Words Like Bullets
by jmaddox1815
Summary: Sometimes bullet wounds lead you to exactly what you need. (Or, five times Bones regretted sleeping with Reya and one time he didn't.)
1. The First Time: Part One

**_Thank you all for taking the time to read this. This is my first attempt at fan fiction, so go easy on me._**

**_Just a few things that I didn't want to put into summary. _****_Words Like Bullets _****_takes place two years after _****_Star Trek: Into Darkness_****_. I know most 5x+1 stories are short and, at most, have one time per chapter, but I decided to do some idiotically risky for my maiden story and I'm actually trying to have the 5x+1 tell a detailed, growing romance between Bones and my OC, Reya. I've tried to make her as organic as possible to the story line, but if she ends up being a Mary Sue, please don't hesitate to tell me. Aside from that, I just hope you enjoy the story. There's some humor, some angst, and lots of grumpy Bones, so enjoy._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but Reya. I make no money from this. This is strictly for entertainment._**

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The first time happened because of alcohol…

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Doctor Leonard McCoy had a deep distrust of the females of his species. After what he'd gone through at the hands of his horrid bitch of an ex-wife, it was understandable, and it's not as if he allowed it to interfere with his professional life. He simply preferred to spend his free time away from them unless he was drunk and horny.

At the present moment, he was only the latter, but he intended to fix that. His good captain, in a rare outing without Carol Marcus, had even agreed to be his wingman for the night.

The two strolled in companionable silence through the Orion space station the Enterprise was currently docked at. They were two years into their five-year mission, but they needed to stop to restock and perform basic maintenance and repairs. They'd be here for two months.

A small city had been fashioned in the middle of the station, complete with hotels, bars, schools, temples, and parks. The sound of children laughing pierced Bones' heart, but he firmly pushed it away. He'd get to see his own daughter soon enough. By some miracle, his ex-wife had agreed to let Jo come visit him while they were in the relative safety of the space station. He'd have his little girl in two weeks and get to keep her for a month.

James T. Kirk, his captain and the man he saw as an irritating little brother, stopped by one of the many play areas they'd been passing. "Hey! Isn't that Ensign St. Clair?" He asked, pointing to the petite human woman sitting in a circle of alien children. She had a modified P.A.D.D. balanced on her lap, and she appeared to be reading them and early 21st century Earth children's tale. "Come on. Let's say hi."

"I think she's churnin' butter right now." Bones protested, even as he followed Kirk to a bench near the gathering. He didn't dislike Ensign St. Claire, but he didn't feel like encouraging the gestures of friendship she'd been offering either.

From Texas, the communications officer-in-training had naturally gravitated toward the only other person on board who shared some of her regional quirks. While he appreciated that there was now someone around who understood most of his metaphors and colloquialisms, Ensign St. Claire was a little too young, and little too pretty, and a little too female for his peace of mind.

"What does that even mean?" Kirk asked, stopping to stare back at his CMO.

"It means she's busy, Jim." Bones explained patiently.

The captain shrugged, settling on the bench anyway. "So we'll wait until she's finished. She's been on board three months and I've never seen her outside the bridge. I want to get a feel for her."

"Why not ask Nyota then? The lieutenant is training her."

"Because Nyota can only tell me her progress and qualifications. I need to know what she's actually like." Kirk said. Bones didn't have to have ask for a reason. The young ensign was Lt. Uhara's second-in-command. If something, God forbid, happened to their communications officer, St. Claire would have to step into her position and Kirk needed to be sure he could trust her.

"Watching her read to a group of kids helps you do that?"

The captain rolled his eyes. "Come on, Bones. I know you took some basic psychology courses. Look at her and tell me what you see, right here, right now, without that shield of professionalism that we all wear on the bridge."

Sighing dramatically, he drudged up his knowledge of behavioral analysis and studied the ensign. He had to admit, she looked different that she did on board.

St. Claire had always reminded him of the old Earth actress Marilyn Monroe, except her hair was coal black instead of blond. On the bridge, her hair was always pulled back into a long braid and she accentuated her features with just the barest hints of mascara and lip gloss. Here though, her hair hung, long and loose, past her shoulders, and she wore absolutely no make-up. Despite that, thick black lashes brightened her green eyes and her lips stayed a natural watermelon red.

She wore a black men's button-up shirt, which was several sizes too big, with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Blue jeans, black leather boots, and a small silver locket completed the ensemble. It was far more flattering than the baggy uniform she wore on the bridge, but you still couldn't tell much about her shape besides the fact that she was short and slender.

"She's modest." Bones finally said. "She's purposefully dressing so she doesn't draw attention to herself." He noticed the small Orion child in her lap playing with bright yellow scrunchie, and pointed it out to his captain. "Loose clothes, no make-up, and I'm willing to bet a bottle of bourbon that her hair was in a bun before that little ankle-biter got ahold of her band. She's trying to hide in plain sight."

Kirk grinned, happy to see his friend was getting into the game of people watching, even if he didn't know it. "What else?"

"She's got a soft spot for little lost things." The doctor said. The Orion child on her lap was the only kid in the area that didn't have a parent hovering nearby. It was probably no accident that St. Claire had chosen that child to be the one to sit up front with her. He vaguely recognized some of the pictures she was showing to the group. His own mother had read that story to him as a child. "She's also traditional. That story is from the very early 21st century. Maybe the late 20th, I'm not quite sure. She probably chose it because her mother read it to her, and her grandmother read it to her mother, and so on."

"What else?"

Bones searched for anything he might have missed, but aside from the fact that she was obviously enjoying herself, he couldn't see anything. "I don't know."

"Look at her ring finger." Kirk prodded.

Bones zeroed in on the digit, almost smacking himself when he noticed the prominent tan line where a ring used to be. "She's divorced?"

"Widowed." Kirk corrected. "Lost her husband and her son when Khan crashed the _Vengeance _into Starfleet headquarters." He leaned forward, barely glancing at McCoy while his blue eyes studied every tiny movement she was making. The action made the doctor strangely uncomfortable. "Now let me tell you what you don't know about Ensign St. Claire."

"Her first name is Reya. She's twenty-five, was married at eighteen, and had a child two-weeks after the wedding. Her skill with languages makes Nyota look like a child stuttering through her first words, but she's respectful of her superiors and never tries to outshine her mentor.

"She's trying to hide herself because she blames herself for the death of her family. Apparently, she and her husband were separated at the time of his death and the only reason he and her son were in that area of headquarters was because he was picking the little boy up from the childcare facilities."

Bones felt pity curling through his stomach. He couldn't imagine what that was like. Being separated from Joanna for years at a time was hard enough. If she ever died, he'd probably drink himself to death in a week.

Oblivious, Kirk continued. "She has a temper. One of the other ensigns made the grave mistake of grabbing her ass and she broke his nose." Bones remembered setting the nose of an engineering ensign who complained about uptight bridge bitches. He'd thought it had been Nyota. "And she does have a soft spot for little lost things or people who are hurting or in pain. My theory is that, since she can't fix herself, she tries to fix everyone else instead. Cliché, but it seems to work for her.

"She's careful to control her anger when she's on duty, but her accent thickens, which never fails to get a laugh out of Checkov and Sulu. Still, she takes it in stride, and seems to prefer their company over that of her fellow Ensigns. In fact, aside from everything I just quoted at you from the personnel file Nyota made me read on St. Claire last night, Checkov and Sulu are the only ones who know what she's like when she's not on duty."

Bones glowered at his friend for the trick, but only briefly. Ensign St. Claire had just finished reading and everyone was getting ready to leave. Parents waited patiently while the more affectionate children hugged Reya and the reserved ones thanked her. The Orion child planted a wet kiss on her cheek before running off to join his friends, the yellow scrunchie still around his wrist, and Reya laughed as she watched them go.

"Come on, Bones." Kirk said, slapping his friend's leg. "Before she gets away."

McCoy grudgingly followed, still not sure if he was comfortable around the young woman, despite what he knew about her now.

"Ensign St. Claire!" Kirk called, walking up to her. Bones caught a brief flash of panic before she squared her shoulders and faced them almost defiantly. She moved up a notch in his mind.

"Captain. Doctor." Reya greeted them politely, slipping the P.A.D.D. into her messenger bag. Now that he was closer, McCoy could see the modifications not only allowed the screen to spread out like a true book, but also that a smaller screen on the back allowed her to read without turning the P.A.D.D. "I apologize for the delay in greeting you. I was preoccupied."

"That's quite alright, Ensign. I enjoyed the performance. As did the children." McCoy gave his captain a searching glance. Jimbo was never this polite, not even to visiting dignitaries.

"You should call me Reya, not Ensign." She corrected as they started walking from the park. "I don't like being addressed by my Starfleet title when not on duty. May I ask what brought you and Doctor McCoy to the park today, Captain?"

Kirk smiled, moving from one side of Reya to the other, effectively trapping her between him and Bones. "As you pointed out, we're not on duty. Call me Jim." She didn't reply, simply following his movement with her head and keeping a steady gaze on him. She wasn't checking him out. Jim knew what that looked and felt like. It was more like she was making a concentrated effort not to look at Bones and chose to focus on him instead. He slowly shifted to the side, forcing her closer and closer to McCoy. "Bones and I were actually headed for a drink when we saw you and thought we'd stop to say hello."

Reya glanced at the doctor for a quick second, one eyebrow raised as if she didn't believe he'd want to be within in a hundred light-years of her. For the first time since his divorce, McCoy actually felt a bit of shame for how he treated the opposite sex. Perhaps he could have been a bit more subtle about keeping her at arm's length.

"You're welcome to join us, if you like." Kirk continued, still slowly pushing Reya towards Bones. There was barely an inch of space between the ensign and doctor now, and she obviously wasn't comfortable with it. "The more the merrier."

Reya stopped abruptly, effectively creating space between her and the men. "Thank you, Captain, but no thank you. I've already accepted an invitation from Lieutenants Checkov and Sulu to join them for supper. If you'll excuse me."

"Hold on. Hold on." Jim scuttled around in front of her, holding his hands up. "Surely you don't have to meet them right now. And I told you to call me Jim."

"I don't believe Lt. Marcus would appreciate that, considering the nature of your relationship." Reya replied drily, and Bones understood what Jim meant about her accent thickening when she was irritated. The syrupy sound reminded him of home. "I promised to meet the lieutenants within the hour. Perhaps another time. It was nice seeing you. Captain. Doctor."

It wasn't until she'd nodded to them both and started to walk away that Bones realized, aside from that one, skeptical, glance, Reya had deliberately refused to look at him. For some irrational reason, the knowledge irritated him. "Come on Jim." He growled. "I need a drink."

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	2. The First Time: Part Two

Reya collapsed onto a chair in the restaurant's observation deck. She'd give Checkov and Sulu this; they knew how to pick a restaurant. Clear glass made a bubble that the restaurant used a patio and the stars glistened all around. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

Never in her life did she imagine she'd be out here, in deep space, exploring remote space stations and discovering unknown planets. She was a linguist. When she joined Starfleet, she'd expected to be assigned to one of the Federation embassies as a translator, safely grounded on Earth. Now she was shooting through the stars on the _Enterprise_, under the command of the youngest captain in Starfleet history, with the most cantankerous pain-in-the-ass doctor she'd ever had the displeasure to meet.

Groaning, she dropped her head into her folded arms. That wasn't true. In the beginning, when Lt. Uhura had given her a tour of the ship and introduced her to the command team, she'd been ecstatic to meet Dr. McCoy. The prospect of having another southerner on board made her believe she'd have someone to talk to and help keep the homesickness at bay, but the good doctor made it more than clear that he wasn't interested.

Reya had tried to shrug it off and make friends with two members of the bridge crew that actually made an effort to get to know her instead. It didn't work that well; not when the simple sound of Dr. McCoy's voice reminded her of the life she'd left on Earth.

Reya shook her head, pushing the depressing thoughts aside as she ordered a beer and a shot of whiskey. This was all the captain's fault. He and that damn doctor of his should have just kept moving.

"Little Reya?"

She glanced up, smiling widely when she saw Scotty standing there, dressed to the nines and shifting uncomfortable from foot to foot. He had a bouquet of replicated Calla lilies in his hand. "Hey darlin'. What are you doin' here?"

The Scottish engineer flushed faintly. "Well… I… Ya see, lass…"

Reya cut him off with a laugh. It was adorable to see the aging Scotsman so flustered. "No need to act like a kid caught rubbin' the one-eyed snake. You're obviously here for a date. I'm just wondering with whom."

"I'm no' sure." Scotty finally admitted, crumpling into one of the chairs across from her. "Pavel and Hikaru set it up. They said I'd know when I go' here. Something aboot her wearing' a yellow hair ban'."

She froze, flashing to the memory of Checkov shyly handing her a yellow scrunchie on her way out this morning. He'd said Sulu noticed it at a shop that recreated ancient human fashion and thought she'd like it. He'd begged her to wear it to dinner tonight to please his boyfriend, but the little Orion child, Teckan, had taken it. She'd never thought to get it back. "A yellow hair band?"

Scotty nodded morosely, signaling the waiter. "Do ya think she could be late?"

_Actually, I think she was early._ Reya thought, scowling. Instead she asked, "Why did you agree to a blind date?"

The engineer shrugged, carefully laying the flowers on the table. "Hikaru said the lass, whoever she is, needed a date as bad as I do. I figured it could no' hurt."

"Sulu said that, huh?" Reya's scowl deepened. Her minds was going into warp drive as she started planning numerous ways to torture Checkov and Sulu when she saw them next. A brief look at the embarrassment on Scotty's face convinced her to finalize the details later. After she'd comforted the engineer.

Taking a deep breath, she lied as if her life depended on it. "I am so sorry, Mr. Scott. This is all my fault." She ducked her head, forcing herself to blush. "A couple weeks ago, I told Pavel and Hikaru that I was ready to start dating again, but I didn't know how to go about it." She quickly explained what happened to the scrunchie, the blush becoming less forced as she realized that her friends actually tricked her into going on a date. "This must be their way of trying to help."

Scotty gaped at her for a minute, taking in her red cheeks, the casual way she was dressed, and the barely repressed desire to throttle someone in her eyes, before he burst out laughing. "I'm sorry." He gasped out after a moment, and Reya felt a small smile twitching into place on her own face. "I'm sorry. But wha' were those two thinkin'? You an' I-"

"Would probably be the worst couple in history." She finished for him, starting to laugh herself. "You're this extroverted workaholic/lunatic and I'm-"

"So shy it took me two months to learn your name." Scotty smiled warmly at their server, taking the whiskey he brought him and raising it in a mock toast. "To our idiot friends."

Reya tapped the side of his glass with her shot. "To our idiot friends."

"It's nothin' against you, lass." He tried to assure her after they knocked back their drinks. "You're verra beautiful but-"

"I'm not your type." She waved it off, chasing her shot with a sip of beer. Reya was still grinning a bit because of the complete lunacy of her friend's plan. "Don't worry about it. You're not my type either."

"What? You doona like older men?" Scotty teased, waving for a refill on his drink.

Reya kept smiling. "Oh, I like older men just fine. I just want a guy more interested in me than a warp core."

"Hey!" He leaned forward, humor still sparkling in his eyes. "I'll have you know that warp cores care be verra sexy."

"I have no doubt, but how could a little human like me ever compete with all that glistening metal and radioactive lasers?"

Scotty threw his head back and laughed, startling some people at a nearby table. "I never knew ye could be so feisty, lass."

"I think the sheer ridiculousness of this situation has me letting loose a bit." Reya replied, shaking her head. She gratefully accepted the second shot she hadn't realized Scotty ordered for her, tossing it back and resisting the urge to flip the glass over and slam it on the table like her grandmother had taught her. This didn't seem like the type of establishment that would appreciate that.

Bolstered by the alcohol, a somewhat stupid idea spilled out of her mouth before she could stop it. "You know, tonight doesn't have to be a complete waste."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," she said slowly, "I was all set for a night of dinner and drinking with Hikaru and Pavel. You were set for a date that probably involved dinner and drinking. So let's do it."

"Go on a date?"

"Have dinner and go drinking." She clarified, lifting her beer toward him. "What do you say, Mr. Scott? What to show an ensign a night on the town?"

Scotty studied Reya carefully, searching for an ulterior motive. Finding none, he broke into a wide grin. "What the hell. Let's see if you can keep up, Little Reya."

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	3. The First Time: Part Three

Bones slammed back another bourbon, signaling the bartender for a refill. Kirk rolled his eyes, slowly sipping at his beer. Carol would be pissed if he came home drunk.

Tonight had been a bust. Bones couldn't find a single girl he'd like to take home. He inevitably found something wrong with all of them. He didn't like blonds. That one was too tall. Another had an annoying laugh. Her boobs were too small. Her boobs were too big. She had no ass. He rather sleep with a Vulcan than take home someone who didn't know what blues music was. Kirk had given up after Bones shot down the 15th woman and resigned himself to a night of watching his friend get shit-faced, then helping the good doctor hobble home.

"Capt'ain, ya sly dog!" Someone bellowed in his hear. Kirk swung around to see Scotty standing there, grinning from ear to ear.

"Mr. Scott!" He exclaimed, eyes settling on the young woman tucked under his Chief Engineer's arm. "And Ensign St. Claire? I thought you were having dinner with Mr. Sulu and Mr. Checkov."

Reya laughed, the slight glazed look to her eyes telling him she was already a little past tipsy. "So did I, Captain." She jerked her head toward the back of the room. "Grab your crotchety doctor and come get a booth with us. We'll tell you all about it."

Kirk nodded, ignoring Bones' threatening glare. "Sure. First round is on me. What's your poison?"

Scotty looked down at Reya's head resting comfortably on his shoulder. She'd had four shots and two beers at the restaurant. She probably shouldn't have anything more than another beer or two for the rest of the night. Then again, she had him, the captain, and the doctor to look out for her. Even if the captain and McCoy chose not to watch after her, a strange affection, like what someone probably felt for a little sister, had firmly taken root. He'd make sure she made it back to the ship safe and sound. "Jus' grab a bottle o' whiskey for us and I'll get the tab."

Kirk nodded and watched Scotty lead Reya through to a free booth along the back wall. The place was a complete dive. Shady characters littered every corner, but the young ensign didn't seem the least bit concerned. She'd broken away from Scotty about halfway to the booth and managed to adroitly side-step even the most rough-and-tumble creatures that seemed intent on getting a quick grab at her. It made him wonder, not only if she was a drunk as she seemed, but how many times she'd been in establishments of this sort.

"Come on Bones." He said, turning to clap his friend on the shoulder. "It looks like we've got a new set of drinking buddies."

"Dammit, Jim. I'm a doctor, not a college student." Bones groused, planted firmly on his stool.

"Then stay here and be a sullen, lonely drunk." Kirk replied, quickly giving the bartender their order. "I, for one, and going to go shamelessly flirt with that hot little ensign, then see if I can talk Carol into a threesome."

He wondered if Bones realized how fast he moved from the bar to the booth.

* * *

"We should play a drinking game!" Kirk announced, purposely crowding into the circular booth to push Bones closer to Reya. He gave his most shameless smile to the waitress as she sat an unopened bottle of whiskey and four shot glasses on the grubby table.

Bones choked on his bourbon, glaring at his friend. "Why the hell would we want to do that?"

Scotty shrugged, reaching forward to open the bottle and our them each a drink. "Why no'? Why could play Truth or Dare."

"How about Truth or Drink." Reya countered. "We each get to ask a question. If you want to answer, you do, if you don't, you drink."

"Sounds good to me." Kirk said, grabbing his drink. "Who wants to start?"

"Why don't y'all start without me?" Reya suggested, performing an odd contortionist act that got her over Scotty and out of the Booth. "I need to grab a beer."

"Why?" It was a question, but somehow Bones' gruff voice made it sound like a demand.

Kirk and Scotty snickered when they saw Reya's eyes narrow dangerously on McCoy. "Because I'm a wimp and I need a chaser. Got a problem with that, Doc?"

Bones stared back at her insolently, refusing to speak and refusing to break eye contact. Reya simply refused to play. Rolling her eyes, she worked her way through the crowd and back to the bar.

The captain and his chief engineer gave each other knowing grins. "So," Kirk began innocently, "was this a date?"

"It was suppose' to be." Scotty answered, catching onto Jim's game. Both men watched Bones for any reactions. "Aye, an' I was a nervous wreck, but Parvel and Hikaru forgot to tell her."

"Forgot to tell her? You didn't ask her yourself?"

"It was suppose' to be a blin' date. Unfortunately, Little Reya came in blin' to the fact she was suppose' to be on a date." Scotty answered, trying not to laugh as he saw Dr. McCoy's hands tighten around the glass he was so resolutely staring in. "She's a good sport though, my little ensign over there." Bones' hands nearly cracked the glass when he heard the possessive term. "Came right out an' offered to go along with it, since we were both plannin' on eatin' an' drinkin' anyway."

"Really?" Kirk smothered a grin. He could feel how tense Bones was. "So she's not as shy as she seems?"

"She is. Shock an' alcohol just helped her ge' over it."

Reya chose that moment to shimmy back to the table, brushing off wandering hands as she went. "Ok. What did I miss?"

"Scotty was just telling us about his botched attempt at a date." Kirk answered, making sure Bones was watching as he blatantly checked out the way the ensign bent and squirmed to regain her previous seat between Scotty and the CMO. Bones was spending too much time around Spock, because the glare the doctor sent him was singing his hair.

Reya settled in, laughing lightly. "Yeah. Sulu and Checkov are going to look sorrier than a drenched kitten by the time I'm done with them."

Bones locked eyes with her. He seemed intent on making eye contact as much as possible. Apparently Reya's avoidance at the park hadn't gone unnoticed by the doctor after all, contrary to what Kirk thought. "Come on now, Ensign St. Claire. It was more like purposefully puttin' the empty carton back in the refrigerator, not slatherin' your jockstrap in IcyHot."

"No. It was like lurin' a cow with pellets and feedin' her hay."

"Dammit Bones! What did I say about the metaphors?"

Scotty shook her head, draping an arm over Reya's shoulders for the sheer pleasure of seeing McCoy's eyes harden into hazel diamonds. "Even I couldna follow that, lass."

"Do you want the full explanation or the Sparknotes?"

"Sparknotes."

"I said I was going to make out idiot friends pay. Doctor McCoy claimed it was a harmless prank, not something that could actually cause damage, and I told him that it was lying to get the result they wanted. Then the captain interrupted us and here we are."

Kirk blinked at the rapid-fire explanation while Bones sniggered into his glass. "Why the hell didn't you just say that?"

Reya shrugged, toying with her shot glass. Some annoyingly hopeful prick in the back of her mind told her that she'd just had a bonding moment with the sullen CMO. "Because my way made more sense, at least to me." She shook off Scotty's arm and scooted forward. "Enough. Let's start the game. Who wants to go first?"

"I will." Scotty said, pushing Reya's glass closer to her. "How do you like the _Enterprise_ so far, Little Reya?"

"I love it!" She answered enthusiastically. "Lt. Uhura is teaching me about the actual cultures, not just the languages. Like Vulcans. Did you know that they're so touch sensitive that they kiss with their fingers?"

Kirk watched Bones. The good doctor was trying to stay brooding and grouchy, but Reya's joy at something as simple as learning how Vulcans kiss was infectious. Or maybe it was the way her jade eyes lit up and her accent became as "thick as molasses", as Bones would say, while she talked a mile a minute. He was staring at Reya, slightly slack-jawed, hazel eyes starting to dance with the same sort of elation coming off her in waves, before he came to himself and forced a scowl back in place. "I'm never shakin' hands with the damn green hobgoblin again."

"Spock doesn't shake hands." Reya pointed out. "Ok. My Turn." She studied each man at the table, trying to come up with a half-way decent question. Her first buzz was starting to wear off, and she could feel her natural instinct to shrink down and stay quiet around strangers coming into play. "Captain." She finally said, trying not to blush as she did the silliest thing she could think of. Grabbing the whiskey bottle, she pretended it was a microphone. "Tell me, Captain James Tiberius Kirk, how does it feel to be the youngest captain in Starfleet history."

Even Bones cracked a smile at her truly terrible impersonation of a reporter. "Well," Kirk began, leaning over Bones to speak into the bottle, "While I love my silver lady, if I ever have to fill out another batch of paperwork, it will be too soon. And don't get me started on the members of my crew who try to keep me from actually exploring the planet's we discover."

"Maybe we're just tired of stitching you up, Jim." Bones pointed out, pushing Jim back into his seat.

"Or resetting bones." Scotty pointed out.

"Regenerating skin tissue." Reya added, laughing.

"Shouldn't this be considered some form of mutiny?" Kirk asked. "Ok, my turn." The captain's blue eyes landed on Scotty. "So, my dear Chief Engineer, tell me true. Who did you hope Sulu set you up with?"

Scotty glared at his friend, before picking up his shot and knocking it back. "Nice try, Jim. Doc, when was the last time you cracked a smile?"

"Thirty seconds ago." Bones pointed out. He turned to Reya. "Who were you hoping to see at the restaurant tonight?"

"Checkov and Sulu. I really thought I was meeting them for supper. Then we were supposed to go to some dance place of few levels down." She answered.

Kirk heard a low growl in Bones' throat and saw what was going on. Reya had gone back to pointedly not meeting his eyes. Instead, she was staring at some point over his right shoulder. He was going to step in and stop McCoy from purposely riling the ensign, but Reya beat him to the point. "Why'd you start practicing medicine, Dr. McCoy?"

"Why do you always use my full title? You don't do that to anyone else." Bones countered.

"That's not how this game works, Dr. McCoy. You have to answer a question before you can ask one."

Bones glowered at her, but choked back his shot. "There. Now answer the question."

Smiling mischievously, Reya opened her mouth as if she were about to speak, and tossed back the alcohol instead, following it with a quick sip of beer. Even more amazing was that she managed to do it all without taking her eyes off that phantom point over McCoy's shoulder.

Jim couldn't help it. He double over laughing, laying his head on the table. It was the best and worst battle of wills he'd ever seen. Even Scotty was gagging, try not to laugh. Reya watched them, her eyes curious, before shaking it off and turning to her "date." "Why did you really agree to go on a blind date, Scotty?"

Scotty shook his head, still letting out strangled giggles. "Oh no, lass. I'm no' goin' there." He tossed back his shot. "Jim, how many people have you really slept with. Forget the legends. Just give me a ballpark."

"Somewhere around 70, I think." Kirk said, getting an evil idea. "Ensign St. Claire."

"Reya."

"Not until you call me Jim."

She glared at him, suspicious already. Quietly, she refilled her shot glass in challenge, flat out telling him that it'd have to be a pretty mundane question to get her to answer. That was ok though, because Jim had foolproof question. No matter how she answered, she'd let him know what he wanted. "Have you ever thought about sleeping with someone at this table?"

Bones sputtered. Scotty turned to stare at her with interest. Kirk was giving her his most smug smile. Reya was frozen. She wasn't going to break the rules and lie, but she sure as hell didn't want to admit to it by taking a shot, either. Slumping dejectedly, she hissed out a word in Klingon that essentially translated into jackass, and slammed back the shot, downing half her beer with it. Narrowing her gaze on him, she pushed Jim's glass closer to him. "Have you, Jim?"

"All of you, at some point, Reya." He replied, switching from smug to seductive. She rolled her eyes. "Who have you thought about sleeping with?"

"If we ever perfect time travel, I wouldn't mind having a few hours with Sean Connery." She replied flippantly, neatly find the loophole. "What's your favorite color, Scotty?"

The table fell silent. Scotty shook his head. "Is that really the bes' ye can do, Little Reya?"

"For right now, yeah." She shrugged. "So spill. What color makes Scotty smile?"

"Silver."

"The warp core? Again?" Reya tossed her head back to laugh, some of her hair flying across Bones' face. Kirk nearly doubled over laughing again. His friend looked like someone had just hit him between the eyes with a tribble. "See. I told you I could never compete."

Scotty grinned. "You admitted that it could be sexy."

"I said I didn't deny it." Reya corrected. "Personally I've never seen the appeal."

"What do you find sexy, then?" Scotty countered. "An' yes. That is my question."

She took her shot. It was an effective way of saying _none of your business_ as any. "I pass. No more questions from me for a while."

"You can't do that!" Bones rumbled.

"Fine. Then I give my question to you."

"You can't do that either."

"Why not?" For the first time since she left to get her beer, she made direct eye contact with McCoy. "Give me one good reason, Doctor? I have no questions. Why not let the rest of you ask?"

Bones stared down at her. Kirk started to get worried. He recognized that little twitch at the corner of his friend's mouth and the way his hand tightened around the edge of the table. "Fine, _Ensign_," McCoy made the title sound like a curse, "here's your question. How does it feel to serve on the ship that practically caused your son's death?"

Reya's face fell for half-a-second, and Kirk caught a glimpse of such raw, agonizing pain that he swore he could feel it searing across his own skin. Scotty still seemed to be in shock. It didn't look like that Scotsman knew that part of Reya's past. Then again, before tonight he'd probably only know her in passing. McCoy hadn't even known before this afternoon, and that's only because Kirk opened his big mouth. He felt the singular weight of that mistake settling on his shoulders, adding to the constant burden of responsibility he already carried as captain. "Bones!"

"No, Jim." Reya carefully slid a calm mask in place, but it was too late. Kirk had already seen that soul-crushing grief, and so had McCoy. "He wants to play the game this way. Fine." She picked up her shot glass, and tossed back the burning alcohol, not bothering with a chaser this time. It seemed she wanted the burn. "That wasn't me using an out. I just need to wet my whistle.

"You want to know how I feel about serving on the ship that caused my son's death?" Kirk got chills from the look she had trained on Bones. It somehow managed to wrap pain, betrayal, fury, and defiance into an icy spear that was slowly digging its way into Bones' chest. "Until this very moment, I never thought of it that way. The _Vengeance_ killed my son, and my husband. Though Allan was fast on his way to becoming an ex, we were still married when John Harrison crashed that ship. The _Enterprise_ and her crew were trying to save my son.

"Your captain gave his life trying to do that. Your first officer captured the man who was truly responsible. You worked your ass for almost three days helping to heal the wounded and rescue those who were trapped. It was your head nurse who prepared my son and husband for burial. Your engineers who pulled their bodies from the wreckage, and your communications officer who held my hair when my body revolted at the news and had me spewing bile and everything I'd eaten in the last 48 hours into the toilet. I'm honored to serve on the _Enterprise._ I am honored to serve next to the people who brought my family back to me, and I am honored to be part of that crew. The only person I blame for my son's death is that bastard who crashed the _Vengeance._

"And Doctor McCoy?" She leaned close, effectively invading any personal space Bones had left. "The next time you bring up my child, remember it's a lot harder to speak when someone has hyposprayed you with a sedative and stitched your lips together the old fashioned way." The two held eye contact for a few more seconds while Reya let the threat settle in. "Let me out, Scotty. I'm done drinking tonight."

"I'll walk you back to your quarters, lass." Scotsman, equal parts furious with Bones and frightened by the deadly serious tone Reya had delivered the threat in. He reached his hand down to help her out of the booth, but she brushed him away.

"No, Scotty. Stay here and drink. I'm not going back to the _Enterprise _tonight. I still have four more days of shore leave and I intend to use them."

"Ensign St. Claire." Kirk shouted, using his most commanding voice. He was going to order her to either return to the ship or allow Scotty to escort her to her destination so that he knew she made it somewhere safe. Then he saw her shoulders shaking.

It was a small thing, barely perceptible, but he recognized. It was the tremor of someone who was barely holding on. It showed she was using all her energy, dredging up all her fury, to help keep herself together. And the second she was alone, she'd let herself fall apart.

"Do you have your communicator?" He asked, gentling his tone. She nodded stiffly. "Then leave a message on the ship's log when you reach your destination, informing Lt. Uhura and myself that you are safe."

"Yes, Captain." She responded stiffly, before swirling on her heel and marching out. The rage radiating off her must have put off the people who'd been trying to grope her, because no one so much as reached her way as she swirled through the crowd and out the door.

Kirk waited for a few moments, pressing down the pity he felt for her, before addressing his CMO. "That was fucking low, Bones. And you know it."

Bones hadn't taken his eyes off the door. He hadn't let his gaze wander from Reya the entire time she'd been talking and he hadn't let her out of his sight until she left the bar. Kirk could tell he regretted what he said, but the Georgian was too damn proud to admit it.

Scotty was slowly getting over his shock, and replacing it indignant rage. It was only a cautioning look from Kirk that was keeping the Scotsman from tearing into Bones.

He let the condemning silence settle around Bones instead, while he Scotty continued to drink. It only took a few moments before Bones cursed, tearing over Kirk and out of the bar.

* * *

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	4. The First Time: Part Four

Bones found her in a hotel bar. She stuck out like a sore thumb among the green Orions. He just noticed how pale her skin truly was. It was the same hue as the snows he'd seen in Colorado. How long had she stayed hidden away, burying herself in studies and duties to escape the pain he'd so callously thrown about in a stupid drinking game?

"Fuck off, Dr. McCoy." She said without preamble. There were already four shot glasses lined up in front of her, and another in her hand.

"If it helps anything, I feel like manure on toast." He muttered, sliding onto the stool next to her. Reya didn't respond. She just tossed back her shot and slammed the glass down. Bone's figured she had to be three sheets to the wind by now, but anger was keeping her going. His self-hatred grew as he noticed a faint tear tracks drying on her cheeks. "I am sorry, Reya."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, fuck off Doctor McCoy."

"Not until I make this right."

"We should learn to choose our words carefully, as we can hurt and mislead others. Words can't be taken back once you give them away. Harsh words are like bullets: no matter what, they can still leave a painful injury. And sometimes a sorry is not enough to heal the wounds you leave."

"How poetic."

"Not mine. Ritu Ghatourey. Still, she sums it up nicely." The bartender poured Reya another shot, leering at her.

Bones glared the Orion down. "You said some pretty harsh words yourself, darlin'."

She chuckled, and harsh smile twisting her features. "I'm not going to apologize."

"I don't expect you to." He ordered a bourbon for himself. He couldn't take back what he said, but he didn't have to let her drink alone. "I'm sorry."

"How long are you going to say that?" She snapped, glaring at him, and God save him if she wasn't the most gorgeous creature he'd ever seen, full of fire and wrath. He was starting to understand the appeal Valkyrie had to the ancient Norse.

"Until you forgive me."

"Would you forgive me if I flipped the tables?" She asked, oddly calm, staring at the never ending scrawl of incomprehensible garble scrolling across the screen above the bar. "Would you forgive me if I asked you about your divorce? Or your daughter? Would you forgive me if I rubbed you face in how long it's been since you've seen her?" Reya held up a hand. "I'm not asking. I don't want to know. That's your personal business, and I have no place in your personal life. So stay out of mine. Stop apologizing, and go back to the captain. Knowing him, he'll get into a fight and you'll need to patch him up."

Bones fought the urge to lash out even as what she said struck home. He was a parent himself. He'd lost his daughter too, though he still had the option of seeing her every now and again. Reya couldn't ever see her son again, and he'd thrown that in her face like it was no more significant than losing a pen. He almost wished he'd flat out stabbed her instead. He knew how to fix that. He had no idea how to fix the damage he'd done tonight. "He'll be fine. Nurse Chapel is on duty."

Reya didn't say anything. She just kept rolling the shot glass between her palms, warming the liquid inside. After a few moments, she set to work on the built-in ordering P.A.D.D. in front of her. A replicated pack of cigarettes, new age and carcinogen-free, appeared in front of her along with a book of matches and an ashtray. She shakily lit one, inhaling deeply.

The doctor in him wanted to snatch the stick from her hand and break it. The days had long passed since cigarettes could actually harm someone, but he'd read all the stories of how they used to slowly poison the body, charring the lungs and causing cancer. He hadn't touched one in years because of those stories. Instead, he reached over and stole one from her pack. He couldn't let her smoke alone either.

"Jocelyn was a cruel bitch." He said after a moment, not really inhaling the smoke. "The divorce was on the both of us. Enough time has passed that I can admit that. But she was so bitter that she took everything from me, including our daughter." He waited for a minute, hoping she'd say something. She just kept staring at the screen. "I haven't seen Joanna in almost two years. Not since we left for this mission. Jocelyn's remarried. I think it might have softened her a bit. She's letting Jo come visit since we're going to be docked here for a while. I don't even know if I'll recognize her. When I left, she was just this little four year-old beauty in pigtails, still suckin' her thumb."

"Zach was five." Reya said finally, still calm. No, it was more like blank. "He never sucked his thumb, but he never went anywhere without this little teddy bear in a Starfleet uniform." She shuddered, ducking her head before visibly pulling it all in. "He was always so happy. Even during the worst of it, when Allan and I were so angry at each other and all we did was yell, he never lost that happiness. The night it all went to hell, and I finally kicked Allan out, Zach didn't even cry. I was slumped against a wall, bawling my eyes, blood matting my hair from where Allan had thrown me into a wall, and Zach just crawled into my lap, kissed my cheek, and told me it would be alright."

She left out a harsh laugh. "It made me realize what a horrible mother I was being. No four year-old should ever have to tell his parent it would be ok. It should always be the other way around. That night, I held him in my arms, and I promised that he'd never have to tell me that again. Then a year later he was just, gone. No warning. No chance to say goodbye. I didn't even get a chance to apologize for never being able to become the mother he deserved."

Bones clenched his hands into fists, nearly snapping his cigarette. Even at their worst, when Jocelyn was blatantly seeing other men and he said every cruel thing he could think of just to break her down, he'd never laid his hands on her. And he never let Joanna see it. "Did he ever have to say it again?"

Reya inhaled deeply, staring at the swirling patterns of the smoke for a minute before she answered. "Nope. I did keep that promise. I didn't fall into the pattern that most girls did. I never took Allan back. And, after he took some anger management courses and I got the all-clear from his counselor, I even let Zach see his father again." She tossed back the whiskey, grimacing at the burn. "That's one thing I cling to. I never used Zach as a pawn to get back at my husband. I kept him safe, and when Allan proved himself, I let him back into Zach's life."

"Did he… hurt you, often?" Bones growled out, unsure why he was asking. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to imagine her bloody and bruised at the hands of someone who was supposed to cherish her.

"Only during the last year." She said. Her tone made it more than clear that she didn't want to talk about it, something Bones was grateful for.

They sat in silence; Reya steadily smoking; Bones steadily drinking. He didn't know what to say. All he could imagine was the hell she must have lived through in that year. "You weren't a bad mother." He finally said. "You didn't do everything right, but no parent does. More importantly, when you realized that you were messing up, you fixed it."

"I shouldn't have had anything to fix. I never should have let it get to the point where I needed to have anything to fix. My son should have never felt like he had to comfort his mother."

"You taught your son to care." Bones contradicted, turning her so she faced him. "He was four-years old, but he was fearless, happy, and caring. He saw his mother in pain and he knew, because you taught him, that there was a way to comfort you. It's a damn good mother that can raise a child with that much empathy, especially if your home life was half the hell that I'm imagining it was."

Reya gave a bitter smile. "Whatever you say, Dr. McCoy."

"Leonard." He corrected. "Or Bones. Whichever you prefer."

A real smile spread across her face. "I think I like Bones."

* * *

McCoy and Reya stumbled toward the room she'd rented in the hotel. She'd slurred something about and early morning lesson with Gaila in Orion cultural traditions when he asked her why she'd chosen to stay there instead of heading back to her quarters on ship. Bones figured he'd have to send Gaila a message that she'd have to reschedule with the ensign.

He waved the key card in front of her door, and helped her to the bed. "Alright, come on now, Reya. Down you go."

She gingerly lowered herself on the bed, holding onto his hands for support. Bones wasn't in a much better position. It took all of his effort not to tumble over on top of her. Reya kept hold of his hands even after she was safely on the bed. She gently shifted, bringing their palms together, seemingly fascinated by the size difference. He could almost fold the his fingers over hers. Everything about her was so dainty, but there was this steel core to her that kept her going. It was a fascinating combination.

"It's a good things we're not Vulcans." She mumbled, sliding her hands up until the pads of their fingers met. "I'm pretty sure this would classify as making out."

Bones chuckled, swaying slightly on his feet. He spread his fingers, letting her fall into the gaps. "Would this be sex then?"

"If so, I feel really bad for Lt. Uhura." Reya joked, tilting her head back to smile up at him. Her eyes were hazy with intoxication, and her tilted at just the right angle so he could see her pulse steadily beating at the base of her throat.

Feeling himself get lightheaded, he sat on the bed next to her, eerily aware of the way the room swam around them. "I'm pretty sure I don't want to think about that." He murmured, giving into the desire to lie down. "It's a little galling to know that a green-blooded hobgoblin is getting laid more than I am."

Reya slowly lowered herself beside him, turning her head so their eyes met. It was probably the alcohol screwing with his brain, but if you asked him right then, Bones would swear that having those verdant irises trained on him was more addicting than any drug. "So get a girlfriend. I'm sure Nurse Chaplin wouldn't mind if you turned those honeyed hazels on her."

"She might not, but Yeoman Rand might."

"They're dating?" Reya arched an eyebrow. "I didn't know that."

"Since the academy. I think they've requisitioned Starfleet for a marriage license." He turned on his side. "Did you just call my eyes 'honeyed hazels'?"

"You've never heard that term? It's like baby blues or beautiful browns."

He didn't even realize he was moving his hand until it brushed across her cheek. "What do they call green eyes?"

"Gorgeous greens, I think." She whispered. They both felt the tension in the air, waiting to snap. The small part of Bones' brain that wasn't completely pickled by alcohol was screaming at him to get up and walk out now, before he did something he'd regret.

The rest of his brain told that small part to shut up. She was lying there, eyes crinkled with humor, lips slightly parted. Everything in him wanted to lean forward and see if she tasted like watermelons. So he did.

Reya froze for half a second. His lips were slightly chapped and rough, but he was being tender, applying the barest pressure. Her body warred with itself, half of her wanting to give in and sink against him, the other half wanting to push him away and tell him to get the hell out of her room. She let her eyes slide closed.

Searching, his tongue came out, poking at the seam of her lips. She moaned slightly, letting him in, and it all got blurry. One moment, it was just that gentle, testing kiss; the next she was one her back and Bones was kissing his way down her chest, unbuttoning her shirt as he went. Before she fully understood what was going on, they were both naked, he thrust into her, and nothing else mattered. All she knew was that it had been so long, too long, and this felt good. He hit this spot inside of her with every stroke, sending tingles shooting through her body. He brought her to her peak twice, and she raked her nails down his back while he shuddered and jerked when reaching his own. He gathered her in his arms afterwards, and she fell asleep with the warm safety of Bones' body surrounding her.

She woke up alone.

* * *

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	5. The Second Time: Part One

_**Thank you to everyone who has followed this story or added it to your favorites. I truly appreciate the support.**_

* * *

The second time happened because of anger…

* * *

Bones watched her read to the children. That same little Orion child was firmly back in her lap, and she'd pulled out the classic _Beauty and The Beast_ for her crowd of miniature onlookers. She didn't look any worse for wear. There were bags under her eyes, and he'd caught a glimpse of a hydration patch stuck to her arm, but other than that, you couldn't tell that she probably had a vicious hangover.

That's why he was here, or at least that's what he told himself. He had his patented hangover cure waiting in a hypospray for her to have a free moment for him.

"And they lived happily ever after." Reya finished, turning off the P.A.D.D. He moved forward, ready to wait on the edge of the crowd while her mini-admirers said their goodbyes. One of the parents approached her, holding her favorite little Orion in his arms.

Bones glared as the man and Reya conversed in an alien language, laughing when the child jumped from his father's arms to her. "Teckan, go back to your papa." Reya murmured in English, passing the little boy back to his dad. "Sorry about that. You weren't here yesterday, and he got a little attached."

"I am head of security for this station. There was an incident and I had to entrust one of my officers with him while I took care of it." The Orion man said, almost defensively.

Reya caught the tone, and gave him a placating smile. "I wasn't judging you for not being here. Not all parents can be with their children every minute of every day, no matter how much they might like to be. I was merely trying to explain why Teckan is so attached to me."

"Do you have children, Ms. Reya?" Bones gritted his teeth as she started to walk away with the Orion man. Damn her, anyway. She could survive the hangover on her own.

* * *

Bones looked around the hall, making sure no nosy crew members were hanging around, before requesting access to Reya's room. It had taken him swallowing all of his pride to ask Kirk where her quarters were, but she'd been almost frigid on the bridge today. He needed to make sure this wouldn't affect their professional lives.

"Occupant is not present." The computer informed him.

He scowled at the door. He knew that wasn't true. He'd overheard Checkov talking to her five minutes ago. Reya was in her room, studying for some certification she had to take next week. He punched in a request for access again.

"Occupant is not present." The computer repeated.

Growling in frustration, Bones punched in his CMO override code. "Code not authorized."

"Let me into the room, you damn hunk of space junk!"

"Is there a problem, Dr. McCoy?" Spock strolled up, as quizzical as ever.

"I, uh, detected a medical emergency from Ensign St. Claire's quarters, but the door is locked and my override code isn't working." Bones lied, giving his customary scowl to try to lend more credence to the fib.

Spock tilted his head to the side. "The bridge received no such report."

"There must be a malfunction in the system."

"I conclude that as well, as Ensign St. Claire is currently with Lt. Uhura."

"Reya is on the bridge?" Bones asked. He tried not to react when he realized he'd accidently used her first name.

Spock didn't show whether or not he noticed the slip-up. "Ensign St. Claire is in her quarters. Lt. Uhura is tutoring her in regional Vulcan dialects. While Ms. St. Claire's written comprehension is extraordinary, her pronunciation needs work. I am here to help correct that."

"So she's not dying?" Bones asked, desperately clinging to his charade.

Spock tapped his communicator. "Lt. Uhura, please advise me on the physical well-being of Ensign St. Claire."

"She's fine, Spock. How long until you get here?" Lt. Uhura's voice replied from the speaker.

"Approximately 24.3 seconds." Spock tapped his communicator again. "If you like, Dr. McCoy, I will make a formal report to you after the ensign's lesson."

"That won't be necessary." Bones growled, stalking toward the turbolift. "Just get someone to fix her door."

* * *

He'd managed to track her to the Communications Room. A permanent link had been established with Starfleet Academy so that resident crew members who still had credits to complete before obtaining their officer status could continue their studies. Reya spent six hours a week in that tiny room, learning all about alien languages.

He slipped through the doors, zeroing in on her immediately. She was there with five other crew members, carefully taking notes on the lecture. It had something to do with differentiating between Romulan and Vulcan syntax.

Bones felt a shiver go up his spine. This room felt hallowed, sacred, as if his very presence was an affront to reams of information the cadets soaked in while they were here. Quietly, he moved back out. That was not the place to confront her.

* * *

Bones growled, watching Scotty tussle her hair. She was never alone in the mess hall. Ever. He'd been trying to catch her by herself for five meals, but it's like the entire crew was working against him. The second he had a chance, someone else would swoop in with a request for help translating something, or for a quick conversation in their native tongue. If it wasn't that, then it was Checkov and Sulu. The two never left her side. They walked in with her. They walked out with her. They sat with her. He couldn't even get a seat at her table because Scotty and his assistant always joined before he could get through the line. It was damn frustrating.

Finally, he saw an opening. Scotty got a call on his communicator and went tearing off towards Engineering like the hounds of hell were on his heels. Nodding a good-bye to his nurses, he moved to Scotty's abandoned spot. "Checkov. Sulu. St. Claire. Mind if I join you?"

"Yes! Yes! Sit, Doctor." Checkov exclaimed, waving Bones towards Scotty's empty seat. "The more the merrier, yes?"

They weren't making it obvious, but Checkov and Sulu were leaning slightly towards each other, making sure they stayed connected. Most of the crew knew they were dating, but the two kept it quiet when they were on the ship. It was one of the things Bones respected about them. They knew how to stay professional, despite their personal feeling for each other.

It was more than he could say for Reya. She hadn't so much as glanced up in acknowledgement. Her head was buried in a P.A.D.D., quietly muttering to herself. He caught a few words and thought he recognized some from transmissions sent by New Vulcan.

"Don't mind her." Sulu said, smiling slightly. "The Vulcan High Council is testing her tomorrow. Spock Prime is coming personally to certify her. She's so buried in her studies, we could be attacked and she wouldn't notice."

"You know she can hear you, right?" Bones pointed out, watching how her brow furrowed as she scrolled down the screen.

"Aye, she can hear us." Checkov said, leaning forward and grabbing the milk from her tray. "But she doesn't. Watch." The Russian cleared his throat. "Reya. Little Reya. You've got food on your cheek." Reya didn't look up. "Mr. Scott says the ship's on fire." Still no reaction. "You're on fire."

Reya barely blinked, scrolling to a new area in the text she was studying. Bones tried not to laugh. She had some admirable focus. She stood up all of the sudden, tray untouched, and walked from the mess hall.

"We better follow her." Sulu said apologetically, gathering her tray with his. "Last time we let her go off on her own like this, she nearly opened an airlock thinking it was the door to her room."

Checkov nodded, trotting after her. The men threw a quick goodbye over their shoulders, hurrying to catch up with their friend. Bones cursed. He'd never get to talk to her.

* * *

Bones paced around his office. This situation with Reya was getting out of control. It was starting to affect his duties, dammit! That was all well and good for her. She didn't deal with people. The worst that could happen if she got distracted was a thank-you note from the Androvian ambassador slipped through the cracks. People died if he got sidetracked.

Grumbling, he opened his communicator. "McCoy to bridge."

"Bridge here." Lt. Uhura's voice drifted through the speakers. "How can I help you, Doctor?"

"Send Ensign St. Claire to medical immediately. She's late for her vaccine boosters."

"Ensign St. Claire is unavailable at the moment, Dr. McCoy. She's meeting with the Vulcan High Council to receive her certification as an approved translator." Spock interrupted, taking over the line. "I will inform her that you need to see her once she returns from her exam."

"Thank you, Commander." McCoy replied, cursing under his breath. Snarling to his nurse that he'd be back, he marched out of Sick Bay. All exams were given in a small chamber off to the side of the Communications room. It can be altered to fit any scenario needed, including transforming into an almost exact replica of the Vulcan High Council chambers, complete with Spock Prime staring down at a young woman confidently reciting something in Vulcan.

"Shouldn't you two be on the bridge." Bines snapped, staring up at the screen broadcasting what was happening in the exam room.

Checkov and Sulu, in a rare display of public affection, were holding hands tightly, eyes never moving from the events unfolding just beyond the steel door. "Captain switched us to Beta shift so we could be here."

"Reya was very nervous." Checkov glanced over at the doctor for a split-second. "We didn't want to make her go through this alone."

"You're not exactly in there with her." Bones pointed out.

Sulu shrugged, tugging his boyfriend under his arm. "But we'll be here when she gets out."

The three watched in silence for thirty minutes while Reya endured the scrutiny of Spock Prime. The man didn't give her any leeway, throwing questions at her about syntax and word structure, testing her knowledge of Vulcan vocabulary and even attempting to confuse her by asking her to differentiate between meanings when a Vulcan is under stress or suspicious. Bones felt his blood pressure spike just watching. He couldn't imagine how Reya felt, trapped in there, her entire career riding on the line.

"Ensign Reya St. Claire of Starfleet." Spock Prime began, his voice grave. Bones, Sulu, and Checkov stood at attention as if he'd said their names instead. "Your pronunciation is wrong, you do not differentiate between societal and personal logic, and when it comes to hiding your own emotions, you are inept." Reya's shoulders sagged as Sulu exploded in a tirade of curses and threats against Spock Prime. It was a good thing the exam room was soundproof. "That being said," Sulu abruptly stopped his outburst, "you have an unparalleled understanding of Vulcan language and culture. That being the case, I am granting you a certification declaring you an approved Vulcan translator."

Checkov punched the air. "Yes! Yes! Yes! She did it!"

Bones leaned against the wall, sighing with relief.

"I fully expect you to continue your study of our language and will return in one year to check your progress." Spock Prime continued, oblivious to the little celebration going on right outside. "In the meantime, I suggest you speak to your First Commander. Given the right argument, I'm sure he will agree to help you improve. Also, Dr. McCoy is sure to assist. I recall you once mentioned he was instrumental in your mastery of my language."

Everyone fell silent. Reya glanced up at the cameras. "Computer. Cease video and audio relay from exam room. Ensign code 1-8-1-5-sierra-delta-2."

"Order confirmed."

The screen went dark, leaving Bones, Checkov, and Sulu to stare and it, and each other, in silence.

"Do you speak Vulcan?" Sulu finally asked.

"Not a single word of it." Bones had a tight feeling in his chest. He desperately wanted to know what Spock Prime was saying in that room.

"Then how could you have helped her learn it?"

"I don't know."

The doors swished open. Reya and Spock Prime walked out together, seemingly calm, but Bones could see the small lines of irritation at the corners of her mouth. "Thank you again, Ambassador."

"You are very welcome, Ms. St. Claire." Spock Prime smiled warmly, and Bones wished the day that their Spock found such a balance between his two sides would come sooner than later. "Try to remember what I've told you."

Reya eyes ghosted over McCoy briefly before returning to the aging Vulcan. "Of course, sir." She stepped back, holding her hand up in the Vulcan farewell. "Live long and prosper, Ambassador Spock."

Spock Prime returned the gesture. "Live long and prosper."

Checkov moved up behind her silently, shyly tapping her shoulder. Reya turned and shot him a huge grin. "So…"

"So?" Checkov asked incredulously. "That's all? So? You did it!"

Reya smiled, her entire face lighting up. "I did it." She nodded, as if it were just sinking in. "Oh good green Earth… I did it!"

Checkov laughed, hugging her and lifting her up. Sulu took her next, never letting her feet hit the ground, and spun her around. "Congratulations!" He said, setting her down. "You did great."

Bones watched the trio celebrate, a full-blown grin on his face. Reya's eyes were sparkling as she laughed and did a silly little happy dance with her friends. He stepped forward, thinking about inviting her out to dinner to celebrate. Maybe get a chance to talk to her over food that didn't come from a mass replicator, with candlelight dancing through her hair. Spock Prime stopped him.

"I think this is time she needs with the Misters Sulu and Checkov." The ambassador said softly, low enough that the three friends couldn't hear him. "And I shall give you that same advice I gave Ms. St. Claire. Stay patient, and keep your temper, or you'll lose all you could have."

"And what, exactly, could I have?" Bones asked crossly, staring down the Vulcan.

Spock Prime smiled. "Stay patient, keep your temper, and you will find out."

* * *

"Nurse Chapel! Why have Ensign St. Claire's medical files been moved to the up-to-date category?" Bones demanded, waving his P.A.D.D. in the head nurse's face. He'd only been gone for two hours. He'd headed to the bridge with Checkov, Sulu, and St. Claire to share the good news and gotten trapped there even though Reya managed to scuttle off ten minutes in.

Christine Chapel took the electronic from him calmly, opening the file and scrolling through it. "Apparently because Ensign St. Claire came in 45 minutes ago to receive the vaccine boosters you'd requisitioned for her." She handed the P.A.D.D. back. "Is that a problem?"

Bones reared back, pointing his finger at Chapel, only to find he had nothing to say. There wasn't a reason to have a problem for it. Reya didn't really need the boosters anyway. He only said that in an attempt to get her somewhere private so he could talk to her. "Dammit!"

* * *

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	6. The Second Time: Part Two

Reya collapsed on her bed, sinking into the pillows. God, she'd missed her bed. Caffeine injections and energy supplements had kept her going for the past few days while she crammed. Now she just wanted to curl into a ball and never wake up.

"Message from Chief Medical Officer McCoy." The computer announced, interrupting her fantasies of a long, uninterrupted sleep.

"Play it."

Bones voice spread across the room from the built-in speakers. "I know you've been busy, but we need to talk. Let me know when it's convenient."

_Short and to the point_. She thought, a bit disappointed. She didn't know what he wanted. They'd fought, they got drunk, and they'd slept together. No big deal. Other adults did it all the time and they didn't stalk each other later to talk about it. Especially not when the one doing the stalking was the one who left.

Except, in her heart, it was a big deal. She hadn't been with anyone since Allan. That night with McCoy was a milestone in her life. It was one more shred of evidence that she wouldn't be bogged down with grief and guilt forever. It was proof that she could have a life that included the memories of her son but didn't negate a hope for the future.

"Would you like to send a reply?" The computer asked. Reya rolled her eyes. No. She didn't want to send a reply. She wanted to sleep. She could already feel herself drifting off. "Computer, record message to Dr. McCoy." She waited a few moments, struggling out of bed and jumping around a bit to keep herself awake. "I'm available for the next thirty minutes. After that I'll be locked down for twelve hours, then I have the alpha shift on bridge, followed by a two-hour lecture on Klingon syntax, and a second shift on the bridge. In case you can't do the math, that means by next period of availability will be over 26 hours from now. You better hurry." She curled in the small armchair next to her personal computer. "Send message."

The armchair was far from comfortable, but, in her exhausted state, it felt like heaven. Slowly, her eyes drooped closed.

* * *

Bones breathed a sigh of relief when his access code let him into the room. He'd been afraid she still had him locked out. Her room was a bit of surprise. The standard issue furniture and décor were there, but she'd decorated it with pictures of her son and people that must have been her family back on Earth. A stack of P.A.D.D. software covered her desk and the silver locket she always wore when she was off duty hung neatly next to a golden cross that had to be from the early 20th century, at least.

And then there was Reya, still in her uniform, sleeping soundly in a tiny little armchair next to her desk. He smiled softly. She hadn't even let her hair out of its braid, though a few stray wisps had escaped and clung to her cheek and forehead. He squatted down in front of her, brushing one away. When those bright green eyes fluttered open, his breath stopped. "Mornin' darlin'."

She gave a sleepy smile. "Mornin'." She jerked up. "Is it morning? What time is it? I was supposed to be on the bridge at the start of Alpha shift."

"Just breathe, honey. It's not morning." Bones said, laughing. He settled his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back down. "It's only been a few minutes since you sent the message."

Reya sank back with a relieved sigh. "Oh thank god." She grimaced. "Sorry. It's been a long few days."

He studied the bags under her eyes and the faint tremor in her hand, letting the doctor in himself take over. Hollows under her cheeks told him she probably hadn't been eating, and the empty tray she'd left last week attested to that. There was also a hypospray on her table with a vial of caffeine still attached. It was half-empty. "When was the last time you slept?"

"Three days ago, I think." She mumbled, struggling to keep her eyes open.

"And the last time you ate?"

"I don't remember." Reya's hands shook a little more.

Bones cursed under his breath. She was sleep-deprived and malnourished. She needed to be in Sick Bay under supervision. "Come on, sugar. We need to get you to Medical."

She gave a shaky smile. "I'm fine, Dr. McCoy, but thank you. I'll take a vitamin boost with breakfast and lay off the coffee for a few days. I'll be fine."

"You've already told me your schedule, remember. You might get twelve hours tonight, but you're working two twelves tomorrow on top of a lecture. It'll be 26 hours between REM cycles. Possibly 27 if you stop to eat, which you probably should." He helped her to her feet. "Let me at least hook you up to a nutrition bag and give you a mild sedative."

"No." She pulled back, swaying on her feet. "I'm fine. I do this anytime I have an important exam." She crashed down against the desk. "I've got plenty of experience dealing with this."

"How many times have you done this?" Bones demanded, reaching out to steady her.

She shrugged, locking her elbows to keep herself upright. "Too many times. Can you lecture me tomorrow, Doctor? I need to get to bed, now."

"Dammit Reya, you agreed to call me Bones." He hauled her up, carrying her over to the bed. "I want you in Medical as soon as you wake up. If you don't show up, I'm going to declare you unfit for duty and have your ass strapped to bed until you're well-fed and well-rested."

"Gee, Doc. I didn't know you were into bondage. Not to mention a food kink and somnophilia? Dirty boy."

"Shut up." He pulled the covers over here. Bones tucked a piece of hair behinds her ear, searching for one last glimpse of those gorgeous green eyes. "Tease me in the morning."

"You won't be here." She mumbled.

Bones watched her drift off, kicking himself in the ass. Berating himself the entire time, he dragged the armchair over to the bed, sending a notice to Nurse Chapel that he wouldn't be in for the rest of the day and settling in for the night. He was going to prove her wrong.

* * *

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	7. The Second Time: Part Three

P.A.D.D.s and bandages went flying as Bones' office door slammed open to reveal a furious Ensign St. Claire, looking for all the world like she wanted nothing more than to slowly strangle him. A harried Nurse Chapel followed her in, apologizing profusely.

"It's alright Chapel." Bones said, waving her off. "We're in Med Bay. If she tries to kill me, you have everything you need to patch me up."

"You heard him. Scram." Reya hissed, tapping her foot angrily as she waited for the door to slip closed behind her. "Computer. Enable soundproofing. Ensign code 1-8-1-5-sierra-delta-2"

Bones arched an eyebrow, leaning back calmly. "Care to explain why you just soundproofed my office?"

"Because the rumor mill has enough grain to keep it in business for a year and I'm not about to drop off another load." Reya slammed her hands on the deck. "Have you been tellin' people about our little bed sheet tango? Because I've had about five people ask me about the size of your cock, and I'm gettin' damn tired of havin' to tell 'em I don't know."

She didn't wait for an answer. Apparently this little rant had been building for a while. Bones was just going to let it flow over him. Stay patient and keep your temper. That's what Spock Prime had told him. He hated the hobgoblin in either form, but lashing out wouldn't do either of them any good.

He tried to think of who could possibly have heard about what happened in the hotel. He hadn't told anyone except Jim, and that was only because he was drunk. There'd been no one in the room, so Jim had to have ran his mouth.

"Are you fuckin' listenin' to me, Bones?" She yelled, slamming her hand down to grab his attention. "Is that what the fuck I am to you? Braggin' rights? You bedded the bitch that broke Roberts' nose when he grabbed her ass? I was a one-night stand you can crow about with your friends?"

That he wasn't expecting. "What? No, goddammit!" He stood up, pacing around the table. "That's not why I-"

"So you have been telling people."

He didn't know what hurt worse, the way she jerked away from him or the betrayal in her eyes. "Reya-"

"Save it, Dr. McCoy." She spit out coldly, heading towards the door. "You got your notch. Now stay the fuck away from me."

"No!" He slammed his hand on the override pad, preventing her from leaving. "I'm sorry-"

"You say that an awful lot, but I don't think you actually know what it means." She pushed his hand away from the pad, but didn't try to leave. Reya was in full rant mode again, jabbing her finger into his chest as she slowly backed him away from the door. "Sorry means you feel remorse. Sorry means you don't intend to do it again. Sorry means you actually give a damn!"

"I do!"

"Bullshit! If you gave a damn you wouldn't have be tellin' half the ship what happened!" She marched back to the door. "I'm serious, Dr. McCoy. I have to work with you, but unless it involves out duties, stay away from me."

"I stayed in your room last night because I gave a damn!" He shouted. "I only told one person because I gave a damn." He crowded her against the door. "I asked for advice because I gave a damn. You're the only one in this goddamn room who doesn't care about what happened that night!"

"I'm not the one who walked out, McCoy."

Bones stepped back, glaring down at her. "But you're the one who hasn't let me explain why."

"Then explain it to me." She demanded. "We got drunk and had sex. I get that part. Happens all the time. Not to me, but it happens. So what the fuck is there to explain? You left, before morning ever hit. That kind of explains it all."

"Like hell it does!" He twisted his hand in her hair, pulling her into a kiss.

It was nothing like the sweet, gentle kiss that started it all. It was hard and passionate. It left no room for something as simple as breathing, which is exactly what he was hoping for. If she was out of breath, she couldn't yell at him. Gasping, he jerked back, laying his forehead against hers. "It doesn't explain why I've been trying to get back in your good graces since that night. I doesn't explain why I can't stand to see anyone, even Sulu or Checkov, touching you, and it sure as hell doesn't explain why I'm standing here, right now, making out like a damn teenager, when I've got patients to see."

Reya stared up at him, breathing heavily. Her eyes still flashed with fury, even as she pulled him back down.

It still happened quickly. Their movements were blurred and frenzied. Clothes only came half-off. Teeth marks and hickeys blossomed wherever they met bare skin. Pain and pleasure blurred as they ripped at each other. It was cruel and angry and as much about venting their mutual frustration as it was about sex.

He kept her against the wall when they finished. "Damn."

"Yeah." She squirmed away, quickly putting on what clothes they'd managed to get off.

Bones stepped up behind her, wrapping his hands around her waist. "Whoa there, darlin'. Where's the fire?"

"I've got to be back on the bridge in ten minutes. I was going to head to the mess hall, but then someone from engineering decided to ask me about you and… well, here we are."

Bones sat back on his desk, watching her pull her red shirt over her head. "So you're walking out this time."

It wasn't a question and they both knew it. She didn't even bother to answer. Reya stopped in front of him, waiting until he met her eyes. "I'm not going to apologize."

"I don't expect you to."

"Yes you do." She crossed her arms, tilting her head up defiantly. "You do because you wanted to apologize, but neither of us have anything to apologize for. This happens. We get drunk. We lose our tempers. Our inhibitions go out the window and we end up like this. It's human nature. I should have realized it before, and the one thing I will apologize for is behaving so immaturely about the situation. It won't happen again."

"The immaturity, or the sex?" Bones asked, standing so that he towered over her. "Because from where I'm standing, you're still being pretty fuckin' immature."

"Why? Because I'm not attaching some big, cosmic meaning to this?"

"Because you're not giving it a chance."

Reya smiled sadly. "This isn't love, Dr. McCoy." She reached up to her neck, running a finger across one of the many red and throbbing marks he'd left there. "This isn't what love looks like, not even in a rough beginning. I learned that lesson a long time ago."

Bones seethed. "I'm not your ex, Reya." She didn't respond. She simply walked out the door. He roared, throwing a P.A.D.D. at the door. "I'm not your ex!"

* * *

Reya narrowed her eyes on the monitor in front of her, quickly translating the string of Androvian transmissions that came across the wire. It was mindless busy work, giving her too much time to think. The marks across her body were quickly fading into bruises, and she could feel their pinch every time she moved.

She did the right thing by walking away. It didn't matter what Spock Prime said. This was a different time. A different future. McCoy had no great, everlasting part in her life. Today had proved that. They were too volatile. Putting them together was like dropping a match into a crate of dynamite and praying it didn't explode.

Sulu sidled up behind her. "Nice love bites." He commented innocently. "A present from our good doctor?"

"Can we talk about this later? Perhaps when we're not on duty?" Reya asked stiffly.

Sulu shrugged, settling next to her. "I'm just asking what everyone else is thinking."

"It's no one else's business."

"Not even if they say they saw you and McCoy coming out of your room at far too early in the morning for it to be professional."

Reya stilled. The rumors hadn't come from Bones running his mouth out all. She simply had nosy neighbors. "Dammit."

Sulu laughed, clapping her on the shoulder. "Thanks for the answers. Parvel will be thrilled."

She sent him an annoyed glare. "Oh you can both go to hell."

"Love you too, Reya."

* * *

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	8. The Third Time: Part One

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, or favorited this story. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.**_

_**Guest One**__**: This really is my first fanfiction. My first published one, at least. I've been writing them in a notebook for the past couple years and never had the courage to post them. Thank you for your assurances about Reya not being a Mary Sue. Everyone on the **__**Enterprise**__**is intelligent and quick, so I had to make Reya fit in with them, but I wanted to make it clear that she was still a junior member of the crew. She's not there to replace Uhura. I wasn't sure if I was able to walk that line.**_

_**Guest Two**__**: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it.**_

_**Huggibunny**__**: Thank you! I'm posting several new chapters now. I hope you like them.**_

_**Authors Note**__**: In case you haven't noticed the update pattern, I only update when I have the next "time" completed. Most of the story is written out already, and only needs some editing (however, I'm only human, so there will still be mistakes), but there are times when I want to change entire sections, so it could be a few days between updates. Just bear with me, please. Thanks again for reading!**_

_**J.M.**_

* * *

The third time happened out of gratitude…

* * *

Reya heard what sounded like a little girl crying when she stepped out of her room. Curious, she followed the sound.

There weren't many children on board. This was the first five-year mission ever attempted. Only the most confident parents had felt comfortable bringing their families with them, and they kept their children in a tightly controlled area of the ship to minimize distractions. It was impossible for anyone but a crew member to leave that area without an escort and special permission from one of the bridge crew.

The sound carried her to a tiny alcove tucked next to the turbolift. In it, she found a small girl, no older than six, in a bright blue dress with dark, curly pigtails. She was curled into a little ball and sobbing. Reya's heart went out to her. "Are you ok, sweetheart?"

The little girl looked up and shook her head, tears streaming from bright hazel eyes. Her tiny, upturned nose was bright red from crying and she was desperately clinging to a miniature blue teddy bear.

"What happened? Is there anything I can do to help you?" Reya asked, kneeling down.

"My daddy told me to stay in his room, but the doors opened. I thought he was coming to get me, and I walked outside, but these big, mean men yelled at me and started chasing me so I ran." She sniffled, breaking into sobs once again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be bad. I just thought my daddy was there. Please. I didn't mean to get in trouble."

Reya nearly started crying herself. "Shh. Shh." She whispered, pulling the little girl into her arms. "You're not in trouble. It was just an accident."

The girl hugged onto Reya like she was her last lifeline in a stormy sea, bawling into her neck. "It's ok, little bit." She murmured, kissing the little girl on top of the head. "You didn't do anything wrong. I promise. Hush your tears. I promise you're not in trouble."

She rocked the little girl until she calmed down, and held on an extra few seconds for good measure. "Do you like chocolate pudding?" Reya asked, tilting the little girl's face up. The child nodded. "Well come on then." Reya stood up, offering her hand down to her. "Let's go get you some chocolate pudding and then I'll help you find your daddy. What's your name?"

The little girl grabbed her hand, giving Reya a watery smile. "I'm Joanna McCoy. My daddy is Leonard McCoy. He's the doctor here."

* * *

Bones rushed into the mess hall, desperately searching for Joanna. He'd been called to Sick Bay for an emergency and had to leave his daughter by herself in his quarters. When he got back and found her gone, he panicked. He'd been searching the ship for an hour.

Seeing her at a corner table with Reya, smiling happily while she ate chocolate pudding, nearly broke him. He strode over to the table. "Joanna Marie McCoy! What are you doing-"

"Dr. McCoy!" Reya interrupted, her voice suspiciously sweet. He looked down at her, catching the warning in her eyes. "Thank goodness you got here so quickly. There was a malfunction with doors on your level and Joanna thought you'd come to get her. Then some overzealous security guards gave her a bit of a fright, and she ended up getting lost. Joanna's been waiting for you."

Reya was still smiling sweetly, but there was an unspoken message in the way she narrowed her eyes. It clearly said: _If you yell at her, I'll gladly neuter you with a rusty scalpel._

Bones breathed out, sitting in the chair next to his daughter. Joanna's face a was mess of chocolate pudding, but she was happy and safe. That was all that mattered. "Sorry, baby girl. You scared me."

"I didn't mean to, Daddy." Joanna murmured, ducking her head.

He pulled her over, kissing her hair. "I know, baby girl. But I'm going to give you a communicator, that way if you ever get lost again, you can call me."

"Can I speak to you for a moment, Dr. McCoy?" Reya asked abruptly, standing and moving from the table. The ensign smiled warmly at Joanna. "I just need to borrow your daddy for a minute, sweetheart. Is that OK?"

"Can I have more chocolate pudding, Ms. Reya?"

Bones laughed, watching Reya melt under his daughter's puppy dog eyes. "I think you've had enough for right now, baby girl." He interrupted, before Reya could cave. "But if you can sit here quietly while Ms. Reya and I talk, I'll take you to see Uncle Jim this afternoon."

"Cool!" Joanna bounced happily in her seat and went back to her pudding.

Reya chuckled, leading Bones far enough away from the table that his daughter wouldn't be able to hear them, but close enough that she was still in direct sight. "How often are you planning on leaving that little girl alone?" Reya hissed, moving to where her back was too Joanna and the little girl couldn't see the anger on her face. It was a dirty trick, because it meant Bones had to keep a straight face so his daughter wouldn't catch onto the fact that something was wrong. "She's six, not sixteen."

"Dammit, woman, don't you think I know that?" Bones said, keeping a tight smile on his face. "But I still have to take care of my duties."

"Then you need to come up with a contingency plan. She's young enough that she needs someone watching her constantly." Reya growled, glaring up at him. "There's a child center on board that would be happy to watch after her."

"I don't know anyone there. I'm not about to trust them with my daughter."

"Then you better tell the captain that you need to be relieved from duty until your daughter goes home, because she needs a parent more than this ship needs a doctor."

Bones stared down at Reya. She had some gall. A week, and she hadn't said a word to him. She hadn't so much as looked at him. She answered direct questions with short, clipped answers and ignored him the rest of the time. Now she was standing here lecturing him on what was best for _his _child.

An evil thought came to mind. She wanted to tell him how to be a parent, then she could be the one to help him. "Or you could watch her."

Reya reared back, glancing over her shoulder quickly. Joanna was still happily slurping down her sugary treat. "Excuse me?"

"You watch her. Just while I'm on duty." Bones repeated.

"In case you've forgotten, I have my own duties to attend to." Reya crossed her arms defensively, drawing herself in. "I can't bring a child onto the bridge any more than you can take one on your rounds."

Bones shrugged, moving to go past her. "Then she's going to have to spend some time alone."

"No! Dammit!" Reya grabbed his arm, stopping him. "You work alpha shift, right?" He nodded. "I'll talk to Commander Spock and get him to assign me to gamma shift. How long will Joanna be here?"

"A month, but I'll only need you to do it for two weeks. I have shore leave for the remaining two weeks."

"You only requested two weeks' worth of shore leave?"

"Starfleet only allows two weeks unless you're docked at your home planet." Bones corrected. "I didn't know that when Jocelyn agreed to let Joanna visit me for a month, and by the time I found out, Jo was already on a transport ship, headed this way."

"Of course." Reya cursed under her breath. "Ok. As long as I can get my hands on a coloring P.A.D.D. and some holovids, I can take her to class with me. I'll meet in you in the mess hall each morning and we can transfer custody there. I'll keep her during alpha shift, and I can help out if there's an emergency during beta shift, but if something happens on gamma shift, you're going to need a back-up plan."

"I'll figure something out." He assured her.

"Is she home-schooled?"

"Yes."

"Ok. I've got a friend back on Earth that teaches primary school. I'll get him to send me some materials so I can help her keep up her studies." Reya pulled a small P.A.D.D. out of her pocket, making a list of everything she'd need to do. "I can't get out of alpha shift today. In fact, I'm already late, but hopefully First Commander Spock will be able to put me on gamma shift by tomorrow. I'll message you after I talk to him to let you know. In the meantime, I suggest you call your Nurse and let her know that you need the day off."

She made a few more notes on her P.A.D.D. and Bones had the uncomfortable feeling that the tables had somehow been turned on him. Trying to keep the upper hand, he stopped her, summoning up his most sincere tone. "Thanks Reya."

She pulled away, and he caught a glimpse of that same, sad smile that she'd given him right before she walked out. "I'm doing this for Joanna."

* * *

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	9. The Third Time: Part Two

Reya led Joanna into the holograph room, punching in the code for a special program Scotty helped her set up last night. A child's wonderland appeared throughout the room. Old Earth toys, books, and costumes spread over every available surface, and a jungle gym sat in the far corner, shiny and unused.

"What do you think?" Reya asked.

Joanna's eyes lit up, and she ran to the dress-up section, rifling through the clothes. "This is awesome! I don't have this many clothes back home!"

Reya blanched. She didn't want to start a war between Bones and his ex-wife about which parent had the best room for Joanna. "Just remember, little bit, these aren't real. They're a hologram created to look and feel real, but they disappear as soon as we leave this room."

Joanna shrugged, pulling out a blue science uniform scaled down to her size. "That's ok. I get to play with them now." She turned around holding the costume up for Reya's inspection. "Can I pretend to be a doctor like Daddy?"

"If you like. You can also be a policeman, or a princess, or you can dress up as a Vulcan or an Orion. It's up to you. If you don't want to do that, we can read, or color. I've got dolls and trucks and spaceships that you can play with, or you can swing and slide and climb on the jungle gym." She checked her watch. "But we've only got two hours. After that, I have to go to class and then you have to do some studying too."

"Ok Ms. Reya." Joanna disappeared behind a dressing screen. "You dress up like an alien and I'll be a doctor and save you."

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

Bones scanned over his patient's chart, shaking his head. The stupid engineer has stuck his hand in a live warp relay. It would take months to regenerate the tissues, and even longer before he regained full dexterity. "Up his dose of pain killers and arrange a transport back to Starfleet Command." He told Nurse Chapel, handing over the chart. "He needs more care than we can give him."

"Yes, doctor."

Bones' comm beeped, and he slapped open the line, already scanning over the next chart. "McCoy here."

"Bones, you need to get up to the bridge. There's something you've got to see."

"Goddammit, Jim. Are we being attacked again?"

"Just get up here, Bones."

He handed the chart off to his nurse and made for the turbolift. Jim had sounded more amused than worried, so they probably weren't in any danger. Still, he wouldn't call him to the bridge for nothing.

A picture of Joanna in Starfleet blue splayed across the viewer as he walked in. Reya was lying on the floor, dressed as on Orion, while Jo ran little toy tricorder over her. "The patient appears to be unconscious." He heard his daughter say, and watched as she dug around in a miniature medical bag. She pulled out a plastic hypospray. "Administering adrenaline."

Jo stuck the toy against Reya's neck. Reya overdramatically gasped to life, eyes going wide and bolting up. Bones chuckled with the rest of the crew at the childish sight.

"Oh you saved me, Dr. McCoy!" Reya exclaimed, clutching her heart. Bones shook his head. She'd never have a career in acting. She grabbed his daughter and dragged her around, peppering Jo's face with loud, smacking kisses. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Jo giggled, wiggling away. "I was a good doctor, huh?"

"You were a great doctor." Reya said, sitting cross-legged. "The best I've ever met."

"Do you think I was as good as Daddy?"

"I think you were better than your daddy."

Jo stood up, carefully putting all the fake medical equipment back in the bag. "I want to be a real doctor one day."

Pride bloomed in Bones' chest. He must be doing something right as a father if his daughter wanted to follow in his footsteps.

Reya pushed a few buttons on the holograph room's wall, and her green skin and red hair faded back to their natural colors. It was odd watching them like this. It felt like spying. "Then you'll be one."

"Will I work on a ship like this one?"

"If you want to."

Jo turned around, staring at Reya in a mix of suspicion and awe. "You keep saying that."

Reya cocked her head to side, moving forward to squat in front of Jo. "Keep saying what?"

"If I want to. Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because if you want to do it, then you can." Reya tucked a finger under Joanna's chin, staring straight into the little girl's eyes. "You're an amazing girl, Joanna. Whatever you want to accomplish in this life, you can do it. It might be hard. It might take a lot of work or making a few sacrifices, but you have the ability to do anything you want, become anything you want. The only person who can stop you is yourself."

Bones could imagine Reya giving that speech to her own son. It was easy to see her kneeling in front of the little blond boy who adorned her walls, her own green eyes staring back at her, assuring him that he'd grow up to be anything he wanted to be. Except, he'd never gotten the chance to grow up, and somehow Reya still found it in herself to keep that bitterness inside and give another child hope. He didn't think he'd have that kind of strength.

Jo's eyes let up and she tackled Reya in a hug. "Thanks Ms. Reya."

The video cut out. Bones looked over to find everyone's eyes trained on him. "What?"

"What do you think?" Jim asked, gesturing to the screen.

"I think Jo and Reya are having fun." Bones drew himself up. He also thought that he was a complete ass for thinking having Reya watch Jo would be a good revenge on the ensign. Reya was a natural mother. Forcing her into a situation where she had to spend hours every day with a child barely older than her own son had been was cruel. "Jim, can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?"

Jim nodded and the two friends walked into the briefing room. Bones started immediately. "Why were you all watching that?"

Jim leaned against the table, crossing his arms over his chest. "Checkov was. The ship's rumor mill passed it along the wire that Reya had Scotty help her create a special holograph sequence. He wanted to see what it was."

"And it evolved into all of you watching one of your comrades and my daughter play dress-up?"

"We're docked at a space station, Bones. Half the crew is one shore leave, the other half is only on board for their shift. We're not moving. We're not exploring. We're bored. And that-" he pointed through the clear doors to wear a new video was playing, "is heartwarming. It boosts morale and gives us all a good laugh."

"My daughter is not your reality TV show!"

"And we don't want her to be!" Jim turned Bones to watch the viewer. Reya and Joanna were sitting on the floor, an old style book in Reya's hands. He recognized that story. _The Man in the Moon _by William Joyce. It had been one his favorites. "But that is good for everyone. That is watching the future be nourished and taught in front of our very eyes. That reminds us why we're out here, so far away from everything we know and love."

"So you spy on your own teammate, on my daughter, so you can feel better." Bones turned around. "That is wrong, Jim. You're invading their privacy. What do you think Reya will say when she finds out about this? You know her! You've talked to her! There are parts of her life that she doesn't want people involved in! And I don't want my daughter's hopes and dreams bandied about for the crew's amusement!"

"Why would she want to hide this? This is something we like about her!"

"She doesn't want to be liked! She wants to be good at her job!"

Jim grinned, leaning back. "And that's the real problem, isn't it. It's not that we're watching them have fun, it because you know Reya will feel like this makes her less competent in our eyes. That she'll somehow feel that this combination of her personal and professional life makes us see her as less than clever, capable communications officer she works so hard to be." He walked to the head of the table, pulling out a P.A.D.D. and handing it to Bones. "The problem with her logic, and your need to protect her, is that knowing she has the ability to care for and empathize with children makes her ideal for many of the peacemaking ventures we go on. Several of the cultures we've ran across put their children in an idealized class, much as humans do, and Ensign St. Claire's natural ability to connect with younger generations is an instant short-cut to understanding and discussion between our two peoples."

Bones scrolled through the profile, watching a short video clip of Reya with the Orion man she'd left with that day at the park. Teckan, the child, was firmly planted in her arms, and the man was listening intently to everything Reya had to say. "I saw her with him."

"Orions value their children above all else. So much that, the second they become pregnant, they biologically produce hormones and pheromones that emotionally bind them to the other parent. I know you know this. You wrote your dissertation on it. Ensign St. Claire's trips to the park has earned the respect of every Orion parent in this station and given us a bit of leeway for the actions of our more rambunctious crew members. Have you noticed that I haven't had to spring a single one of us from a cell here?" Bones nodded. "That's because that man, the head of security for this entire station, was so impressed with St. Claire that he agreed to automatically escort Starfleet personnel back to the enterprise and leave the punishment to us.

"I need to know how far this talent of hers goes, so I know how best to use her. Uhura needs to know so she doesn't feel offended if I ever request St. Claire's presence on an away mission instead of hers. Spock needs to know so he can reason out who would be best for certain tasks. Sulu and Checkov need to know because she is their friend and I don't need them to fight me if I have to take her in a dangerous situation." Jim levelled a cool stare at Bones. "I don't need you to fight me either. St. Claire is a Starfleet employee first and foremost. I have to know I can assign her a task and she'll be able to do it without interference from those who care about her.

"Whether you like it or not, whether she likes it or not, no person on this ship can be judged based on the merits of their job performance alone. No mission of this length has ever been attempted before and I need to know everything about all aspects of my crew's life in order to make sure we all get back alive."

Bones kept scrolling through the P.A.D.D. Reya was going to make a great officer someday. She'd already been requested by several embassies and other starships upon her completion of Academy. Jim had responded with a negative to each request. "I don't like this, Jim. You're trashin' a church and expectin' the priest to smile while you do it."

"Metaphors, Bones." Jim said wearily, rolling his eyes. "We've talked about the metaphors."

"You're invading something meant to be respected and expecting her to accept it as part of her duties to Starfleet." Bones explained. "This is wrong."

"This is the job." Jim didn't waver.

Bones rubbed his forehead. He could feel a migraine forming. "Fine. But you are going to tell her about this, and you need to talk to Jo and ask her permission. Reya may have signed her life over to Starfleet, but Jo sure as hell hasn't."

"You want me to ask permission from a six year-old?"

"I want you to remember that, no matter what else they are, they're still people. They deserve to know that they're being watched."

* * *

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	10. The Third Time: Part Three

**_There's a special Easter Egg in this chapter for the very first person to favorite and follow this story: _****_I-am-Sherlocked-82_****_. I swear I'm not stalking you, but I did check out your profile when I checked on the story and noticed someone had followed it. Thanks, Sherlock! If you have a special request for a story, let me know, and I'll do my best to make it happen._**

**_Huggibunny_****_, as the first user to review (under their username. Sorry guests, but I have no way of knowing if you're really the one who commented) I'm offering you the same deal. If you have a special request, I'll do my best to make it happen. Just PM with your request. That goes for you too, Sherlock._**

* * *

Reya scooped Jo up in her arms, running for the Communications Room. They'd overstayed their time in the holograph rooms. They barely had time to stop by Reya's room and grab a portable holovid player and set of headphones. She skidded to a halt in front of the classroom. "Ok, little bit, I need you to listen very carefully."

Jo cocked her head to the side. "Is something wrong, Ms. Reya?"

"No, baby girl, nothing's wrong. But we're about to go into a place where you have to stay absolutely quiet. Do you understand? There are going to be other people there who are trying to listen and learn and they'll get very upset if they're interrupted." She reached up to tighten on of Jo's pigtails. "I have four movies on that holovid player for you. You can watch any of them that you like, but you have to stay quiet."

"Will we get to play afterwards?"

"I have a communications link set up with one of my friends on earth. He's going to teach you some math and science after we're done here, and then, if we have time, I thought we'd learn a little bit about languages." Reya gave a wry smile. "It's all I'm really good at."

"Ok. I think my daddy has some medicine books. If I bring one tomorrow, will you teach me about that instead?"

"Absolutely." Reya took a deep breath, punching in her code. "Are you ready?" Jo nodded. "Then let's go."

* * *

"Ok, Joanna, now, using what I just taught you, what would be the answer to 13x4?"

Jo used the stylus to write the problem out on her P.A.D.D. in large, childish scrawl while Reya looked on in amazement. She'd still been struggling through basic subtraction at six, and here Jo was doing multiplication like it was nothing. "52?"

"Exactly!" Romeo beamed from the small screen. "Ok. I think that's it for today. We'll continue with multiplication tomorrow and after that, you'll have to start trusting Ms. Reya. The materials I suggested should have been beamed to the space station by then."

"Are you sure you can't keep doing this?" Reya asked. "You know me. I'm terrible at math."

"It's basic multiplication and division. You'll be fine, Reya." Romeo beamed. "It's good to see you, by the way. Your video messages are few and far between."

"It's a busy life aboard the good ship _Enterprise_." Reya joked. "How's Mom?"

"The same as ever. You know her. There's always someone who needs saving."

"Yep. That sounds like Mom. Give her lots of hugs and kisses from me and tell her that I'm safe and happy." Reya grinned, blowing a kiss at him. "I've got to go. It took a lot of begging to get this link. I'm not supposed to be using it for personal matters."

"Ok, sunshine. I'll see you tomorrow." Romeo returned the blown kiss and the screen went dark.

Reya had rearranged her room, sitting out any pillow she could find or borrow on the floor to make a comfortable space for Jo to sit. A slew of software discs sat in a neat pile by the makeshift seating area, just waiting for Jo to finish with Romeo's lesson.

"Ok, little bit. I have Spanish, German, French, Russian, Cantonese, Mandarin, and Thai, as well as Orion and Andorian. What would you like to start learning?" Reya asked. It seemed that Earth linguistics would be best to start out with, since their pronunciations were easier for native Earthlings. Still, she wasn't going to deny Jo the chance to learn an alien language if she wanted.

Jo picked up the discs, reading the promotional labels on each one. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Reya started, dropping the P.A.D.D. she'd gotten out to help show Jo how to interpret pronunciation symbols. "What?"

"My teacher. Mr. Cochran. Is he your boyfriend?"

Reya laughed, a little relieved. She didn't know why, but for some reason she'd been afraid that Jo was asking if her father was Reya's boyfriend. "No, Joanna, Mr. Cochran isn't my boyfriend. He's like a brother to me."

"But you don't have the same last name."

"That's because Romeo's not actually my brother. I just love him like one." Reya settled down in front of Jo, mindlessly taking the German disc that was handed to her. "The home he grew up in was really bad for him, and he was my friend, so my mother and father took him in when he was twelve. We practically grew up together. Besides," Reya grinned, "he's madly in love with his husband and wife. He couldn't be my boyfriend even if I didn't see him as my brother."

Jo nodded. "My aunt has two husbands. Mommy says there was a time that people thought that was wrong, but Aunt Julie and Uncle Brad and Uncle Ethan really love each other."

"People used to believe a lot of different things, Joanna." Reya watched the upload screen, desperately wishing it would go faster. This was not a discussion she wanted to have. That could be Bones' job. "A lot of it was just because they didn't understand. That's why it's so important that we continually keep learning, no matter how old we get. Knowledge brings understanding and compassion." The upload screen morphed into the beginning stages of German and Reya breathed out a silent sigh of relief. "Ok, little bit, her we go. We're going to start with vocabulary. I want you to pick out the picture of the shirt." Jo pointed to it. "Ok, now try to pronounce the words under it."

"Himd?" Jo sounded out slowly.

"Good try. But try looking at it this way." Reya pulled up the P.A.D.D., scribbling out the phonetic spelling. "What you do you see that's different?"

"There's a –t at the end!"

"That's right. What else?"

"What's that weird –e?"

Reya circled the pronunciation key Ɛ, enlarging it. "That means that the –e in _hemd_ should be pronounced like –e in bet. So, for the word _hemd_ we replace the –d with a –t, then change the simple –e to something like –eh." Reya made the necessary revisions, rewriting the word as _hehmt_. "Try to pronounce it now."

Jo said it perfectly, and Reya beamed. "That's great, little bit!" Reya pulled up the beginner's vocabulary list. "Now we just have to do that with all these words."

Joanna's eyes widened and huge smile broke across her face. "Cool."

* * *

Bones strolled into Reya's quarters. She'd programmed his code in so that he didn't need to ask for permission anymore. Not as long as she was watching Jo, at least. Reya was sitting in her armchair, calm as can be. "Where's Jo?"

"In the bathroom, I think." Reya said calmly, not bothering to glance up from whatever she was doing on her laptop.

Bones flushed with anger. "You think? You're supposed to be watching her."

Reya caught his eyes, jerking her head backwards slightly and bringing her finger up to her lips, and he felt all the tension drain out of him. Jo was just hiding, waiting to pop out and scare her daddy. Reya was trying to play along.

Bones walked over to the bathroom, pretending not to see Jo's legs sticking out from the pile of pillow stacked in the corner. "Jo? Are you in here?" He called, poking his head into the surprisingly messy room. "Where are you, baby girl?"

"Rawr!" Jo jumped out from the pillows and grabbed onto his legs. He jerked back, pretending to be scared. "Ha! I got you, Daddy! Did you see that Ms. Reya? I got him!"

Reya laughed, picking Jo up. "You certainly did, little bit. Great job!"

Bones reached out, pulling his daughter over to him and hugging her tightly. "I missed you today. Did you have fun with Ms. Reya?"

"Sie trägt ein blaues hemd. Reya trägt ein rotes hemd. Ich trage ein gelbes kleid." Jo rattled off.

He blinked down at his daughter. "What?"

"You're wearing a blue shirt. Reya is wearing a red shirt. I'm wearing a yellow dress." Jo translated, looking over to Reya for confirmation. "Did I say it right?"

"You said it well enough for someone who only started learning today." Reya said, laughing. A look up at Bones' confused face made her feel guilty. "Sorry. I don't have the materials I need for her schooling yet, so I started teaching her German. Is that OK?"

"That's fine." He glanced down at his daughter, who was wiggling in his arms. "Why German?"

Reya shrugged, laughing as Joanna got tired of waiting for her father to put her down and jumped from him to the bed. "I just offered up every language disc I had and asked her to pick one. She chose German."

"That's not all we did today, Daddy!" Jo said, jumping on the bed. "We played dress-up and read stories and Reya pushed me on a swing. Then Reya had to go to class, and I got to watch this old movie with talking cats, then her brother, Mr. Cochran, taught me how to multiply, except he's not really her brother, she just loves him like a brother. And, oh! Can Ms. Reya come eat dinner with us? You said you'd take me to that cool place with the pizza and games!"

Bones looked over at Reya. "Your brother?"

"Remember that friend I have on Earth that teaches primary school?" Bones nodded. "Him. Long story short, my parents took him in when we were young, so I call him my brother."

"Ah." Bones looked over at his daughter. Jo was doing somersaults on the bed, giggling as she tumbled over. "What do you think about coming to dinner with us?"

Reya walked away, starting to gather up the various toys and crafts Jo had played with throughout the day. "I think its daddy/daughter time." She murmured, keeping her voice low enough that Jo couldn't hear her. Speaking a little louder, she straightened up. "Besides, I feel a barn owl come morning, and I've got to work tonight."

Jo pouted for a moment, hopping off the bed. "Really, Ms. Reya?"

Bones watched Reya kneel down, tightening his daughters pigtails and helping her put on the backpack he'd packed that morning. "I'm sorry, little bit, but we'll see each other tomorrow. If you're really good, I'll even take you to a real park so you can play with some other kids."

"Awesome!" Jo ran over to her father, waiting to take his hand.

He smiled gratefully at Reya, so glad she instinctually knew what was going on. He'd really wanted tonight to be just him and Jo. It was supposed to be a chance for them to catch up and have fun together. He'd never tell Jo no if she really wanted someone else to come, but Reya had effectively taken away that option by saying she needed to sleep. He pulled her into a hug, kissing her head. "Thanks." He muttered gruffly, keeping her tucked under his chin. "Thank you."

Reya pulled back, and he nearly cursed. He was getting damn tired of that sad smile. "I'm doing this for Jo."

* * *

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	11. The Third Time: Part Four

Bones moved around the ship, unable to believe he was about to ask the damn hobgoblin for help. He was really getting desperate.

Reya had agreed to work straight through, no shifts off, in exchange for getting switched to Gamma shift for two weeks. Tonight would be her first night off, and her only night off since the communications officer that was supposed to cover usual days off came down with measles, of all things. This would be his only chance for three more weeks to get her alone, and he couldn't find a damn babysitter.

Jim was busy. He didn't trust Carol. Hikaru and Pavel were enjoying their weekly date night, and Uhura had only agreed if Spock agreed too. Which was why he was now searching the damn green-blooded hybrid out. He wasn't in his quarters, on the bridge, or in the mess hall. The only other place he could be was the science lab.

"There you are!" Bones breathed a sigh of relief, spotting the First Commander near a nest of alien vegetation they'd picked up on their last planet. "You're harder to find than Waldo."

"I was unaware you were searching for me." Spock replied calmly, detaching a leaf and carefully setting it on a dissecting tray. "Is there a problem, Dr. McCoy?"

Bones fidgeted. _Reya._ He reminded himself. _You're trying to say thank you to Reya._ "How do you feel about children?"

Spock froze, glancing up at Bones warily. "You are not here on behalf of Nyota, are you?"

"What? No." He didn't even want to think about the implications of that statement. "No. Just, as a general topic, how do you feel about children?"

"Logically, they are necessary for the continuation of our populace. Aside from that, I have not spent enough time around those of the new generation to form a succinct opinion."

"Would you like to?"

"Excuse me, Dr. McCoy?"

Bones sucked in a deep breath. Time to lay all the cards on the table and pray Spock had a losing hand. "I need someone to watch Jo tonight. It'll be late, hopefully, when I leave, so she should already be asleep. I just need someone to stay in the room with her. Everyone is busy except for you and Nyota, and she'll only do it if you agree to do it with her."

"So there will be no actual interaction with the young Joanna?"

"There shouldn't be."

"Then your insinuation that watching over your child will help me to better form an opinion of them is illogical. I can hardly form an opinion of a sleeping girl." Spock turned back to his plant, carefully detaching a thin slice.

Bones blinked. "Is that a no?"

"Not necessarily."

"Dammit, man! I'm a doctor, not a mind-reader!" Bones drew in a deep breath. Getting irritated wouldn't win him any points. "What compromise would entice you into a positive response?"

Spock placed the slice of plant onto a slide, adding a drop of coloring to better examine the cell structure. "As of late, Nyota has mentioned that her age and the maximum age at which her species can reproduce is drawing ever closer together."

"Her clock's tickin'. Got it."

"I am unsure as to whether or not I would make a suitable parent, and have been attempting to delay giving her an answer until I have reached a conclusion." Spock turned to Bones, spearing him with a level stare. "It occurs to me that spending time with your child in would help me to reach said conclusion, but only if Joanna is awake and active throughout our encounter."

Bones held up a hand. "Give me second. Let me see if I've got this right, Nyota wants to have kids." Spock nodded. "But you're not sure if you'll be a good dad."

"That is the general situation, yes."

"So you'd like to babysit my daughter, while she's active and her normal cheery, happy self, so you can judge whether or not you're meant for parenthood?"

"Precisely."

"You realize that having your own kids is completely different from watching someone else's, right?"

"This would only be part of a multi-test experiment, of course. I would also need to spend time around infants, toddlers, and teenagers, as well as question both Nyota's parents and my father about the general behavior of children in our bloodlines."

"Oh good green Earth." Bones shook his head. Leave it to Spock to approach preparing for parenthood as an experiment. "Ok, say I agree to this. Obviously, I have rules for Joanna. Things like what she can and can't eat, the types of holovids and books she can access, and a bedtime."

"I would respect those rules, of course. Joanna is, after all, you're child. I am merely attempting to discover whether or not I have the capability of connecting with such a highly illogical creature, as any child I produce with Nyota would be only one quarter Vulcan."

"Right." Bones said slowly. "So if I move the time Reya and I leave up to say, 1600 hours, would that be acceptable? You'd have four and a half hours before Joanna's bedtime."

"Reya? You are attempting to go on a date with Ensign St. Claire? I was under the impression you already shared an established relationship with her."

Bones groaned and contemplated banging his head against the nearest wall. "It's not a date. It's a thank-you since she's been helping watch after Jo the past couple weeks."

"And what will this thank-you consist of?"

"Dinner. Dancing. Maybe some time at an observation deck."

"Pardon me for pointing this out, Doctor, but those are all actions one would engage in on a date."

"Dammit, man! Will you babysit or not?"

"I will." Spock said, turning back to his microscope. "Just ensure that Ensign St. Claire is fit for duty tomorrow morning. Nyota and I are taking our shore leave, and Ms. St. Claire will be the primary communications officer for the next week."

"Got it. Thank you, Spock."

"Dr. McCoy." Bones stopped on his way out the door. "When I say fit for duty, I also mean that there should be no contusions visible above the collar of her uniform. It is highly unprofessional."

His cheeks were burning as he headed down the hall. Damn green-blooded hobgoblin.

* * *

Reya pulled off her uniform and stretched, reveling in the freedom from the heavy synthetic wool. Popping the uniform in the laundry chute, she dug out some of her civilian clothes, quickly pulling on her favorite pair of blue jeans. She'd just grabbed a t-shirt out of her closet when she heard the doors slide open.

"Hi Pavel!" She said brightly, pulling the shirt over her head. The young Russian had promised to be by after he changed into his own civvies. The poor guy was probably blushing in embarrassment, even if all he'd seen was her the back of her bra. "I've warned you to knock."

"Not Checkov, darlin'."

Reya swirled around. Bones was leaning against the door, staring at her like she was the only glass of water for 30 miles and he was a very thirsty man. Heat crept up her face and she knew she probably looked like a tomato. "You should probably knock, too."

"I didn't think I'd catch you gettin' dressed."

Reya shivered. He practically purred the words, his eyes still watching her like he was imagining taking her clothes right back off. She scrambled to the far side of her desk. There was this irrational need to put something, anything, between them, and the desk served that purpose nicely. "Is there something wrong? Do I need to watch Jo for a bit?"

He shook his head, stalking toward her, a feral smile in place. "Spock and Nyota are watching her tonight."

"Do you need something translated?"

"Nope."

She stepped back, bringing a P.A.D.D. up in front of her as if the small electronic device could somehow ward him off. "Then what are you doing in my room?"

Bones stopped a few feet away. He hated to admit it, but he liked unsettling her. She'd been throwing him off-balance since day one. A little payback was good for the soul. "To say thank you."

Reya relaxed, lowering the P.A.D.D. "I've already told you-"

"You did it for Joanna." He interrupted. "I know. That doesn't mean you don't deserve some gratitude."

He took a few steps forward and the P.A.D.D. came back up. She had the uncomfortable feeling that he was a predator and she was prey, and this prey was going to fight, dammit! "Okie dokie. Got it. I'm thanked. You're welcome. If you don't leave now, I'm going to panic and start singing the Barney song."

He stopped short, staring at her as if she were some new and interesting alien… right before he doubled over laughing. "The Barney song?"

"You know, that old Earth kid's show. There was a big, purple dinosaur, and a bunch of teenagers pretending to be younger, and it had that annoyingly catchy version of 'This Old Man', except it was 'I love you. You love me. We're a happy family.' Any of this ringing a bell?"

"I know the show. I'm just wondering why the hell you'd pick that."

"I was flustered! It was the first thing that popped into my head!"

Bones' eyes virtually sparkled with mirth and she could still feel his chest vibrating with restrained laughter as he reached out and pulled her against him. "Have dinner with me." He murmured, nudging his nose against hers. "Let me give you a proper thank-you."

"That would be a really bad idea."

"No it wouldn't."

"Oh yes it would. We're talking Tesla and the earthquake machine bad. We're talking Christie's flying tank bad."

"You're talking nonsense." He slid his lips across her cheek. "Have dinner with me. Just the two of us. Joanna has a babysitter. You have free time." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I have a reservation. We're both adults. There's no reason you shouldn't."

Reya closed her eyes. She wanted to. God, she wanted to, and no matter how many times she reminded herself of dynamite and matches, she still wanted to. "What time?"

"1700." He pulled away, keeping his hands on her hips. That would give her some extra time to get ready and let him beg Nyota for help as well. "That gives you two hours to get ready. Is that enough time?"

She nodded, pulling his hands away. "Plenty of time. Any clue how I should dress?"

Bones grabbed her personal P.A.D.D. and scribbled a name on it. "Ask Pavel or Hikaru about this place. They'll know exactly how to describe what the dress code is like." The doors swished open and Checkov came strolling in, stopping abruptly when he saw the way Reya and Bones were standing together. Reya immediately dropped the doctor's hands, blushing profusely. Bones laughed, planting a kiss on her forehead. "Speak of the devil. See, you don't even have to search him out."

Pavel glanced between them, confused. "I am lost. Should Reya be searching for me? Have I been involved in a children's game again? I did not like tag. Joanna spent as much time crashing into me as she did actually tagging me."

Bones laughed, clapping Checkov on the shoulder as he passed. "I'll let Reya explain it." He punched in the exit code, glancing over his shoulder. "I'll be back in two hours, Ms. St. Claire. Be ready."

Checkov waited until the doors closed behind Bones. "You have date with Dr. McCoy! I thought you did not wish to, how you say, make beast with two backs any longer."

Reya flushed to the roots of her hair. She'd had to explain about Bones after that last time, and she'd regretted it ever since. Hikaru never missed a chance to tease her about the numerous, clever (in her opinion) euphemisms she'd came up with for sex, and Pavel had taken to using them himself. It was a constant reminder that she was an awkward, repressed 25 year-old woman with more glib than guts. "It's not a date. It's…" Pavel stared at her expectantly. "I have no friggin' clue what it is, but can you help me pick something to wear?"

"Me? But I know nothing about fashion!"

"Well neither do I! I'm still wearing Romeo's hand-me-down shirts!" She sat on the edge of her desk. "What about Hikaru?"

Pavel shook his head. "Hikaru is more fashion challenged than I am."

"Dammit!"

He thought for a minute, running through the men and women on the ship until a light bulb dinged. "Hold on. I will get Lt. Marcus."

* * *

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	12. The Third Time: Part Five

Bones heard Reya yelling as soon as he stepped off the lift. The sound inexplicably made him smile. Probably because she wasn't yelling at him for once.

"Dammit, woman! I am not wearing this… this… scrap!"

"You asked for help. This is the only suitable thing I could find in your closet. Everything else looks like something my grandmother would wear." A calm, accented female voice replied. Bones smiled. Reya had called Carol for help.

"Look, Lt. Marcus. I agreed to the make-up; I agreed to the hair, but I am not wearing this!"

"Then why do you have it?"

"It was a gift from my mother!"

"Your mother bought you this?"

He heard scuffling and could imagine Reya shifting around, face flaming. "She thought I needed a more modern wardrobe."

"Well your mother was right."

"Just wear it, Reya." He heard Sulu say. It was amazing that he and Checkov were still there. Bones figured they would have left for their own date by now. "You look good."

"I look exposed."

"It's not that short."

"It stops two inches below my ass!"

"Six." Bones heard someone moving around, and then heard Sulu again. "It's perfectly respectable. I've seen admirals at Starfleet banquets wear shorter dresses. You're just a prude."

"I'm modest." Reya groused. "Not a prude."

"Wear the dress." Checkov interjected this time. "You look beautiful, and Dr. McCoy will certainly enjoy it."

"That's what I've been saying!" Carol added, and he could imagine Jim's girlfriend throwing her hands up in exasperation. "She just doesn't want to listen! And she's too short to wear anything that Nyota or I might have."

"I'm not that short!"

"I've seen your personnel file, Rey." Sulu was grinning. Bones could hear it in his voice. "You're 160 cm. That's 5'3" by imperial standards. You're short."

"Bite me."

"I thought Leonard preferred doing that to you."

"Marcus!"

"What? Oh come on, everyone saw the hickeys. It's not like either one of you did a great job hiding them."

"Thank you, Lt. Marcus." Bones struggled not to laugh. Reya's dry sarcasm was so pronounced that he knew she had crossed her arms and was sending her superior and squinty-eyed glare. "As if I didn't know that particular bounce of the pogo stick wasn't already common knowledge, now we're apparently comfortable enough to make jokes about it! That's it! I'm changing. The Dear Abby's of this ship have enough information on my personal life. I don't need them to see me dressin' like a saloon girl on top of it!"

And there was his cue to enter. Bones punched in his authorization code, watching the door slide open. Reya was already halfway to the bathroom.

He didn't know what to think. She looked… damn. Carol had done something with makeup that made Reya's green eyes look twice as big, even as she'd toned down her lips to a more a neutral pink. She was wearing a pair of black heels that, quite frankly, looked painful, but gave her an extra three inches in height. The black and green cocktail dress was showed much more skin than he was used to seeing on her, but it accentuated her tiny waist and generous chest. The silver locket and set of small silver hoops were her only accessories, and Carol had put her hair up in a high, curly ponytail held by a small, silver clasp.

She made him feel underdressed. Somehow the all black ensemble that Uhura insisted looked wonderful seemed more like funeral attire.

Reya froze, eyes going wide in panic, when she saw him standing there. "You're early."

He glanced at his watch. It was 1650. Technically, she was right, but he didn't think ten minutes should count. "Not by much."

"I'm not ready."

"Yes she is." Carol hopped up from her place on the desk, stuffing Reya's Starfleet issue trench coat into her arms and pushing the startled ensign towards Bones. "Don't listen to her. She's completely ready." She pushed them out the door. "Have fun. Play nice. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

"Wait! Are you just going to stay in my-" The doors closed. "Room." Reya finished lamely shaking her head. "They're in my room. Some woman I barely know is camped out in my room with Pavel and Hikaru."

"They're probably just waiting for us to go." He took the coat from Reya, holding it out for her to step into. "For the record, you don't need this."

"Is that your way of saying you like what you see?" Reya asked. She closed the coat and tied it, effectively covering everything from mid-calf to her neck.

He cupped her cheek in his palm. He didn't know when it hit him, but somewhere along the way he'd realized a lot of her anger and attitude was just a way to cover up how timid she actually was. The same way his grouchiness was just a way to cover how much actually worried and scared him. "Yeah. It is. I like what I see when you're in civvies too. And when you're in your uniform."

"Does that mean I can go change into blue jeans and we can just grab some cheap burgers?"

Bones laughed, dragging her towards him. "Not a chance in hell, darlin'. Tonight is me, you, and a restaurant that serves something besides replicated pizza and sandwiches."

"What if I like replicated pizza and sandwiches?"

He tucked her under his arm and led her to the lift. "Then I know where to take you next time."

* * *

Reya hated the restaurant. She truly hated it.

There was no reason for her to hate it. By most people's standards, she should be in awe of all the gilding, silver, and fine linen. It was posh and beautiful and everything most women wish for when they're being taken out to dinner.

But it obviously catered to the high society of the station, and, no matter how Carol had dressed her, she was not high society. She was whiskey, beer, blue jeans, and jazz. She preferred tacos over lobster and if you gave her the choice between a nightclub or a dive bar, she'd pick the dive bar every time. Worst of all, this was the kind of place where people came to see and be seen, and Reya hated being seen by anything over four feet tall.

She tried to smile and pretend like everything was perfect, but she could feel the eyes of strangers sticking to the back of her neck. She knew they were silently judging everything from the state of her posture to the way she'd ordered a bourbon, like Bones, instead of the more gender acceptable wine. It was driving her nuts.

"Ok, darlin', enough." Bones said, snapping her out of her thoughts. "What's wrong?"

Reya tried to fake a smile as she took a careful sip of her drink, wincing when she saw the lipstick marks she left on the glass. "Nothing. Everything's great."

"No. It's not." He leaned forward, and she managed to focus on him for a few seconds. He was wearing a black suit with a black shirt and a black and green striped tie. It looked classic, comfortable, and made his hazel eyes shine brighter than ever. Hazel eyes that were currently studying her as if she were an insect pinned to a display board. "You're quiet, you're stiff, and if you sat up any straighter I'd think you had a ruler taped to your spine. So what's wrong?"

Reya sighed, slouching a little before remembering where she was and pulling herself back into perfect posture position. "It's this place." She murmured, keeping her eyes on the amber liquid in her glass. "It's gorgeous, but it's one of those places that's so formal you feel like you're sitting down to dinner with a hostile dignitary. One foot out of line and it's off with your head."

"Oh thank goodness." Reya snapped her eyes up. Bones reached out and covered her hand with his. "I thought I was the only one who thought it was daunting. I've been tryin' to pretend to fit in, but I can feel them staring."

"Like they're poppin' out their eyeballs and stickin' them over your shoulder, just waiting for you to screw up?"

"Exactly." He sipped at his drink. "I swear I didn't know it would be like this when I made the reservation."

Reya laughed, settling into a more comfortable position. It occurred to her that she shouldn't give a damn what any of these strangers thought. Tonight was supposed to be about her and Bones, not her, Bones, and everyone who was so bored with their own company they had to spy on them instead. "Wait? You made a reservation without checking out the restaurant?"

"Jim said it was a great place. Apparently, Carol loves it here."

"I'm beginning to think Carol and I don't have much in common."

"Probably not." Bones conceded. "I should have thought of that before I decided on this place."

Reya glanced from side-to-side. She had a wonderfully, wicked idea. They were going to go have dinner their way, in quiet comfort. "It's not too late to fix it."

"What do you have in mind?"

"There's a nice place three levels down. Somewhere in-between an Olive Garden and this stuffy show."

"So classy, but comfortable."

"Exactly." She smiled brightly. "It has its own observation deck, and some of the best tortellini alfredo I've ever tasted."

Bones grinned, catching on quickly. "I'll pay the bill. You go get our coats."

* * *

Bones picked up a cannoli, biting through the crunchy shell and into the sweet, chilled cream and bitter chocolate chips. He and Reya ordered a plate of three. Originally, he was going to let her have the last one, but now that he'd tasted them he didn't think he could be that generous.

Reya had relaxed as soon as they left the other restaurant. He physically felt the tension drain from her shoulders as they moved further and further away from that pompous monstrosity. By the time they reached this place, she was back to arguing, doing silly impressions, and cracking bad jokes. The one about the ostrich and thanksgiving dinner had been the worst, but there was something charming about a woman willing to make such a terrible, terrible pun.

He reached for the last cannoli, only to have Reya slap his hand with a fork. "Hey!"

"Uh-uh. Agree to share or I'll run away with it."

Bones narrowed his eyes on her. She was using her fork as a makeshift barricade between him and the cannoli. "Reya, don't you know you're not supposed to keep a southern boy away from his sweets?"

"Leonard, don't you know you're not supposed to challenge a southern gal when it comes to chocolate?" The saccharine smile told him all he needed to know. She wasn't giving up the cannoli without a fight. "I'll cut in equal halves." She coaxed, picking up her knife. "But you have to share."

"Or you could let me have that one and we'll order more."

"No way! I'm not going to be able to eat more than half anyway!" She sliced through the cannoli before he could protest. "Besides, you already ate all of your chicken parmesan and finished off my tortellini."

"I'm a big guy! I need more food than you." Bones protested, happily taking his half after Reya snatched her portion away. "It's not my fault you eat like a bird."

"I don't eat like a bird! I just knew I'd want the cannoli and didn't want to fill up." She hummed happily as she bit into the crispy treat. A bit of the cream squished out and decorated the corner of her mouth, and she cheerfully liked it off.

He grinned. He'd gotten so used to women who cared so much about how they looked and acted, who thought that if they did more than pick at their food he'd think they were a glutton, that it was refreshing to see her enjoy her food without inhibitions. Many of the diets the women he'd actually tried to date subscribed to kept them from eating anything more than dry salad, never mind dessert. They sure as hell wouldn't have ordered an overly sweet mocha coffee after the meal either.

Then there was Reya, simple and honest, eating and drinking what she liked. It probably hadn't even occurred to her to think about calories or carbs. "How did you find this restaurant?"

"This is where Hikaru and Pavel decided I should be for that blind date." She set the cannoli down long enough to take a sip of her coffee. "That was obviously a horrible idea, but the restaurant itself is great." She gestured across the patio, encompassing the view of the stars they were treated to. "I don't think there's any other place on this station that can offer such an amazing view."

Bones looked at her, at the way the soft lights and stars dipped across her features, as if they were caressing every curve and hollow, and decided that they could be back in that gilded eyesore and he'd still have the best view in the station. Stars didn't compare to the shade of spring grass brightening her eyes or the way her lipstick had faded and allowed her natural red to return. He coughed, making his own stomach churn with the sappy thoughts. "I do still need to say thank-you. You've been working yourself to the bone lately."

Reya smiled. "Joanna was worth it. You've got a great kid, Bones. She's smart and kind and she's got a wonderful imagination. And she idolizes her daddy."

"I wouldn't go that far." Bones' heart swelled with pride though.

"Every day we played dress-up, and every day she wanted to be a doctor, 'like daddy', and get to save someone. She thinks you're Superman with a scalpel." Reya pointed out, finishing off the last of her desert. She settled back in her chair, slowly sipping her coffee.

She was content, Bones realized with envy. She'd been to hell and back, but she was content. She had good friends, a job she enjoyed, and the ability to live her life with one foot in the past, one foot in the present, and her heart ever hopeful for a better future. "How do you do it, Reya?"

The words spilled out before he could think about them, but he wasn't going to take them back. He needed to know. He'd been mired in so much bitterness over his divorce that he'd lumped every woman in the same category as Jocelyn. How many women that he'd used for sex could have turned out to be just as amazing as the person across from him, and he'd been so full of hatred that he'd never even attempted to see it? Why did he see it with her? Why was he always pulled back to her, even when he tried to walk away? She was like an itch just under his skin. He'd scratched and scratched, trying to make it go away, and it just came back stronger than ever.

"How do I do what?"

"You've lived through every parent's worst nightmare, twice, but you don't let it jade you. How do you do that?"

She sat forward, resting her elbows on the table. "Who says I'm not jaded, Bones? If you think that, then you're wrong, because I'm very jaded.

"I think marriage is a crock of shit and, while I still believe in love, I don't believe that it's this all-consuming thing that lasts a lifetime. I'm never going to be a mother again. I know that in my soul, because I'm never going to be able to get over Zach's death and no child needs to be brought into the world with their big brother's ghost hanging over them. I'm never going to be a wife again because I'm never going to trust anyone enough to make a life-long commitment to them. And yes, trust is more important than love. I loved Allan, even after we separated. But I sure as hell didn't trust him, and I don't think I'll ever truly trust anyone again.

"So I am jaded. I'm bitter and angry and there are times that it all seems so pointless that I consider chucking myself out an airlock. Then I remember that there is so much more to life than love and parenthood. I remember that I have a mother and brother back on Earth that still need me. I remember the way Pavel and Hikaru cared enough about me to try to set me up with Scotty, even if he was the worst person they could possibly pick. I remember the smiles on Teckan and Joanna and all the children's faces when I read to them, and how they need someone, anyone, to come in and help them escape to these magical worlds that most adults are too busy to introduce them to, and I remember why I've got to keep living.

"What you see isn't a lack of cynicism. It's remembering that, no matter how much the dark things try to consume me, there are still bright spots trying to break through, and fighting to find them."

"Then you're not jaded, Reya." Bones reached forward, twining their fingers together and remembering his bad joke about Vulcan sex that very first night. "If you still have that hope, that optimism, then you're not jaded."

Green eyes, damp with unshed tears, stared back at him. "Whatever you say, Doc."

* * *

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	13. The Third Time: Part Six

**_I don't know if what I wrote in this chapter technically counts as more graphic than what I've written before, but it certainly made me blush more while I was writing it, so I thought I'd warn you, just in case._**

* * *

He hated that his quarters were closer to the station than hers. His mother had taught him to walk a lady to the door, but Reya insisted he get back to Joanna as soon as possible. When she pointed out that Spock and Nyota, neither of whom had much experience with children, we're probably going nuts by now, he had to agree. So she was walking him to his door instead.

"Sorry about the first restaurant." He said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Reya grinned up at him. "Thanks for taking me to the second."

Bones brought a hand up, rubbing his thumb over her lip. "That was a thank-you. Now I'm going to kiss you, and it doesn't have a damn thing to do with Joanna or gratitude, do you understand?"

She stretched onto the tips of her toes, pressing her lips against his. He could still taste the coffee and cannoli on her tongue. It combined with something that was purely Reya. He'd been addicted to that taste since the first night.

"Joanna! No! Wait for them to come in!" Nyota's voice broke through and he quickly set Reya back.

Apparently, Nyota's order hadn't worked, because the doors hissed open to reveal his daughter, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Daddy! You're back! Did you have fun?"

Bones laughed, picking his daughter up and settling her on his hip. "I certainly did. But it's past your bedtime." He glared over at Spock. "I thought you said you'd respect the rules."

"Your daughter has a hypnotic stare that entranced me into allowing her request to wait for your arrival."

"In other words, she gave him the puppy-dog eyes and he folded like a cheap suit." Nyota translated, laughing.

Spock shot his girlfriend and exasperated look. "You too folded, as you say, otherwise Joanna would not still be awake."

"Yeah. I did." Nyota admitted cheerily. "I'm not trying to blame it on hypnosis though."

"Uh-huh. What other rules did her puppy-dog eyes get her around?"

"She had six Oreos instead of three and we allowed her to watch a horror movie."

"It was Casper, not a horror movie, and it was in the approved pile." Nyota corrected. "So really, just the Oreos, but Spock had never had them before, and he and Joanna were having so much fun trying to see who could lick off the filling first that I didn't have the heart to stop them."

"I won four out of six times. That means I won two thirds of the time, right Ms. Nyota?"

"I still contend that the time you scraped the filling off with your teeth counts as forfeiture." Spock droned. Bones nearly had a heart attack when he realized there was actually _humor_ dancing in the hobgoblin's eyes.

Nyota grinned, taking Joanna from Bones and giving her a kiss on the head. "Don't listen to him, cutie. He's just a sore loser." She glanced up at Bones and Reya still standing in the doorway. "We're going to let you two do the honors of bedtime. Spock, say good-bye to Joanna."

"Good-bye, Joanna." Spock intoned formally.

Joanna was having none of it. She lunged from Nyota to Spock, giving the Vulcan a tight hug. "It's not good-bye, it's good night." She lectured, her voice as serious as a six year-old's could get. "Good-bye means I won't ever see you again, but you promised to teach me all about plants tomorrow."

Spock seemed frozen in place. Nyota was still half-holding Joanna because Spock hadn't brought his hands up to catch her. Finally, he seemed to process what was going on, and hugged the little girl as tightly as she was hugging him. "Your logic is sound. Good night, then, Joanna, and pleasant dreams."

Jo planted a wet kiss on Spock's cheek and wriggled down, running back to her father. "Good night, Mr. Spock. Good night, Ms. Nyota. Sweet dreams."

Bones handed Joanna to Reya and quietly asked her if she'd read her a story. Reya headed off to the back bedroom. "Nyota, can I have a minute with your boyfriend?"

"Sure. Just give him back in one piece." The ebony beauty smiled, patting Bones' arms as she passed by.

He waited until she was a good distance down the hall before he turned to Spock. He held up a hand so that the Vulcan wouldn't start spewing some lengthy explanation as to how his experiment had fared. "No, Spock, just no. Let me appeal to your human side right now." Bones waited until he was sure Spock was listening. "I don't know what your doubts are, but I know what I just saw. You're going to make a spectacular father and you and Nyota are going to have frighteningly brilliant children. Screw the experiment and trust me on this."

Spock cocked his head to the side. "How can you be so assured of my capabilities as a parent?"

Bones grinned, looking through the open door to where Reya was reading to Joanna. "Because you fell for the puppy-dog eyes." He clapped Spock on the shoulder, moving toward his daughter. "Good night, Spock. Call and let me know when you want to start teaching Jo about plants."

* * *

"She fell asleep quickly." Reya remarked with a smile, carefully closing the bedroom door behind her. One of the benefits of being a CMO meant that Bones was assigned a two-bedroom suite, and a bathroom twice the size of her own.

Bones nodded, pulling her over to the couch and sitting down, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "It's about two hours past her bedtime, so it doesn't surprise me."

She snuggled closer. She could hear his heart beating and loved the steady _thump-thump-thump_. "Speaking of which, I need to get back to my room and go to bed. Alpha shift starts at 0600 sharp."

He tilted her head up, brushing a kiss across her lips. "You don't want to go home."

She smiled, leaning in for another. "Not really."

"Then don't." He murmured, teasing her. He kept himself a hairsbreadth away, waiting for her to complete the connection, but he was impatient. Giving in he leaned down, sipping at her lips.

Reya grinned into the kiss. Straightening up for better access, the kiss deepened. When they broke apart to breathe, Reya nibbled her way down his throat, nipping gently at the pulse point. Bones gasped, pulling her into his lap. Biting at her bottom lip, he worked her dress up her thighs until she could comfortably straddle him. Reya rocked against him, humming her approval.

They made out like teenagers, on the couch, fully clothed. Finally, Reya pulled back, slowly loosening his tie and pulling it over his head. "Do you trust me?" She asked, unbuttoning the top of his shirt and kissing the newly exposed skin.

Bones growled, pulling her back up for a kiss. "Why?"

She gave him a shy smile, blushing slightly. She couldn't blame this on alcohol or anger. This was all her. Her choices, her decisions, and she'd have to live with them when it was all said and done. "There was something you did… that first night." She glanced down meaningfully, unable to make herself say exactly what she was referring to. "I'd like to return the favor."

Bones' eyes widened in understanding, and gave her another kiss. Breaking away, he waited until she opened her eyes. "You don't have to." He assured her, watching those bright, honest eyes for any signs of fear. "I don't expect you to."

"I want to." She replied, and he could tell she was nervous. There was that glint of unyielding determination though, so he sucked on her bottom lip, folded his arms behind his head, and let her do what she wanted.

It seemed to take forever. She took the time to explore every inch of skin uncovered, sucking and biting a thousand small bruises for the simple pleasure of hearing his sharp gasps and low groans. When she finally made it to her destination, he was ready to tell her forget it and just take her to the bedroom instead. Then she took him in her mouth.

It was like being on an observation deck at warp nine. His eyes crossed and everything blurred. All he saw was shooting stars and streaks of lightening as he bloodied his palms with his own nails in an effort not to grab her. He wanted it to last forever, and at the same time he wanted it to stop. It was a relief and a curse when he finally reached his release.

It took him a few minutes of heavy breathing to realize that Reya was still on her knees in front of him, head bowed. Struggling to sit up, he tilted her head back. The fear and uncertainty in her eyes almost made him laugh. As if anything like that could be anything less than spectacular.

"I should go." She whispered, trying to duck her head again.

Bones could feel the heat from the blush staining her cheeks against his palm. Wordlessly, shook his head, helped her up, and lead her into the bedroom.

* * *

"Daddy? Ms. Reya?" Bones blinked his eyes open, aware first of the warm body molding itself against him, then of the little girl standing by the edge of his bed, staring at him with wide hazel eyes.

"Crap!" He jerked up, pulling Reya and the sheet with him. "Listen, baby girl. I'm so sorry. This isn't-"

"Why are you sorry?" Joanna asked innocently, still in her nightgown, little blue teddy bear dangling from her fingers.

Reya popped her eyes opened, realized what was happening, and promptly burrowed under the covers to hide. Bones sent a glare at the lump next to him for abandoning him in his time of need. "Well, you see baby girl, when two people like each other very much, they-"

"Sleep in the same bed together and give each other kisses and sometimes those kisses can lead to babies." Joanne rattled off. "I know. I just don't know why you're sorry. Is it a bad that you like Ms. Reya?"

"Do you think it's a bad thing?"

"No. I have a step-daddy now, and he's nice, but he's not as nice as Ms. Reya. If you like her, then she can be my step-mommy and then I'll have a Mommy and a Daddy no matter where I am."

Bones froze, switching between his daughter and the little ball under the covers that was oddly still. "You know what, baby girl, why don't you go pick out your clothes and we'll talk about this during breakfast, ok?"

"Ok Daddy." Joanna reached up and gave her father a kiss on the cheek before skipping out of the room. Fortunately, she closed the door behind her.

Reya wriggled up from her linen sanctuary as soon as she heard the door click. Bones felt fear tighten around his heart when he saw the stricken look on her face. "Reya…"

"No, Bones." She stopped him, scrambling out of the bed and into her dress from last night. "Just no. I can't talk about this right now."

"She's just a kid, Reya. She doesn't know what she's saying. It doesn't have to be like that."

"You're a father, Bones." Reya stopped struggling with the zipper, opting to slide her coat on instead. "No matter what else there is, you're a father. And I can't be a mother. Not anymore."

"Reya-"

"Just… please Bones." She knelt on the bed, taking his face between his hands and kissing him deeply. It felt like good-bye to them both. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I'm still going to be here, Reya." He murmured, leaning his forehead against her chest. "When you realize you're just running scared, I'll still be right here."

He felt hot tears hit the top of his head just before she kissed his hair. "Don't be. For both our sakes."

* * *

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	14. The Fourth Time: Part One

**_Thank you to all the new favorites and followers! I appreciate the support. To all those that have reviewed, I'll reply in my next update. I share a computer and I've almost overran my allotted time. Just know that I read them all and you guys boost my spirits and keep me going._**

**_J.M._**

**_P.S. Because of time constraints, I didn't do my normal run-through, so there might be even more mistakes than usual. Sorry._**

* * *

The fourth time happened because of jealousy…

* * *

Bones grunted as Sulu pinned him to the mat once again. They were only using practice blades, but the jabs and thrusts he'd been receiving from the fencing master made him think that maybe, just maybe, Hikaru wished they were working with live steel instead. Of course, the pure loathing in the man's eyes could have something to do with that as well.

"And now you're dead." Sulu droned, his voice unemotional. "Again."

"Dammit, man! I'm a doctor, not a weapons expert!" Bones grunted out struggling to his feet.

"And yet you still go on away missions, so this training is necessary." Sulu kicked Bones' blade over to him. "Again."

Bones growled, rushing at the navigator and swinging with all his might. Sulu parried his swing, and with four quick jabs, had Bones disarmed and back on the mat. Bones glowered up at someone he'd considered his friend. That thwack to his arm had been unnecessary and purely to cause pain. "Again."

"That's enough, Lt. Sulu." Jim shouted, ambling up to the duo. "Or do you really think he's going to learn anything by you continually knocking him on his ass."

"I'm hoping he'll learn to block, Captain." Hikaru stared Jim down, and Bones got the feeling this was about something much more than Sulu's questionable training techniques.

Jim sighed, running a hand through his short, blond hair. "Go wait in my office, Lt. Sulu. We'll discuss this further in private."

Sulu nodded stiffly, walking from the gym. Shaking his head, Kirk reached down and lifted Bones to his feet. "Sorry about that. He's been a little testy lately."

"Any idea why I'm the one who gets to be his punching bag?"

Jim looked at Bones in shock. "Scotty was right. Your head really is up your ass."

"Maybe I could pull it out if someone would just tell me what the hell is going on!" Bones cursed, throwing his practice blade at the wall. "Everyone except you and Carol are either pissed at me, trying to kill me, or think I'm a damn fool. And I must be because I have no idea what the hell is going on!"

"Ensign St. Claire requested a transfer."

Bones sat down heavily. "She what?"

"Apparently Spock Prime requested her from Starfleet for his personal assistant at the New Vulcan embassy. They asked her. She said yes." Jim leveled a stare at Bones. "I said no, and then I called Spock Prime and ripped him a new one for trying to steal one of my best communications officers." He settled next to McCoy on the mat. "I can't keep her here if he decides to push it, Bones. He's too important."

Bones didn't respond. He was too busy trying to wrap his head around the fact that Reya had actually agreed to go. Yes, things had been tense the last few months. She wasn't necessarily avoiding him, but she wasn't friendly either. She acted like nothing had happened between them. He was just another stranger. Was that really enough to make her move on?

It had to be more than that. She wouldn't just be leaving him. She'd be leaving Pavel and Hikaru and Scotty too. She'd be leaving the quiet, comfortable life she'd built for herself on the _Enterprise._ If she was going back to Earth, he could understand, but she wasn't. She was trying to leave for New Vulcan, a desert wasteland with more canyons than people.

Jim nudged his friend warily. "What happened Bones? I'm not asking as you captain, but as your friend. You won't talk about it. St. Claire won't talk about it. We're all trying to understand because one day you've both got stars in your eyes and she's treating Jo like she was her own kid, and the next it's so icy between the two of you that I could make snowballs."

Bones ran a hand through his hair, hanging his head between his knees. Shakily, he started to tell the whole, terrible tale. He didn't leave anything out, from that night at the hotel to the explosion in his office and finally, that goddamned morning when he thought he'd finally been making progress, and one innocent statement sent her running.

It was probably the longest Jim had ever been quiet. Sitting there, listening to his friend, he couldn't think of anything to say. There was no witty joke, no cocky assurance, that could even begin to put a dent in the shitstorm this was. "Damn."

"I told her I'd still be here." Bones slammed his fist into the mat. "I told her I'd wait. I was trying to listen to that fucking hobgoblin and be patient, and now he's trying to drag her off to a goddamned desert."

"And she agreed to go." Jim pointed out. "Spock Prime isn't entirely to blame. He made the offer, but she tried to accept it." He stood up, offering a hand down to McCoy. "Have you talked to her at all since that night?"

"I can't get her alone to talk to her. If she's not on the bridge then she's in class or studying with Spock or with Checkov, Sulu, or Scotty. The few times I know she's had free time, she ended up being called to the away team since Nyota's on desk duty until she delivers."

"That was your call, by the way."

Bones nodded, gripping Jim's wrist to stand. "And one I'd make again. I can't tell you why, but she needs to stay on desk duty and she'll need to be on bed rest for the last trimester."

"Doctor-patient confidentiality?"

"Yep."

Jim frowned for a moment, thinking carefully. "You know, Cupcake was worried about St. Claire having only basic training in weapons and hand-to-hand combat."

"Thank you, Jim. That makes me feel so much better about her beaming down to hostile alien planets."

"Only one was hostile and Cupcake protected her." Jim grinned. "And Cupcake, being the big-hearted softy we all know and love, has been training her personally."

Bones' hands tightened into fists. Cupcake was no a big-hearted softy. Cupcake was a space-age Lothario. "Your point?"

"Their scheduled training time is now. I might be able to arrange a slight diversion. Something that will get Cupcake up to the bridge for, I don't know, fifteen minutes? Not long enough for them to cancel their session, but long enough for you to get those few minutes you need to talk her out of leaving." Jim clapped a hand on Bones' shoulder. "Why don't I head to my office and take care of your Sulu problem, then I'll suddenly need a revision on Cupcake's rotation sheet. You go take a shower and by the time you're out, Reya should be here alone."

"What if someone else comes in the gym?"

"Let me handle that. You just keep that ensign from scratching my eyes out when she realizes that I denied her transfer request."

* * *

Cupcake's hand slid a little too far south and Reya quickly jabbed her elbow into his ribs. Rolling away, she hopped to her feet, balancing on her heels like he'd taught her. It made it easier to duck and dodge.

The big security officer laughed, rubbing his side. "You're getting better."

"You're getting handsy." She hissed back. Cupcake had seemed nice enough at first. She'd be forever grateful that he stunned that spitting lizard that tried to poison her, but lately their training session seemed more like he was engaging in one-sided foreplay instead of teaching her how to defend herself. It made her skin crawl.

Cupcake just grinned, quickly darting toward her. He was surprisingly agile for such a mountain, but Reya was slight and small and had practice at diving to the side and driving her heel into someone's knee. It brought her opponent down immediately. She jumped to her feet and slammed her fist toward the exposed nape of his neck, stopping and inch or so above the skin. "I think I just beat you, Cupcake."

He hopped to his feet, wincing slightly as he put weight on the knee she'd kicked. "That you did. Now you just have to remember to do that in the middle of a fight." He bent his knee. "I'm going to have to start wearing pads."

Cupcake's communicator buzzed to life, and the Kirk came on over the line. There was something wrong with the security officer's duty roster. "I'll be back in a couple minutes." He said, closing the line. "Just wait here. I'll teach you how to sense if someone is moving up behind you next."

Reya nodded, watching him go with no small amount of relief. She needed to find someone else to train her. Hikaru would be nice, but he was better with weapons than hand-to-hand and she detested the thought of actually killing someone. Awkwardly, she grabbed a practice sword someone has left on the floor, and tried to emulate some of the fencing moves she's seen Sulu use.

A soft rustle alerted her to someone behind her, and she swirled around ,sword outstretched. The point found itself brushing against Bones' Adam's apple.

He threw his hands in the air. "Whoa, darlin'. I come in peace."

Reya dropped the sword, blushing slightly. "Sorry, Dr. McCoy. You startled me."

She tried not to focus on how his smile dropped at the formal address. He didn't understand, but she was trying to do the right thing. Before he was a doctor or a Starfleet officer, he was a father, and anyone he was involved with had to be willing to be a parent. She wasn't. She couldn't be. Zach's death still haunted her and always would. There was no possible way she could be parent one child while the ghost of another hung over her. "Is there something I can help you with?"

He straightened his shoulders. "Actually, we do need to talk about something."

"And that would be?"

"Your transfer."

Reya froze, cursing. Of course Kirk would tell his friend about the transfer. Even if he hadn't, new would have gotten out. This ship was its own small town. Everyone knew everything thing about everybody. She'd just hoped the transfer would be approved and she'd be on her way to New Vulcan before McCoy found out. "What about it?"

"First of all, it was denied." Bones let that sink in for a moment, watching for any signs about whether the news upset or elated her. She remained blank. "Second, I'm here to ask- you know what? To hell with this." He started toward Reya, trapping her against a wall. "I'm not going to stand here and pretend to be your lawyer, not your lover." He captured her face between his palms, running his thumbs across her cheeks. "You can't leave, Reya."

"It's a good job, Dr. McCoy."

"Fetchin' coffee and answering mail?" A little tremor of victory worked its way up his spine when he realized she wasn't fighting to get away. "You're better than that."

"It's a lot more than that, and you know it." Reya unconsciously tilted her head to the side, her body instinctively seeking out more contact.

Bones smiled, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers. "No, it's not. Even if it is, you know it's nothing like what you can do here. There are entire planets that have never been seen. Languages that you can be the first to discover. New Vulcan can't offer you that."

She gave a wry smile. "You don't give a damn about new languages, Bones."

"No." He whispered. "But I'll say anything to get you to stay."

"Anything?"

"Reya, I'd dance naked through the bridge if it got you to stay."

She laughed, tilting her head back as far as she could. "As much as I'd love to see the look on Spock's face if you did that, that's not what I'm going to ask you to do." Her hands moved up his chest, coming to a rest just below his shoulders. "I'll stay, and I'll even try to be a bit less…"

"Frigid?"

"Formal," she corrected, "with you, but you have to stop this." Reya pushed him back slowly, creating a couple feet of space between them. "No more using touch and seduction to get your way. No more calling yourself my lover, because we've only frolicked in the cornfield three times, and we can never do it again. And, please, _please_, no more of this."

"What's 'this'?"

She ducked her head, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks. "No more singing the devotion song. You've got to stop thinking of me as someone you'd 'dance naked through the bridge' for. I can be your colleague. I can be your friend. I can't be more than that."

Bones scowled, trapping her hands against his chest. "I'll be your friend, Reya, and I'll stop mentioning out mattress mambos. It might kill me, but I can even stop myself from holding you. But you can't ask me to stop feeling the way I do."

"Then I can't stay."

He growled, stomping away. Drawing in deep breaths, he turned to face her. "I can't stop feeling this way, but I can hide it. How about that?"

She peered up at him, her heart splintering "This is going to destroy us, isn't it?"

"Probably."

"And you're willing to take that chance?"

He reached out to tuck that little bit of hair that never stayed in her braid behind her ear. It took all of his self-control to pull himself back. "I'd answer that, but you told me to stop singing the devotion song."

* * *

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	15. The Fourth Time: Part Two

Reya laughed, snuggling under Scotty's arm. The engineer had stopped by with a bottle of booze, popcorn, and a holovid collection of _American Horror Story_. The series was spooky and gave her chills, but Scotty's running commentary kept her giggling through the whole thing. Then again, it could be the alcohol.

"Oh come on, ye daft child! O' course you don't go in the basement! Bad things always happen in the basement!" Scotty threw popcorn through the picture, sending Reya into another fit of giggles. He grinned, looking down at her. "See, sunshine? I tol' you this would be more fun than you sitting in here and moping."

Reya reached over, grabbing some popcorn from the bowl he was hoarding. "I wasn't moping. I just needed some time alone." She munched on the buttery kernels, inordinately pleased that he knew better than to try to pass dry popcorn off as an appropriate movie snack. "You know, my brother calls me sunshine, too."

"Aye. I know. I walked in when his message was ending the other day." He crunched into another handful of the salty treat. "Why does he call you that?"

"It's a play on my name. Reya. Ray of. Ray of sunshine. Sunshine."

He chuckled. "I knew there was a reason I liked it. From now on, you are Ensign Sunshine."

"Call me that in public and I'll kick your ass."

"Doctor Leonard McCoy requesting entrance." The computer announced.

Reya flinched. As part of his attempt to be her friend, Bones had started stopping by when he knew she was in. They'd make awkward small talk, they'd force some laughter, and her heart would break a little more. "Should I let him in?"

Scotty shrugged, hugging her a little tighter. "If you want to, but he's no' getting my spot. You're my cuddle-buddy tonight."

She shook her head, pushing up. "Allow entrance." She said up to the speaker. Looking at Scotty, she shrugged slightly. "I can't do that to him, doll."

He settled back into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. "He's still no' getting my spot."

Bones wandered in, that same awkward smile on his face. "Evenin' Reya. Scotty. I thought you did your movie night with Checkov and Sulu?"

Reya pulled the armchair over for him to sit in. She and Scotty were sitting on the floor in front of her bed. "Tonight wasn't planned. Scotty stopped by and I couldn't resist the popcorn."

"Or the whiskey." Scotty held up the bottle, shaking it at Bones. "The whiskey's good to."

"The whiskey was just a perk." Reya joked, settling back into her spot next to the engineer. "I mainly wanted the popcorn."

"I'm sure." Bones was still standing just behind the holovid player. "Am I allowed to join you?"

"No. I dragged the chair over so you can look at it." Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe she was just tired of everything being so tense, but she was done with this masochistic little game they'd been playing. She couldn't let him back in her bed, but she could let him be a real part of her life. "Sit down, Bones. Watch the horror unfold instead of providing the black backdrop."

Bones sat stiffly in the chair, casting the occasional glare towards Scotty. "What are we watching?"

"_American Horror Story._ Think of every bad horror plot you've ever heard of and combine it with decent actors and you've essentially got this TV show."

"Blasphemy child!" Scotty bopped her on the top of the head. "How dare ye malign this series with such vicious lies!" He leaned over her to look at Bones. "Doonna listen to her, Doctor. It's a great show."

"He'll find out for himself." Reya pushed Scotty back, grabbing the popcorn and setting it on the bed behind her head to make it accessible to all of them. Bones was still rigid in the chair, and Reya tapped his knee. "Crack a smile, Doc. You're watching movies with friends, not gettin' your teeth pulled."

Bones gave a brittle smile, still bolt up in the chair. She rolled her eyes, settling back against the bed. Scotty threw his arm around her, and they settled into an uncomfortable silence.

She never should have let him in. This had been fun. She'd been relaxed and happy. Watching holovids, munching on popcorn, taking the occasional sip of booze, all with the calming presence of a friend who didn't want to dig into whatever was going on between her and Bones. She loved Hikaru and Pavel, but if the navigators asked her what happened one more time, she was going to smack them.

Maybe that was a benefit of Scotty being so much older. He came across as eccentric and exuberant, but he was also observant and thoughtful. She knew she could go to him when she needed some peace and he'd give it to her.

"How was your day, Reya?" Bones broke into her thoughts. Peeping over, she saw he'd finally sat back, though he still looked like he was sucking on lemons.

"It was fine." She nudged a little closer to Scotty, already missing his warmth. She was a cuddler by nature. Snuggled close to someone, sharing warmth and feeling the simple comfort another person offered was better to her than drugs. "I intercepted a transmission from the Romulan Empire. One of their mining vessels blipped out not to far from here. Jim said we're heading that way tomorrow. How about you?"

"A few cases of the flu, someone who nearly chopped off his arm while training with a sword, and space sickness from one of the security staff." He rattled off. "The usual."

"Not exactly a bad thing. The usual means no one's dying at least." She grabbed the whiskey bottle and one of the plastic cups that Scotty had brought. Pouring a small amount, she held it out to Bones. "Care for a drink?"

He took the glass, swirling the amber liquid around. "Are you sure you want me to drink? Remember what happened last time?"

Reya blushed to the roots of her hair while Scotty shot a glare at Bones. "If I remember right, you said some awfully hurtful things to Ensign Sunshine, so ,no, maybe you shouldna drink."

"Stop it, Scotty." She pushed on the engineer's side. "I said some hurtful things as well. Leave it be."

"He started it."

"And we're not in kindergarten." She sent Bones an apologetic smile. "Leave it be."

"If you say so, lass." Scotty poured a bit more alcohol and pulled Reya flush against his side.

Bones growled low in his throat, swallowing back his alcohol. "I'm going to go."

Reya sighed, standing up to walk him out. "Sorry, Doc."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He assured her as she pressed the exit pad. "I just…"

"I know." She smiled sadly. "Someday we'll be past this. Good night, Dr. McCoy."

"Good night, Reya." He brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Jim paced down to engineering, grinding his teeth. He didn't know what game his chief engineer was playing, but he was tired of it.

Bones had been in his quarters three nights in a row, complaining about Scotty and drinking heavily. Scotty was in Reya's room until far too late. Scotty sat with her on the bridge, listening to her rattle on about Freznian syntax. Scotty put his arm around her during supper. Scotty made her laugh. Scotty friggin' looked at her. It was maddening.

All Jim wanted to do was explore the universe in his silver lady. Preferably with the command team he currently had, but if this spiteful little competition didn't stop, either Bones or Scotty would be transferred. Or both, and Reya too for good measure. He'd ship them all to New Vulcan and let Spock Prime deal with it.

"Mr. Scott!" He called, striding into engineering. "I need to speak with you! Now!"

"Over here, Captain!" Scotty waved a wrench from where he was fortifying a circuit system. "What can I do for you?"

"You can tell me what the hell is going on between you and Ensign St. Claire so that I can either call Bones a drama queen or give him a phaser to shoot you with." Jim snarled, sitting on the pipe Scotty was working on.

The Scotsman grinned, wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. "I'm getting to 'im then? Good."

"You're trying to piss him off?"

"I'm trying to make him jealous." Scotty ducked back under the metal cover. "Maybe if I can get him good an' riled up, he'll make things right with Little Reya."

Jim furrowed his brow. "I thought things were OK between them."

"Och. Open your eyes, Jimbo. If they're OK then I'm a pony." He scooted out from under the cover. "They can't so much as look at each other properly. They just pretend to keep the peace."

"And making him jealous will fix it?"

"Making him jealous will make him do something aboot it." Scotty hit the pipe with a wrench. "It has the added benefit of making Ensign Sunshine squirm as well."

Jim laughed, throwing his head back. "Ensign Sunshine?"

"Doona tell her I told you that."

"Why do you want to make her squirm?" Jim leaned forward. "I thought she was your friend."

"She is. But she's also an idiot. If I can't get the good doctor to crack, then my back up plan is to get Reya to fix it."

"An idiot? St. Claire? Are we talking about the same girl?"

"Aye. She's brilliant with languages, doona misunderstand, but she as bright as a burned out bulb when it comes to her own heart." Scotty hopped to his feet, brushing his hands on his pants. "So, is he a drama queen, or do I get shot?"

Jim gave a mischievous grin. "Neither. I'm going to talk to Carol, then I'm going to help."

* * *

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	16. The Fourth Time: Part Three

Reya ducked into an alcove near the turbo-lift, breathing heavily. There was no escape. The command team had lost their ever-lovin' minds. They were all _flirting_, even Pavel and Hikaru. Even Spock. And if it was just a little teasing on the bridge then she'd be fine with it, but no. It was everywhere. Everywhere she turned, someone else was there.

Sometimes it was Jim with one of his cocky grins and blatant innuendoes. Sometimes it was Spock and Nyota, constantly touching her. It would seem innocent if she didn't know how sensitive Vulcans were to touch, and how fully Nyota had embraced her boyfriend's culture. Or there'd be Pavel and Hikaru, again with the touching. They'd never been touchy before. Ever. They gave her hugs, they didn't mind them all squishing onto the small couch in Pavel's rooms, but they weren't the type to blatantly grab at parts of her body that shouldn't be grabbed at.

The only person who didn't seem to be in on it was Bones, and that's only because of the rules she'd laid out.

She heard footsteps and pressed herself back against the wall, praying that whoever was coming wasn't looking for her. She squeezed her eyes closed, reverting to the flawed childhood logic of _if I can't see them, then they can't see me_.

"Reya?"

She cursed, peeking her eyes open. It was Bones. "Oh thank god." Reya sagged against the wall. "I thought you were someone else."

"Who?"

"Anyone I know on this damn vessel." She mumbled.

Bones shook his head. "I'm goin' out on limb and guessin' that you've noticed their preening." She nodded as he pulled her out of the alcove, tucking her under his arm. "Come on. I'll walk you to your room and beat 'em off as we go."

Reya relaxed against his side. She couldn't say or do anything to make them stop. They were her friends, yes, but they were also her superiors. She had no right to command. Technically, she could probably report them to Starfleet headquarters for harassment, but she couldn't shake this feeling, deep in her gut, that there was something more going on here. Something she just wasn't quite picking up on.

None of it made sense. Hikaru and Pavel were monogamous, as were Spock and Nyota. Jim was openly polyamorous, but Carol was not, and, from what she'd heard, he'd been respectful of that for the entire year that they'd been together. She wasn't Scotty's type, or she hadn't been before last week. So why were they all suddenly so interested in trifling with her? The answer was there, just out of her reach. She couldn't help but feel that if she just opened her eyes a little more, she'd find it.

Scotty was waiting by her door, and she muffled a groan in Bones' shoulder. He heard the shuddering sound and narrowed his gaze on the insufferable engineer. "Not tonight, Mr. Scott. Reya and I are going to watch a movie."

Scotty grinned wickedly, pulling Reya into his arms. "That's fine, Dr. McCoy. Just let me say goodnight to my little ray of sunshine."

With that, he sealed his lips over hers. Reya froze, unsure what to do. Her instincts warred, screaming at her to punch him and reminding her that she shouldn't hurt her friends at the same time. Bones growled, jerking her away and solving the problem for her.

He pushed her behind him, bearing down on Scotty. "She's not _your_ anything, Scott." Bones grabbed the Scotsman by the scruff of his neck, pushing him down the hallway. "Stay the hell away from her or I'll report you to Captain Kirk for sexual assault."

Scotty raised his hands, still grinning. "Who's is she then?"

Reya felt rage boil in her stomach, and she pushed her way around Bones. "I'm not a possession. I don't _belong_ to anyone. If that's the damn game you and your friends are playing, trying to see who can _possess_ me, then you can all keep your distance. I've got better things to do than waste my time with a bunch of controlling, grasping misogynists."

Bones punched in her access code, shaking with rage. "Get inside, Reya. He's got the message. And I've got a hypospray and access to lethal drugs if he doesn't."

Reya stormed inside. She was quaking, trembling with anger and fury. She thought she'd had respect here. She'd thought she had proved herself, her worth and her talent. And after all that, she was just a prize in some stupid competition. She'd been used to help them prove their dominance over each other. It was disgusting.

Bones came up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. She swung around, beating on his chest. "We're you in on it to? Are you part of their sick fucking game? Do you think that by doing as I say, by acting the exact opposite of them, that you'll be the one to win?"

"What? No!" He grabbed her wrists, his eyes blazing down at her. "No, Reya. I'm not involved in this."

"Bullshit! You're all in on it!" She jerked, trying to free her hands. "Every single one of you! The people who were supposed to be my friends! My family away from Earth! I cared about you!"

"Dammit, Reya! Look at me!" He let go of her hands, pressing his fingers along her scalp to make her eyes meet his. "Look at me! I am not a part of this!" He swiped at the tears she hadn't even known she'd been shedding. "I am not a part of this."

"Don't lie to me, Bones." She broke into tears, so filled with pain and rage without any other outlet. "Do not lie to me."

Bones picked her up, carrying her over to the bed and cradling her in his lap. His body vibrated with repressed wrath. Her friends had betrayed her. His friends had hoodwinked him. Scotty had fucking kissed her. He had not outlet either. He couldn't shout or scream or cry. He couldn't beat on something. All he could do was try to make this easier on her. "I'm not lying, Reya. I have no part in this."

She sobbed against his chest, and his already splintered heart broke a little more. "Hush now." He murmured, kissing her hair. "Hush darlin'. You're killing me with these tears."

Slowly, she drew in deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. "Why would they do this?"

"I don't know, Reya." He held her closer. Bones had missed the feel of her in his arms. He didn't want to let her go yet. "But I'll figure it out."

"Don't." She whispered harshly, pushing up. "I'm done with it. I'm done with them. I'll do my job and that's the end of it." She blinked at him, her eyes tear-stained and bloodshot. "Don't worry about me, Bones."

He tried to just see her, but he couldn't. He wanted to be able to simply comfort her, but he couldn't. He looked into those green eyes and, at the same time he saw the depression settling over her, he saw Scotty mauling those red, full lips that haunted his dreams. He had to erase that image.

Some part of him expected to get slugged. Another part expected this to be her breaking point, the thing that would finally push her into actively fighting for a transfer. Instead, when he mashed his mouth to hers, she kissed back.

He poured all the loneliness he'd suffered over the past few weeks into the kiss, fully aware that this would probably be the last time he ever got to kiss her. She twisted up, straddling his lap and pushing him backwards onto the bed. He clutched onto her hips, keeping her against him.

"You don't belong to them." He gasped out, rolling them over and pinning her to the bed. Bones sucked a hickey under her jaw, marking her for all the world to see. "You can't belong to them." He drew her tops over her head, grateful that she preferred sports bras to anything with a clasp. "You will never belong to them." He jerked her pants and boots off, and quickly stripped himself. "You're already mine." He grunted, thrusting into her, memorizing the way her back arched.

He took his time, watching every tiny shiver, listening for every moan. This would have to last him a lifetime, because this would be the last straw. She'd leave after tonight, and, no matter how much he hated them right now, the people he was responsible for were here. It could have been minutes or hours before he climaxed, he didn't know, but he curled around her afterwards in an attempt to make this final night continue. "You're already mine and I'm already yours."

She buried her face against his chest, trying to get closer. "Stay here tonight." She murmured. "Please, stay with me tonight."

"I'll stay for as long as you want, Reya." He whispered into her hair. "I'll stay forever."

* * *

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	17. The Fifth Time: Part One

_**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, or favorited this story. Sorry about the length and style of the last section. I was working on borrowed time.**_

_**I-am-Sherlocked-82: No need to thank me. You were the first to show support for this story. The Easter Egg was just a thank you. And of course there will be a happy ending. We can't leave Bones grumpy and lonely forever.**_

_**Guest 3: It takes two days for guest reviews to post. Sorry about that, but it's not my rules. I'm glad you like the story. Thank you, very much, for taking the time to review.**_

_**Guest 4: I'm not a big fan of the 5x+1 format either, but when I sat down and plotted out what I actually wanted to do with the story, it seemed like that best option. I'm glad you gave it a chance, and even happier that you like it. Thank you so much.**_

_**Guest 5: I've lost a child myself, though under different circumstances than Reya (obviously), so it makes it easier to understand how she reacts and handles children. Spock and Bones are always so tense in the movies (and Bones even comes across as a bit prejudiced in the show), I thought a moment that would allow the two to bond, and perhaps even set Bones up as a source of advice for Spock in the future, needed to be added. I don't know about the scene being hot, but it certainly felt more explicit than anything I've written before. Then again, maybe I just have a graphic imagination. Lol. Thank you for reading. I'm so glad you like it.**_

_**Huggibunny: I'll take your word for it. To be honest, I don't really think when I write all this. I just pretend I'm watching a movie in my head and write what I see. Afterwards, I check through to correct any glaringly obvious mistakes and rearrange or add information, then pray it all makes sense. Thank you for reading though. And my offer still stands, for you and Sherlock. If you have a story suggestion, message me and I'll make it happen.**_

_**Author's Note: **__** Italics=Romulan.**_

* * *

The fifth time happened because of fear and relief…

* * *

The alarm blared through Reya's room, jerking her awake. Groggily, she shoved at Bones, waking him enough to hear their call to action, before crawling out of bed. She winced as she felt the stickiness between her thighs. They hadn't thought to use protection. She'd have to stop by medical and get the Plan B shot.

Stumbling into the bathroom, she cleaned up and quickly slipped into a fresh a uniform. Bones was waiting for her when she came out. "Don't you want to change into some clean clothes?"

"No time." He held up his communicator. "Jim called. We found the mining vessel. No signs of life aboard. We've been summoned for the away team."

"Wonderful."

He stopped her before she hit the exit pad. "Darlin', about earlier…"

She smiled grimly. "I don't have to like them to work with them."

"I didn't mean about that."

"Oh. Oh!" Her eyes widened in understanding. "That. We're OK, if that's what you mean."

"We are?"

She shook her head, pressing on the exit pad. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Bones. If you want to talk about it later, we can, but right now we have to go investigate a Romulan mining vessel."

* * *

Reya stepped from the transport point in cargo bay hesitantly, phaser at the ready. She was in the back, as solid wall of Cupcake, Kirk, and Spock blocking her view was Bones and Sulu inched along beside her. Nonetheless, a foreboding chill raced up her spine.

Something was very wrong on this ship. The power was out and the very shadows seemed to be breathing. In the distance, she heard muted hissing and struggled to pinpoint the sound. "Captain." She whispered, catching Kirk's attention. "Ahead and to the right."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded shakily, gripping her phaser a little tighter. They were there. She could hear their breaths coming in and out in a heavy swish. Maneuvering her way around the men, she took the front, slowly leading them toward the source of the sound.

Reya reached the edge of the seventh cargo unit. The breathing was loud enough now that the rest of the team could hear it too. Silently, she gestured for them to stay back.

Bones shook his head furiously, moving up beside her, but she pushed him back. She stared at him, willing him to trust her. He nodded quickly, mouth tight as she spun around the corner.

Four Romulan men were huddled into the corner, watching her with wary eyes. There was something wrong about them. Something with their eyes. They were inky black pools without any sign of whites, pupils, irises, or anything else that identified them as working eyes. "Doctor." She called out, trying to let a warning seep through her voice. She didn't want these men to know their numbers, not until she knew what was wrong with them. "Four alive."

Bones, and only Bones, stepped around the corner. Reya laid a hand against his chest, keeping him back with her. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Dr. McCoy, but I don't think Romulan eyes should to be that black."

"_She is clever, this child._" One of the Romulan men hissed.

Reya arched an eyebrow. He, or it, whatever this was, had spoken in Primary Romulan, the language of the first planet of the Romulan Empire. "_You speak English?"_

"_This vessel knows your primitive language and, as such, so do I."_

"What's he saying?" Bones asked, looking down at her.

"It's a parasite of some kind. It called the Romulan a vessel." She stepped forward, giving Bones a reassuring glance. "_What is your name?_"

The man slunk toward her, studying her as if she were a new and interesting sort of bug. Then again, to him, she might be. "_Does the clever child ask for the name of this vessel or for the name of my species_?"

"_Both. Either."_

_ "__We could be called many things in your tongue. The most appropriate would be the Shadows._"

"They're calling themselves the Shadows." Reya relayed. "_How do you work? Why have you infected these men?_"

"_Just as shadows need light to survive, so we too need the light of life. These bodies of carbon and water carry so much life._" The Shadow moved forward a few more spaces in his stolen body. _"__I should trade for you, clever child. So young. So vibrant. As we speak, my siblings move through the darkness to feed on your light. Six new vessels for six of my brothers and sisters. Perhaps I will allow them to take this vessel and claim you for myself."_

Reya started, slamming her hand on her communicator. "Transport. Six to beam up, now!" She shouted, grabbing Bones and dragging him out of the crevice. She pushed him ahead of her, stopping to shove the rest of the away team. "Put on your respirators and go."

"What's going on, Reya?" Kirk yelled over his shoulder as they ran toward the transport point.

Reya narrowed her eyes, pointedly fixing the respirator over her mouth and flipping on the microphone. "Do you want to talk, or get the hell out of here?"

"Both."

"Shut up, Kirk." She slapped at her communicator again. "Transporter! I said six to beam up." No response came over the line. "Great. The comms are out. Of course the comms are out. The comms couldn't possibly work when we actually need them to."

She darted into a nearby science lab. "Oi!" Reya stuck her head out the door. "Are y'all going to keep running or do you want to help me defend this small, controlled area?"

The team turned around and ducked into the room. "You realize that I'm the captain, right?" Kirk closed the door and they took defensive positions throughout the room. She didn't like this. It was too dark. "Where we hold up is supposed to be my decision."

"And yet, the ensign's decision is logical." Spock interjected.

She narrowed her eyes. "Shut it, Commander. I don't need you to defend my choices."

"This isn't the best time, Reya." Bones warned casually, moving closer to her.

"You can shut it too, Doc. In case you haven't noticed, Cupcake and I are the only ones with red shirts on this mission. Who always comes back in a body bag? I'll give you a hint: They don't wear blue or yellow."

Kirk scowled at her. "I wouldn't let that happen."

"Right. I'm supposed to trust you." She scoffed.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't poke the bear, Jim."

"No, Bones." Kirk cut McCoy off, glaring over his shoulder. "What does that mean, St. Claire?"

"Figure it out, Captain." She made it sound like a curse, but Bones was right. They had bigger problems right now. She could hear the hissing again, drawing closer every second.

"_You can run, clever child, but you cannot hide._" The Shadow taunted, moving towards the room they were in. "_We move through the darkness, travelling through that which strikes fear in the hearts of men and children alike._"

"Move through darkness." Reya repeated the words to herself. "Move through the darkness! Can we get the lights on in here?"

"And let them know where we are? Are you insane?"

"No, Captain." Spock interrupted. "Ensign St. Claire is right. They have emphasized that they move through darkness. Perhaps a boundary of light will keep them at bay."

Jim cursed. "Then get to it, Spock. See if you can get the lights on."

Spock holstered his phaser. Bones moved up behind her, placing on hand on her hip while he used the other to keep his phaser pointed at the door. He planted a light kiss on her shoulder. "You're good."

"I'm lucky." She tilted her head slightly, touching it to his shoulder. "That's the only Romulan dialect I know."

"If that one understood us, why is he still speaking Romulan?"

"I think he's one of the few on board who spoke English. The Romulan don't prioritize a diverse education."

That doesn't explain why they're speaking Romulan."

"By sticking to Romulan, the Shadows in the immediate vicinity can understand as well." She wanted to move. She needed to pace to think. "He said the vessel know, so he knows. The Shadows must work with some sort of telepathic absorption. They take on the memories and knowledge of whoever they've infected." Reya jumped, slapping Bones' chest excitedly. "That's it! Good green Earth, that's it!"

"What's it?" Hikaru looked over. "What are you talking about, Reya?"

"Moving through darkness! Telepathic absorption!" She sat her phaser on a table, striding around the room. "Doc! You're an expert on xenobiology. Make the connection!"

"I believe Ensign St. Claire has discovered how to class the Shadows." Spock said drily, pulling a panel off the wall. "While your enthusiasm is impressive in this time of danger, I do not believe now is the time for a lesson in critical thinking."

"Vapor forms!" She paced, linking the pieces together in her mind. "Light-sensitive vapor forms. Bodies of carbon and water. It made a point to mention that. Carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. That's what it needs to survive. Vapor forms only absorb what they're made of, so-"

"How do you know all this?" Bones interrupted.

"Joanna brought your alien life form text in one day. She like the idea of water sprites on Relaren 7." She waved her hand in the air irritably, as if she could beat the words away even as she said them. "That's not the point. What do carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen combine to make?"

"You don't know?"

"I'm a linguist, not a chemist!" She rounded the table, tapping her fingers along the edge as she walked. "Spock! I know you're listening. Carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen combined together in vapor form?"

"You would like help now?"

"I never denied you help. I said I didn't need you to defend my choices. Do you have an answer?"

"Carbohydrates, aldehydes, ketones-"

"Vapor, Spock. Vapor."

"Alcohol."

"Alcohol!" She bounced, and Bones could practically see her mind racing. "That's perfect! That means that-"Reya stopped suddenly, retreating into herself. Her fingers tapped out "Shave and a Haircut" as she ran through options. The lights flashed on and her eyes snapped open. "Alcohol is highly flammable. That's why they're light sensitive. Light creates heat!"

"What? What is she talking about, Spock?" Kirk watched her go around the table.

"I believe Ensign St. Claire is hypothesizing that these vapor forms are light-sensitive to the point that any adequate source of illumination will incinerate them, allowing us to escape with our lives." Spock started to dig through cupboards. "Given the current limits of our knowledge, it is a sound, if early, hypothesis."

"You want us to burn them?" Bones grabbed Reya's arm, staring down at her. "They're living creatures, woman!"

"You didn't hear them, Bones." She dropped her voice, pleading with him to understand. Fear lanced through her at the malicious glee the Shadow had expressed when it talked about eating them. "They want us to become hosts, vessels, that they can feed off. They'll essentially be suspending us in a living hell while they break down the basic building blocks of our body."

"Alright! Enough." Kirk slammed his phaser on the table. "Sulu. Cupcake. Man the door. St. Claire." He grabbed her upper arms. "I need you to put aside the fact that you're pissed at me and tell me exactly what he said, right now."

Reya closed her eyes, spinning back to the conversation. Slowly, carefully, she repeated each word, even copying the Shadow's inflection as she parroted their short conversation. She had to make them understand. These things were parasites, and they saw her team as a buffet. When she finished, she opened her eyes to Kirk's stricken face.

He glanced over to Bones, and a silent conversation passed between them. "OK." Jim pulled away. "Cupcake. Sulu. Keep your phasers trained on that door. Bones. St. Claire. We're going to help Spock find something to light these bastards up." He looked down, directly into Reya's eyes. "We will get out of here alive. All of us."

* * *

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	18. The Fifth Time: Part Two

_**Italics=Romulan**_

* * *

So far the Shadows had kept their distance, but the one from the cargo area was stalking them. He whispered to Reya as the small group made their way down the hall. "_Child? Clever child? Are you going to burn us, clever child? No. No, clever child. I do not think you will murder us. I do not think you have the courage._"

"Do not listen to him, Ensign St. Claire." Spock called from up front. "He is merely trying to frighten you."

"We're not even sure it's a he." Reya muttered, holding her lamp up a little higher. Bones chuckled, bumping against her. She gave him a grateful smile.

"_You smile, clever child, but we will still devour your light."_

"You'll burn in my light, you lucent bastards." She muttered, keeping her voice low. She saw a shadow shift to her left and quickly directed her light in that direction. The Shadow screamed, caught in the full beam. Reya forced herself to keep the lantern trained on it as it writhed on pain, even as her stomach revolted.

Bones touched her wrist. "We're trying to survive, Reya."

She nodded and they kept moving. "Captain? Should we search for survivors?"

"_Survivors? You believe that we would leave any of you delicious feasts alive? We have possessed every soul on this ship. We are slowly draining their light, clever child, and you cannot stop us."_

"What did he say?" Kirk demanded.

Reya couldn't repeat it. She couldn't believe it. There had been over 200 people on this ship. They couldn't have gotten all of them. Spock quickly translated instead while she struggled not to heave.

Kirk's face was grim. "Then we've got to keep going. We can't help these people now."

"_Run, run, clever child. We like the chase._"

She ignored the voice. Focusing on the inflection. They couldn't have gotten all of them. It wasn't possible.

"Why is it targeting her?" Sulu demanded.

"She made first contact." Spock replied. "She also saw that they weren't true Romulans. It has caused a fixation."

"Yay. Now I've a group of homicidal stalkers to add to my list." She commented drily, still running through every word the Shadow had said. "What do you think, Bones? Should they go above or below the superiors who see me as some sort of trophy us for grabs?"

"What the hell are you on about?" Sulu glanced back at her. Bones desperately shook his head, warning the navigator not to open that bag of worms.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about." Reya swept her light in a wide arc, finding a Shadow to the other side of Bones and watching it burn. Bones kept a hand to the small of her back while she gagged.

"_Poor, clever child. So full of pain and betrayal. You will taste so sweet."_

"I won't retch when I burn you." She promised. "I will smile and laugh."

Something was wrong. She could feel it. That tingle that alerted her to trouble when they arrived assaulted her spine again. It was something the Shadow said. "Bones. What do you know about the psychology of terror?"

"Is not really the time?"

"Bones!"

"Do you want to know how it affects you, or how someone uses it as a weapon?"

"If someone is trying to use it as a weapon, will they lie to elicit the reaction they're searching for?"

"Of course." Bones stopped suddenly, staring down at her. "What are you thinking?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. I don't know." She gave him a slight push. "We need to moving."

There was something wrong. She knew it. Something in everything he said didn't sit right, like there was something just beneath the surface.

"Escape pads are 30 meters ahead." Jim announced. Cupcake incinerated a Shadow as they turned the corner.

"_Brave, clever child. Resilient, clever child. You will never make it. We will draw the light from your body, enjoying every succulent scream your mind emits as we strip away what you puny, corporeal beings value as your identity. Just as we did to the miners who worked this machine."_

The pieces clicked into place.

She was the weakest. It had nothing to with first contact. She was the most vulnerable member of the team. She had half the training, none of the strength, and she was the only female. It picked her because it knew using her as a target was its best bet for getting the team off this ship as quickly as possible. There was something here it didn't want them to know about.

"We're almost there." Jim called back.

It had to be survivors. Even if the Shadows had attacked during the ship's night cycle, there had to be someone, anyone, who had stayed in the light, and they wanted whoever it was more than they wanted her team.

She looked over the men in front of her. Cupcake was a lecher, but he made it his number one priority to keep everyone safe. There was a caring soul buried beneath all blatant fumbling. Hikaru was her best friend, right along with Pavel, even if both of them were on her shit list right now. They'd made her feel at home on the ship when she thought she'd be a loner forever. Jim was arrogant and annoying, but he took his duties as captain seriously, and he put his crew above everything. Spock came across as cold and analytical, but he loved Nyota with all his heart and always made time to help anyone who asked. And Bones. Bones with his infinite patience and perpetual grouchiness because he cared too much. He took people into his heart after the first introduction and then tried to keep them at arm's length until they either annoyed or shouted their way past the barriers.

There were still survivors on this ship. She knew it as sure as she knew that they'd never get them out as group. Not and still have every one of them get back to the _Enterprise_ alive.

She saw a Shadows flickering at the doorway and called out a warning. The men cleared the entrance as she swept her light behind them. Her heart broke as she realized what she had to do.

Spock opened the escape pod doors, crawling into the cockpit.

"Give me those." Reya ordered, taking the lanterns from them as they entered. "It'll be easier to strap in without trying to keep ahold of these."

"What are you planning, Reya?" Sulu asked handing over his lamp. "I know that look."

"Hikaru, you owe me." She whispered quickly. "For all this bullshit the past week, you owe me, and I'm collecting." She glanced over at Bones. "Whatever happens, you get them back to the _Enterprise_ and you do not let them come back."

"Reya-"

"Do it, Sulu." She pushed him in. Leaning around the opening, Reya grinned, trying to hide how frightened she was. "Hey Bones!" McCoy turned his head back, staring at her expectantly. She memorized those hazel eyes, all too aware that she might not make it back to see him. She almost started crying as she hit the emergency launch switch. "I love you."

* * *

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	19. The Fifth Time: Part Three

_**Italics=Romulan**_

* * *

"No!" Bones fought with his harness, ready to chew himself out I he had to. "Go back! Dammit, you emotionless bastard! Go back! We can't leave her there!"

"I cannot do anything, Dr. McCoy. The emergency launch Ms. St. Claire enacted will not allow my any control for the next five minutes. A precaution installed into all emergency pods to prevent them from turning back in a misguided effort to save those left behind." Spock's hands were white on the controls.

Cupcake cursed and Jim punched the dash.

"She doesn't want us to come back." Sulu was so quiet, so numb, they almost didn't hear him. "She told me to get everyone back to the _Enterprise_ and stay there."

"Why?" Bones was still tearing at his safety restraint. "Dammit, Sulu! Why?"

"I don't know!" Hikaru yelled. "But I know Reya and I know she has a plan. So we are going to do exactly as she says, and, so help me, if any of you fight me on this, I will beat you into submission." His eyes zeroed in on Spock and Kirk. "I don't care what your rank is or how strong you are."

* * *

Reya tied the last of her lamps around her waist, creating a safe circle of light about her. She held the one her hand and sliced it in front of her like a sword. Laughing at herself, she thought of the old Earth movie _Star Wars_. It wasn't exactly a light saber, but she wasn't exactly a Jedi.

No. She was a Starfleet ensign, and she was filled equal parts terror and rage. She was tired of being angry and afraid.

_"__Oh stupid, stupid child. You almost escaped. Now we will have you."_

_ "__What is your name?"_

_ "__We are Shadows."_

_ "__But what is your name?"_

_ "__Stupid child, feigning bravery. Tragic and sweet. Clever, stupid child."_

"What is your name!" Reya moved forward, forcing a smirk as Shadows shrieked and shrunk back. "Come on now, Shadow! I am Ensign Reya St. Claire of Starfleet. What is your name?"

"You speak to me in the tongue of primates. It is an insult." The corporeal Shadow she'd spoken to in the cargo area stepped forward, just out of the light.

She smiled grimly. "I like my primate tongue. It's my native language, you know." She walked forward, the laugh a little less strained as he flinched back. "Now listen well, because I'm only going to say this once.

"I have no stomach for death. I don't want to kill you, and, thanks to these beautiful babies," she wiggled her hips to make the lamps shimmy, "I won't have to. Instead, I can walk through this ship, free as a bird, gather up as many survivors as I possibly can, and walk out, happy as a clam, without you doing a damn thing to stop me. If you try, you die."

"There are no survivors. We have taken them all."

Reya laughed, circling him. There was a sort of giddy freedom that came with embracing your vengeful side. "Look at how you flinch, yet you consider me weak and pathetic. Your actions give you away, Shadow-Without-A-Name. There are survivors. I will find them, and I will take them from you. And, before I go, I will see you dead, even if I vomit my stomach up afterwards." She walked as close as she could. "You never should have threatened my friends."

* * *

She found them four levels down, cowering in the captain's quarters, the entire place lit up like the Christmas. One of the same lamps she had tied to her waist sat on the table between them, ready to chase away any stray Shadows.

There were twelve of them: four men, two women, six children. One of the men picked up a phaser, pointing it at her as she walked in. It made her achingly aware that she'd left her own phaser in the science lab. "_Let me see your eyes_."

Reya held up her hands, keeping the lantern hooked over her thumb. "_I'm a friend, not a Shadow. See my eyes. Green, not black, and plenty of whites."_ The man lowered the phaser hesitantly, and she gave him a reassuring smile. "_I am Reya St. Claire, of Starfleet. I'm here to get you home."_

One of the women looked up. "_Those creatures-"_

_ "__Cannot stand the light._" Reya started unhooking the lanterns from around her waist. _"__You already know this_." She sat them on the table next to the one lamp they already had. "_With these, we'll escape."_

"You are from Earth. How do you speak are language?" The man who'd pointed the phaser at her stepped forward, eyeing her warily. She noticed he was wearing some sort of officer's uniform, not the mining clothes of the rest.

"I'm a communications officer. It's my job to know different languages." She checked the charge on the lights. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"Of course."

"Well so do I." Reya tossed him a lantern. "We need to trust each other in order to do that."

"We don't know you." He stepped into her personal space, trying to intimidate her.

She was so far beyond intimidation it wasn't even funny. She calmly pushed him back. "And I don't know you. For all I know, you may be one of the radicals who took up Nero's idea to destroy the federation. The big thing though is, I don't need to know if you are, and you don't need to know about me. What you do need to know is that I made it here without a scratch on me. You also need to know that my team and you need to trust that I'll get you to another."

She frowned, looking around. There were too many people. They'd never make it out in one group. "We'll have to make two trips. Two men, one woman, and three children this time, the same the next."

"No. I will not leave any of them alone."

"Then come on the second trip."

"I meant with you."

Reya paused and bottled her anger. She couldn't blame him. The man didn't seem to care. "We are the only survivors. For over a week I have gone out to gather food and water and to search for others. I found him," he pointed to the man sitting in the center of the room, directly beneath a light, "on the second day, huddled beneath an emergency light in sickbay. He was surrounded by over twenty bodies. And her," he pointed to a small child, "on the fourth day. She was on the toilet, weeping because her mother and father were mummified corpses just outside the door. They have already been through hell. I have to protect them. I will not allow them to go off with a stranger."

"Dead?" Reya jerked her head up. "So they don't always just inhabit the bodies?"

He shook his head. "No. They didn't start doing that until they started running out of bodies. Before that, they just… devoured them."

She nodded, struggling to find a way to get them all to an escape pod in one piece. They couldn't go as a group. There were too many of them, and too many small children. Even with the lanterns, there wouldn't be enough light. "What is your name?"

"Captain Caligula of the mining vessel _Taxila_."

"Well, I serve under Captain James T. Kirk of the _Enterprise._" She watched him for signs that he recognized the name. "If you've heard of him, you'd know he would shoot me out of an airlock if I attempted to hurt the very people we're supposed to be rescuing."

"Kirk came to rescue Romulans? I was under the impression that he, and most in Starfleet, despise us."

"Yeah, well, most are human and most humans are stupid. Not to be immodest, but I'm not. Neither is my captain." She leaned on her elbows, hold her head in her hands. "Can you trust me, and we get these people out in two groups, or do we have to find another way, because I'm not leaving this ship without all of you."

Caligula stared at her, searching her up and down. "What if I already knew another way?"

"How?" She stood up, watching him closely.

"These creatures didn't destroy the entire power grid. They only blocked the back-up system from kicking into place. I can fix it, but I do not want those… things, to take me, and my back needs to be turned for too long to do it on my own." He looked around the room. "These people are frightened already. I can't ask one of them to help. Prove I can trust you. Get me to the controls, and get me back here alive, and I'll trust you and your captain to get my people home."

Reya bowed slightly, a Romulan gesture of respect. "Deal."

* * *

Caligula laughed, running to catch up to her. "You are more terrified than you let on."

"I was in a room full of people who needed to believe that someone was there to get them away from the vicious creatures picking them off. Being that sort of person meant that I had to project bravery and confidence, even if it was false." She skidded to a stop at the edge of the corridor, shining her light in all possible directions. "It's just you now, and you need to know the score."

"And what's the score?"

"I'm exhausted, I'm afraid, I'm pissed off, and I'm alone with a group of people who might prefer to see me dead than have me help them." She rounded the corner carefully, waving him after her. "I'm probably going to lose my job because I jettisoned my team, which was made up of people who were all higher ranking than me, off in an escape pod because I could see no viable way of all six of us getting to you and getting out of here without someone dying, and when that happens I'll be sent away from my friends, a dream job, and the man-" She paused, refusing to think about it for now. "I'll be sent back to Earth. If I'm lucky, I can find work at a Federation embassy. If not, I'll get stuck teaching xenolinguistics at a community college. That's the store, Captain Caligula."

He shook his head, pinning a nearby shadow. "Starfleet is a group of morons if they fire you. It is rare to find someone who puts others ahead of themselves in a time of crisis."

"You did."

"I'm a captain. You're a communications officer. Are you even trained in combat?"

"Minimally." She isolated a shadow a few steps ahead and chased it with the light. "I can fire a phaser and break someone's ribs if they grab me from behind. That's about it."

"Yet you sent away more highly trained officers because you'd rather you lost your life than someone you cared for." He pulled her under a security light, breathing heavily. "For the record, if Starfleet is fool enough to fire you, I will personally put in a word for you at the Romulan embassy." He grinned. "My husband works there. And none of us want to kill you. Nero's actions were reprehensible."

"That's a load off." Reya scanned the area, searching for the tiniest flicker that would announce the presence of another Shadow. "Are you ready?"

He nodded. "The control room is just ahead, three corridors down. Two lefts and a right. Four doors to the right."

They moved quickly. There was an almost savage pleasure in counting out the number of Shadows that fell. Six had gone down by the time they made it to the control room.

There were four more by the doors. Reya and Caligula worked in tandem to burn them away. As soon as they were scorched on the wall, they slipped inside and dead-locked the doors. Checks were made over every area of the room. Apparently the Shadows hadn't thought to post anyone inside.

"How long will you need?"

"Not long. It's just twisting a few new wires around and welding the panel shut." He knelt down, quickly working at the metal sheet. "I'm going to set a self-destruct for thirty minutes from now. Can you get us to an escape pod by then."

"What? No! What about the bodies of the dead?" She found a small, reflective piece of metal and used it to spray light across the room. "Their families deserve the right to bury them."

"Our dead are cremated anyway." Caligula hissed as he was zapped. "And I'd rather deny them that right than risk a single shadow escaping this ship. Can you get us to the escape pods that quickly, or not?"

She frowned, passing him a pair of pliers. "I can, but I don't like this."

"I don't either." He laughed as he stripped at the wires. "I love this ship. She's my first posting. I hate the fact that I've got to destroy her."

Reya saw a flicker in the corner and quickly grabbed the lamp up, but it was only from her own movements. She breathed out a sigh of relief. These Shadows were making her paranoid. She'd be sleeping with the lights on for months.

More hisses and a few Romulan curses rang out from behind her. She was having to fight not to laugh. It was shock settling in. The adrenaline was wearing off and she was going to be hysterical in about fifteen minutes if she didn't find a way to keep together. "You need to hurry, Caligula."

"Almost there."

"Caligula. Hurry."

The lights flickered on and he sat up with a whoop of triumph. "Almost there, Ensign St. Claire. Just hold it together."

"How did you-"

"You're voice is shaking." He popped on the small welding torch. "Normally I'd just tack this, but those things are slippery bastards. I can't leave a way for them to get in."

"Do what you have to do. Just _hurry."_

He welded quickly, watching the red fade with satisfaction. "Ok." He stood up. "Let's go get my crew. They're probably gathered outside, so I'll open the door and you lead the charge. That should boost your adrenaline enough get you through until we're safely on the escape pod."

She gave him a surprised glance. "You're a good captain."

"Thanks. You're a stupid warrior." He moved to the door, getting ready to punch in the code.

Reya grinned, hands shaking as she held up the right, ready to, literally, burn through the door. "Good thing I never wanted to be a warrior."

* * *

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	20. The Fifth Time: Part Four

_**Italics=Romulan**_

* * *

The lights were a blessing. Some of the fear the remaining crew and children carried alleviated from the simple flicker of halogen above them. Screams had rang through the ship as Reya and Caligula ran back to the them. They still rang out now, the painful and satisfactory sound of Shadows in their death throes.

"_Come on, little one. Come on._" She coaxed hefting of the children on her hip as they ran. They were almost to the escape pods. She could see them ahead. "_We're almost there. We have to keep going._"

"_Stupid, clever child. Vengeful bitch. You kill my brothers and sisters and expect me to let you live? You will all die."_

"What is that?" Caligula called back. "Who is that."

"One of the Shadows infesting a human body. He's a bit… focused on me."

"Why?"

"Search me." They skidded in front of the first pod they came to. Reya passed off the Romulan child, hefting her light a little higher while Caligula crawled in with a light, searching for anything that might be hiding inside.

"We're clear." He called out, reaching for the first child. First children, then women, then the men, with Reya and Caligula buckling down last. Standard protocol.

She held her breath, sweeping the area behind them while they waited.

"_Wait for me, clever child. I'm coming for you."_

_ "__I told you I would see you die before I left this ship. Come for me, and I'll make it happen."_

"Then kill me." The Shadow stepped from behind a container, skin steaming, and malice in his eyes. "Oh, but you can't, clever child. You have no stomach for killing. You said so yourself." He pulled up a phaser, walking toward her, the light burning away bits of flesh as he stepped through the light. "I have no such inhibitions."

He fired, the beam tearing across her shoulder. It had been within a hairsbreadth of her neck, no serious damage, aside from a her shoulder and a few tendons showing, but it hurt all the same. She dropped to her knees, screaming.

"St. Claire! What was that?"

"Get your crew on the ship Caligula!" She cried, even as the Shadow stepped toward.

"They can go." It said, pacing around her. "All of those delicious children. We could have survived for ages off them. But I smell you now. So much life carried inside something so small. New life, only a few hours old. I will live forever."

She blanked, zapping to her place of focus. She had to make the pain fade and the ignore the children's scared cries or she'd never be able to get off this floor. She made herself concentrate on it, on the Shadow, narrowing her field of vision and pushing away all other thoughts except getting to him. Shakily, fighting her body's desire to shut down completely from the pain, she wrapped fingers around a lantern.

The Shadow swooped down, yanking her head back by her hair. "Breathe in deep, clever child."

She smashed the lantern into its face, following it back as it tried to jerk away. Even as she vomited to the side, she held the lantern to him until he stopped kicking, and a few seconds longer for good measure. Gasping, swallowing back bile, she crawled off. "I told you I'd see you dead."

Caligula came out, looking around for. "St. Claire!"

Reya waved, the edges of her vision going black. "Emergency code."

"Not now, woman." He growled picking her up.

"No." She could hear her voice slurring. She was about to pass out. "Code 1-8-1-5-sierra-delta-2. Lt. Pavel Checkov. He'll know it."

"I'll tell him." Caligula sat her next to the man he said he'd found in Medbay. Reya felt cream and gauze being applied as she lost consciousness.

* * *

"No."

"It is the most logical course of action."

"I don't care."

"Lt. Sulu-"

Hikaru stood up, pacing around the table in the debriefing room. "We're not blowing up that vessel. Reya is still on there."

Spock sighed. "Statistically, Ms. St. Claire has already fallen prey to one of the vapor forms. It has been two hours since our departure."

"Bullshit." Bones looked up, haggard and torn. "Reya's still fightin' in there."

Sulu came to stand behind Bones. After a moment, Scotty joined them. "Ensign Sunshine isno' dead. She's too fierce. She willno' let herself die."

"If she did not want to die, she would have boarded the escape pod with us."

"She knew something we didn't! She had to have!" Bones ran a hand through his hair. "Dammit, man! She believed in keeping things to hope for. Unless every single one of those reasons was extinguished, she wouldn't have made a suicide attempt."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Dr. McCoy, but you're the one who informed us that she believed all our 'blatant, sexual preening' over the past week was an expression of low opinion of her in an effort to claim her as a prize. She does not interact with many who are not in this room. The belief that we all had began to see her as less than a person could very well have driven her to suicide."

"Do you think you're the only people in her life? She has a mother and a brother back on Earth. She has me. She wouldn't have killed herself."

Nyota stood up, joining the small opposition forming at the opposite end of the table. "I'm sorry, Spock." She smiled apologetically. "But I can't agree with this. Not when Reya could still be alive."

"I'll resign if you do this." Carol added, scooting her chair down to join them.

Jim looked over all of them, indecision warring in his eyes. He couldn't let that vessel continue on, not with those things aboard, but he didn't want to risk killing St. Claire in the process. "Checkov to Captain Kirk." The communicator blared to life. "Captain, I need you on the bridge right away."

"What is it, Checkov?" Jim asked

"I think it's Rey- Ensign St. Claire, Captain. There's an escape pod transmitting her code."

The room exited in mass, fighting through the doorway. "Make contact."

"I have, Captain. It's not Reya speaking. He says he needs to speak directly to me." Checkov watched the viewer, hand itching to bring up a visual.

"What are you waiting for? Put it on the screen!"

Checkov sighed with relief, typing in the necessary commands. The viewer presented the magnified view of a Romulan man, tapping at the controls of an escape pod impatiently. "This is Captain James T. Kirk of the _U.S.S. Enterprise._" Jim said, standing at attention in the middle of the room. "Who am I speaking to?"

"Captain Caligula of the mining vessel _Taxila_." The man said. "Do you have a Lt. Pavel Checkov with you?"

Checkov stood from his chair, fumbling slightly. "Here, sir."

The Romulan man looked Checkov over. "I have a message from one of your friends. Emergency code 1-8-1-5-sierra-delta-2. Does that mean anything to you?"

"It is a specialized emergency code I created for Ensign Reya St. Claire. Is she there?"

Caligula smiled, settling back. "I'm sorry. I had to be sure of who you were. Yes, St. Claire is here. She's injured though, and unconscious."

Bones and Scotty took off out of the bridge, probably headed to the transport room, and Jim took over the conversation. "We'll lock onto your signal and beam you aboard immediately."

"Leave me in the escape pod to dock it safely. Beam up eight. Six children, three men, and three women, including St. Claire. We don't want this thing free-floating in space." Caligula took down the pod's meager defenses. "And Captain Kirk, you should be very proud of your ensign. You'd be a fool to lose her."

"I'm well aware of that." Kirk replied brusquely, half-listening while Checkov put in the call to transport. "I have no intention of letting her go anywhere."

"Let her know that, will you? She seems to think she's going to be fired."

* * *

Reya woke groggily, trying to sit up. Her shoulder gave out from under her and she fell back on the bed. The blinding pain that shot through her brought it all back. Getting shot in the shoulder, the Shadow laughing at her, and he'd said something… something about new life.

Someone gripped at her hand, and she wearily turned her head. Bones was there in his civvies with blood-shot eyes and no shave. "Mornin'." She murmured, catching his attention. "You look like hell."

He broke into tears, laying his head on the side of the bed as he sobbed. Awkwardly, she wrestled her hand out from under his and placed it on his scalp instead. "Hey there. Enough of that. I got shot. I didn't die."

"Do not ever do that again, Reya." He lifted up his head, pressing kisses into her palm. "Do you hear me? Do not get shot. Don't even get a damn papercut. And you sure as hell better not put yourself in a ship full of homicidal vapor forms while you simultaneously send away anyone who can help you."

"I had to, Bones. There were survivors. I knew there were."

"Then you should have told us."

"I couldn't risk your lives on my hunch." She cupped his cheek in her palm. "And I couldn't think of a way to get us all through the ship without someone dying. A smaller party could hoard more light and move through safely."

Bones turned his head, scrapping her hand with his stubble. "I don't care, Reya. You could have died."

"And someone would have if I hadn't done things the way I did." She stood by what she did. It had been the only way. "I'm sorry, Bones, but couldn't let that happen." Reya furrowed her brow. "Everyone did get back alive, right?"

"Hikaru nearly killed Spock when the hobgoblin tried to turn around, but other than that, we're all OK." Bones chuckled. "Jim is fit to be tied since there are members of his crew who'd rather listen to you instead of him. I'd watch out."

She smiled, laying her head back. "Eh. I'm getting fired anyway. He won't have to worry about it much longer."

"Reya, darlin', we're talking about a group of people that came up with a whole complex scheme of flirting and innuendo to either get me jealous enough, or you uncomfortable enough, to make a move. All because they wanted to see us happy." He laughed, remembering the incredulity that assaulted him while Spock calmly explained what that had been all about. It was an insane, immature scheme, but it was, fortunately, just crazy enough to work. "I don't think they'll fire you."

"Even though I shot you out in an escape pod?"

"Even though you shot us out in an escape pod." He reached up, brushing some hair out of her face. "Speaking of which, what you said-"

"I meant it, Bones." She interrupted, face flaming. "Can we just leave it at that, for now? I'm still kind of tired."

He stood up, grabbing a hypospray from the table. "Right. Of course. Let me just give you a sedative and-"

"No!" She instinctively rested her hand on her stomach. "No. I don't need a sedative. I mean, I've already been asleep for…"

"Two days." He supplied. "The longest two days of my life. I swear, Reya St. Claire, I will tan your hide if you ever scare me like that again."

She grinned. "Tan my hide whenever you like, sugar. I like it."

"Hush." He whispered, leaning down to give her a kiss. "Let me give you a sedative. The more you sleep, the faster you heal."

"Skip the sedative and come sleep with me." Reya carefully turned on her uninjured side, making room for him on the bed. "I'll sleep better with your arms around me than I will on drugs anyway."

"You're still healing, Reya." He warned, prepping the hypospray.

"Oh good green Earth! I want you to _sleep_ with me, Bones, not take me on a roll through the hay stack." She gingerly moved her arm back, patting the bed behind her. Reya blinked up at him, giving him her best set of puppy-dog eyes. "Please?"

Bones groaned, setting the hypospray back on the table. Grousing, he climbed on the slim bed. "Damn you and your green eyes to boot."

"You love them." She teased, relaxing as he carefully placed an arm around her waist.

"I love you." He corrected, kissing the back of her head. "Now get some shut eye or I'll stab you with that hypospray."

She snuggled back against him. "Whatever you say. Doctor knows best, after all."

"Shut up, Reya." He closed his eyes, listening for her breathing to change. Before he knew it, he was drifting off too.

He woke up alone.

* * *

**_Please read and review._**


	21. And One Time He Didn't

**_This is my last update, guys. The story is over. I think I'm going to cry. Thank you all, so much, for the support you've given this story. If it hadn't been for the kind words in the reviews and the steadily growing number of follows and favorites, I probably would have taken this story down and kept my ideas in my notebooks. I will be writing more. I'm not sure about more in this category, but I have a few ideas for a Lestrade/OC in the Sherlock fandom and a Captain America/OC in the Avengers world, so if either of those interest you, keep your eyes peeled._**

**_Thank you again. I cannot say that enough. Thank you for reading. Thank you for reviewing and following and making me feel as if I've managed to write something worthwhile. You are spectacular people._**

**_Guest:_****_ Being a cuddler does not mean one likes to be constantly touched, especially not while they're working, but, your right, as long as it got Bones and Reya past that tight, formal small talk they were using to dance around each other with, it was more than worth it. Scotty is just awesome on all fronts. I love that crazy engineer._**

* * *

And one time he didn't…

* * *

"Where is she?"

Jim didn't bother to look up. He knew who it was; he knew what they wanted. Right now, his main concern was trying to explain to Starfleet who one of his junior officers was able to get away with jettisoning him and half his command team out in an escape pod without being brought up on sanctions. He was hoping the eight lives she'd saved, thirteen, if he included said command team, would go a long way toward easing headquarters' ire. "She on a shuttle to the Orion station with the Romulans."

Bones punched a wall. "Dammit, man! She was trying to protect us!"

"I didn't send her there, Bones. She left of her own free will." Jim pushed the P.A.D.D. away. He'd let Spock file the report later. His first commander would be able to spin it in a way that would make the bureaucrats eat shit and smile about it. Looking up at Bones' haggard face, he took pity. "She'll also be back in twelve days. She just needed to visit their medical team."

"Why? This ship has the best Medbay in the galaxy-"

"For ship accidents and battle wounds." Jim interrupted. "You're an emergency room, Bones. She needs more specialized care, and the Orion station can offer things like primary care physicians and obstetricians."

Bones thunked down into a chair. "Obstetricians?" Jim nodded. "She's pregnant?"

"When she explained it to me, she the Shadow who shot her mentioned something about new life. She wanted to go back and get it confirmed at the Orion station and get it confirmed before she said anything to you. Apparently they have equipment capable of detecting pregnancy much earlier than anything we have."

Bones nodded. "Whoever created this ship didn't think we'd have much use for that kind of technology."

"Well that was a stupid decision." Jim laughed. "Nyota's pregnant. Reya might be. The longer we're out here, the more the crew turns to each other for sexual release, mainly because they know I don't care about fraternization. There are bound to be more pregnancies before this voyage is over."

Bones didn't say anything. He looked like he was in shock. The doctor was staring at the wall behind Jim's head, eyes glazed, mouth slack. "She's pregnant."

"Possibly."

"She's pregnant."

"Bones. Bones!" Jim snapped his fingers, trying to draw his friend out of it. "Are you OK?"

"She's pregnant." Bones suddenly jumped out of his chair, grinning from ear-to-ear. "Ha! Dammit, man, she's pregnant! Do you know what this means?" Jim mutely shook his head. "She can't run anymore. I get to be a daddy again and she can't run anymore!" He sat back down, a blissful smile replacing the more manic grin. "No more away team. No more combat training. No more running, and I'm going to have a baby."

"It might not be yours." Jim ventured hesitantly.

He didn't believe it any more than Bones apparently did, because McCoy waved the suggestion away. "It's mine." He replied, dead certain. "It's mine and she can't run."

"She might not keep it."

"Then she wouldn't be going for a confirmation. It's early enough that she could still get a shot and be done with it." Bones laughed. "She's keeping it, it's mine, and she can't run."

Jim smiled, settling back in his chair. "Go to work, Bones, and pretend to be surprised when Reya comes to talk to you. The only reason I said anything was because I don't need you drunk and grumpy with everyone for the next week."

Bones pulled out his flask and tossed it to Jim. "Take it. I'm going to make like a cactus until after Teddy is born anyway."

"Teddy? How do you know it's going to be a boy?"

The doctor shrugged, walking from the room. "I just do. Theodore Jashmuc McCoy, and he's going to be as perfect as Joanna."

* * *

Reya leaned against the doorway, watching Bones fill out paperwork. He had bags under his eyes, at least a dozen empty coffee cups on his desk, and at least three days-worth of scruff on his jaw. He looked like hell and she'd never been happier to see him.

She knocked on the frame. "Hey, gorgeous. Am I interrupting?"

He grinned, motioning her in. "A welcome interruption. Come here, darlin'." He pulled her down on his lap, mindful of her injured shoulder. "I've missed you."

Laughing, she carded her fingers through his hair. "Kirk told you."

"Nope."

"Liar." Reya gave him a soft kiss. "If he hadn't told you, you would've been all over me the second I walked in, demanding to know where I'd been and why I left."

Bones held her a little closer, running a hand over her stomach. "Alright. You caught us. He squealed like a stuck pig and I didn't even have to pull out the thumbscrews." He settled on her lower abdomen, just under her navel. "Are you?"

"The Shadows may be sadistic bastards, but they're very good at sniffing out barely burgeoning balls of cells." She grinned, laying her hand over his. "It's still so early that even the deep scan had trouble picking it up, but it's there, two weeks along."

"And everything's ok?"

"My body is producing all the right hormones. My cervix and uterus are doing exactly what they're supposed to do. There doesn't seem to be any lasting effects on the blastocyst from my trauma or subsequent treatment. Dr. Gellman looked at my medical history and said, since Zach was a little premature, I'll need to take it easy in the last trimester, but my primary obstetrician will have final say."

"If your final obstetrician has his way, you'll be on bed rest until you give birth." Bones kissed under her jaw, where his mark had faded away. He'd have to fix that. "Are you scared?"

"Terrified."

"Are you keeping it?"

She peered down, biting the inside of her cheek. "Do you not want me to?"

"What?" He picked her up, settling her on the desk in front of her instead. "Reya, I can think of nothing more perfect, nothing more beautiful, than seeing you grow with my child." He leaned forward, kissing her stomach. "But I know how you fell about motherhood."

"I can't do that, Bones." She settled her hand on her stomach, wincing as she stretched the raw skin on her shoulder. "I know some women can. I know some women need to because of circumstances beyond their control. It's their choice, and I don't care which one they make. But I can't. I'm petrified that I'll be a horrible mother to this child too. I'm panicking at the thought that I might constantly compare it to Zach, but I can't get rid of it. It's not in me." She took a deep breath, scooting back a bit. "I'll understand if you don't want to be a part of this, especially after what Jocelyn put you through. I won't ask for anything, not child support or for you to be a part of it's life, but I have to keep it."

Bones sighed, dragging her forward and laying his head against her knee. "Reya, I don't say things like this often, but I am deadly serious." He looked up. "If you try to keep me from you, from my child, I will make your life a living hell. I will stalk to you to ends of the universe. I will move anywhere you move. Earth, Rumulus, New Vulcan, it doesn't matter. I will camp out on your front lawn and trail you to work. I will fight my way into the room where you give birth and I will kill any man that so much as smiles at you. I'm a doctor. I can make it look natural." He gripped her hips, pulling her forward until she teetered on the very edge. "I meant what I said. You are mine and I am yours, and I don't give up what's important to me."

"And I'm important to you?"

"As important as the Sun is to the Earth." He kissed her stomach and down to her hip. "I'm telling the truth, Reya. If you try to run, I will follow. And follow, and follow, and keep following until I wear you down." Bones grinned up at her, eyes twinkling with mischief. "I know I can. I have better stamina than you."

"Oh, do you?" She laughed, beaming from the combination of compliments and relief. Reya slipped back into his lap. "You're going to have to prove that, Doctor."

They didn't have all the details. There was a part of them that whispered to them about their pasts and the traumas they'd already faced, warning them not to bother. They weren't sure if they'd make it through all the trials and arguments and plain old bad days that every couple faces. But, for the first time since Lt. Uhura had brought a shy, young ensign into Sickbay and made her shake the hand of a certain cranky doctor, they were both willing to try.

* * *

**_Please read and review._**


	22. Epilogue

**_Actual last chapter. I really am going to cry. Let me take this moment to say, once again and for the final time, thank you. See you later, guys._**

**_Love,_**

**_J.M._**

* * *

**_Epilogue_**

* * *

"Teddy! Joanna! Be careful! Don't get too far ahead." Reya stood on her tip-toes, watching the kids disappear into the jungle gym.

"Leave them be, Reya." Bones stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around their waist. "They're children in a park. Let them have a little fun."

"Then let me worry."

"You're not worrying. You're fussing. We talked about this." He leaned down, nipping at her ear. "Remember the security gates when Teddy started crawling?"

"There weren't _that_ many."

"Or locking up the sewing needles?"

"He could've poked his eyes out! Literally!"

"And then there was Joanna's socks and the loose string."

"You saw that article, same as I did. If her toe had gotten tangled in just one of those strings, it could've cut off circulation and she would have lost the adorable little digit."

"Stop reading my medical journals." He swirled her around, giving her a deep kiss. "And let the children play. If you don't behave, I'm going to get Jim and Carol to come watch them and take you home?"

"Are you going to send me to my room, Dr. McCoy?" Reya teased, looping her arms around his neck. "Do I need to pick a switch while we're here?"

"Good green Earth, woman!" Bones groaned dropping his head. "There are children present!"

"You started it."

He smiled, brushing back a strand of black hair. "I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered, standing on tip-toe to give him a kiss.

Teddy came crashing back through the crowds, slamming into his parents legs. "Mama! Mama! I wanna swing. Push me now!"

"Theodore Jashmuc McCoy! What have I told you about patience and manners?" Bones scolded, dropping down in front of his son. The little boy had Reya's jet black hair and his own hazel eyes. He was unusually short for his age and none of his baby fat had faded. Nor should it have. He was only three.

Teddy dropped his head. "Sorry, Daddy."

"It's ok, little man, but we have to mind out p's and q's." He kissed Teddy's forehead. "Go find your sister and ask her, but remember your manners."

Teddy nodded and ran off. Bones stood up, draping an arm over Reya's shoulder, watching his son and daughter at the swings. "We have great kids."

"We certainly do. They're going to miss you next month."

"It's only for a few weeks. No more five-year missions for me." He kissed the top of her head.

She leaned against his chest. "Why Jashmuc?"

"What?"

Reya shrugged. "I didn't say anything at the time, because I didn't have any better ideas, but I always meant to ask. Why Jashmuc?"

"Initials, honoring the ones who made his conception possible."

"I'm pretty sure that was us, Bones."

He laughed, holding her against him a bit more securely. "Well certainly for the actual conception, but let's face it, without Jim, Andreievich, Spock, Hikaru, Montgomery, Uhura, Carol, and their meddling, we would have danced around each other until the mission was over-"

"And then I'd leave the ship to be a professor at the Academy and you'd fly off ever few weeks for a new mission with Kirk and we'd only see each other at requisite functions." She laughed. It had been so long that she'd forgotten she'd ever been stupid enough to believe she could live without Bones. That's not true. She remembered all too well, every time she caught the flash of panic in his eyes because she woke up before him or wasn't in the house when he came home. But she didn't think she could ever do it again. "You do realize that if Pavel ever found out you used his middle name, he'd stun you right? And Scotty would screw up the environmental controls in your quarters if he found out about using Montgomery."

"I needed an extra vowel and there was already an –s."

A small, coffee-colored girl with straight black hair and slightly pointed ears ran over to Teddy and Joanna, babbling excitedly, and Reya turned to wave at Spock and Nyota as they walked up. The two were blissfully happy, and, though he'd deny it to his last day, Spock could be just as overprotective as Reya. He just had better excuses.

"Sunshine and Bones." Nyota shook her head, reminding Reya once again that her unfortunate nickname from her family had spread out amongst the crew. "I still say it sounds like a desert scene."

"Nice to see you too, Nyota." Reya grinned, giving the woman a quick hug and nodding in Spock's direction. "How is little Uzari?"

"Precocious and spoiled, as always. Teddy and Joanna?"

"We're trying to teach Teddy his manners. Jo thinks it's funny and is trying to sabotage us."

"Is that what older siblings truly do?"

"You better believe it."

Bones snagged Reya around the waist, pulling her back against him. "Don't listen to her. Jo is happy as a pig in slop to have a baby brother and Uzari will be too."

Spock smiled warmly at Nyota. "I informed you that would be the case." He turned back to look at Bones and Reya. "Will you be joining everyone for dinner tonight?"

Bones grinned. "It's at our house, Spock. That sort of means we have to be there."

"That is not entirely true. You both hosted the holiday festivities last year, yet, after being caught under mistletoe, disappeared for several… oh."

"Still there, Spock. Just didn't think everyone needed to see us." Reya laughed. "That won't happen tonight. Just one, large, dinner with friends and family. It'll be like Thanksgiving! Except we're having steaks, not turkey. And yes, I have a few tofu kabobs marinating for you, oh-vegan-one."

"Thanks you, Sunshine."

"I'm going to kill Scotty." Reya growled under her breath.

Nyota smiled indulgently. "Do it later. If you'll excuse us, we're going to go kidnap your kids for a few hours. Think of it as our thank-you for hosting the BBQ."

"I suggested having the BBQ in the first place." Reya pointed out.

"Yeah, but your feeding us, and your cooking is better than a replicators." Nyota settled her hands on Reya's shoulders. "We'll take very good care of them. I give you pull permission to fight Spock to the death if they come back with more than a scraped knee."

Spock looked affronted. "Excuse me?"

Reya giggled, nodding slightly at Nyota. Despite, she stood on her tip-toes and watched her two, former, commanders as they quickly explained to Teddy and Jo what was happening and the small group made their way out of the park. Bones let her, giving her a look of resigned patience and mirth.

"Come on." He murmured, tugging her away. "We have an entire afternoon free. What would you like to do, Mrs. McCoy?"

"I thought we'd-" She paused, pulling back to stare at him. "Mrs. McCoy?"

Bones dug around in his pocket, pulling out a small velvet box. He'd meant to wait until the BBQ tonight and make a big show of it. Everyone would be there. All their friends from the _Enterprise_, the few they had on Earth, his brother and Reya's family. She'd be surrounded by happiness and love and he couldn't think of a better place to ask her to take that final leap of faith.

But he couldn't resist rolling that name around either, just to see how it sounded. Surprisingly good. "We live together. We have a child together. We've made it through arguments and tears and you said some very hurtful things in the delivery room."

She smacked his chest. "Hush. I was giving birth."

"And even in the middle of shouting and sweating and cursing in languages I didn't know existed, you were the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on." He reached out, tucking her hair back. "I know you don't like the idea of marriage. It took me years to get to this point, but I have to ask." He popped open the box, going down on one knee. "Reya Marie St. Claire, will you marry me?"

Reya laughed, pulling him to his feet. "Oh, get up here. Look at you making a scene like we're in the Globe." She smiled up at him. "Of course I'll marry you. But if you ever do the whole bended knee thing again, I'll be forced to hurt you."

Bones shook his head, shakily taking the platinum band etched with exquisite scrollwork and slipping it on her finger. He remembered her saying she hated jewels. They drew too much attention. Reality set in and he whooped, picking her up and spinning her around. Reya let her head fall back, laughing as they spun. Slowly coming to a stop, he whispered against her lips, "I love you, Mrs. McCoy."

"I love you too, Dr. McCoy." She wiggled, asking to be set down. "Now let's get home and have some fun before people show up."

"Did I mention I really, really love you?"

* * *

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